Sexual assault.

I've given this post a very clear title, so if this subject upsets or triggers you in any way please feel free to pass it by and don't read it.

I have been sexually assaulted four times.

I don't mean men copping a feel or groping me though those things did happen, I mean fairly serious sexual assaults.

The first time I was about four years old, it was the father of a playmate. He did this about four or five times. My family moved to a different area so the abuse stopped.

The next assault happened whilst I was at junior school so I was under eleven years old. It was after school and I was waiting for the underground train that I travelled on every day to and from school. A man came up to me grabbed my hands and at the same time tried to kiss me, ramming his tongue into my mouth. My fingers were gripped and pushed down and I felt something strange and spongy. It was years before I realised that he'd been forcing my hands onto his erect penis.

I didn't tell my mother about these events as I was aware I'd get into trouble, looking back I cannot understand why I would have been in trouble but I'm sure I would have been.

When I was a teenager I was not a timid teen, I went regularly to the local cinemas with a group of three or four friends. We would sit in one of the rows starting from the aisle  I was always the one who sat in at the middle as you could almost guaranteed that some perv would come along and try groping me. The reason I sat where I did was because if someone did sit next to me and try to touch me I would immediately stand up and shout out a complaint. I lost count of the number of dirty old men who were thrown out of the cinemas in Putney because of me.

As I said I wasn't a timid person but the next assault happened when I was sent by my female office manager to deliver some paperwork to a rep staying in a nearby hotel. I was about 16 the man I was delivering the paperwork to was in his 40's I was told to take the paperwork to his room and once I was there he locked the door and made a very serious attempt to rape me. I put up a spirited defence, scratched his face and kneed him between his legs and fought him off. When I returned to work I made a complaint to my office manager who told me that I was making a fuss about nothing and not to be so silly. I left that job shortly afterwards.

The final assault happened when I stayed the night with a work colleague, she and her boyfriend had cooked a meal and we had a pleasant evening with a few drinks. Eventually we all went to bed but I was woken up some time afterwards when the boyfriend came into the room I was sleeping in and tried to get into bed with me. He said his girlfriend had refused to have sex with him and had fallen asleep. He expected me to provide what he was missing, I fought him off and pulled handfuls of hair from his head. This finally persuaded him I was not interested in having sex with him.

I was then free of attacks until towards the end of my first marriage, but I've posted about that before so I won't repeat myself.