Counting the hours.

I'm dog sitting for my daughter Cass from Thursday, I can't walk her dog, he's far too strong for me. But she has organised a dog walker so Beano and I will keep Albie company and I will also feed her guinea pigs, she has loads of them. She never needs to mow the grass in the back garden, the piggies keep it short for her.

Steve isn't happy about me going to Cass's, he wants to know exactly what time I'm being collected (just so he can complain that it's inconvenient and demand the time is changed). I don't know what time, I'll get ready the night before. Cass is holidaying with her six children, two of whom have never flown before. She really is very busy and doesn't need to try to accommodate Steve's foibles. She will message me to let me know when she's on her way.

Then Steve decided we needed to order from the supermarket and get it delivered, so I had food to take with me. This was another attempt to find out what time I'm being collected. There is a shop in Cass's village so I won't starve, there is also a dog friendly pub that I can eat lunch in, and a coffee shop if I fancy cake.

Last night Steve decided he felt unwell so he wants to visit the Drs today. I think he's fine, he's just looking for an excuse to stop or delay my visit.

it's going to be hard to return here.

Comments.

Corrine and Sue. Steve wants a meal at 5 o'clock because that means I have to leave the summer house get together. So making sandwiches or something similar wouldn't work. His aim is to stop me socialising.

There are a couple of places of like to visit, clubs and trips out but if I do Steve is unpleasant to Beano. Beano then gets distressed as he doesn't understand what he's done wrong.

I'm not prepared to subject Beano to this, neither am I prepared to put on here my plans to  avoid this continuing.

Keeping busy

Firstly a big thank you and an apology to Cindy, we had a temporary postman one day recently and he posted your card through the door of an unoccupied flat. Your kind card was only discovered when the manager took someone to view the flat and discovered the card. It was passed to me late y'day. Thank you for your kindness.

I had hoped that by giving up alcohol Steve's behaviour might improve but it hasn't. He still wants to control who I'm friends with and who I talk to. Still when I go to the summer house he sits and glares at me, he's decided he needs feeding at 5 o'clock every afternoon. This means I can't socialise for long as his meal needs preparing.

I'm going to my daughter's soon for a week, it will be a nice break, she's going on holiday with her children. I shall be looking after her pets whilst she's away.

I left Beano alone in the flat when my daughter and I went to collect Steve from the hospital, he was beside himself with excitement when Steve and I returned home together. 

I'm still pottering on with the quilt I'm making, I have many hours a day to fill and quilting helps.

Catchup post.

The emergency cord alarm system seems to have been repaired.

Steve has given up all his gardening chores, if he has done so permanently I shall replant the areas nearest the front door with perennials.

The residents are becoming suspicious about Steve's medical appointments, I think they realise that no-one needs two months of thrice weekly injections, MRI scan and cameras down the throat and up the bum for arthritis in the knee.

If I'm asked what ails him, I do an impression of Manuel from Fawlty Towers and say "I know nothing".

Betty's bowling season has finished so I'm hoping to see more of her at the garden get togethers.

Get a grip.

Essie, last time I contacted a Dr about Steve they immediately told him and the shit hit the fan, so I won't be doing that again.

I had a very bad panic attack y'day, it took me ages to get it under control. I was still a bit wobbly when I got up this morning, fortunately when I walked Beano in the park, there was a dog owner I see regularly I was able to have a chat with her. Not about the panic attack, just a general chat about the weather and our dogs etc. I felt better afterwards.

I definitely need social contact, isolation isn't good for me. Unfortunately Steve doesn't like me talking to people so it's a constant battle.

Steve had a bit of a strop when he couldn't get the tv to work, he wanted to watch the Grand Prix. Fortunately he got it working in the end and only missed the first 15 minutes.

Freezer audit

Because of Steve's behaviour with regards food, I stopped cooking meals for him about three years ago.

Now he is unwell he wants me to start providing meals for him again. Actually he doesn't want me too, but as he lied to the Dr about what he eats, he needs me to cook.

We normally order a Tesco shop on a Thursday for delivery on Friday. This week, because he's been told to cut down his alcohol intake, we can't meet the minimum amount needed for a free delivery.

As we have Aldi and Lidl at the top of the road I've suggested I take my wally trolley and go shopping. Once I'd checked the cupboards, fridge and freezer all we need is bread, toilet rolls and I need some fruit. It should be a very cheap week food wise.

The fan

The proverbial has hit the fan, a resident had an accident and despite three people pulling their emergency cord there was no response. Yet another money saving dodge by the housing association.

Steve had two appointments y'day so he was out almost all day. This meant I had a peaceful time of  it, obviously he yelled at me when he arrived home. He was tired and the hospital procedure wasn't without its challenges. Fortunately he went to bed soon after his return home.

He has a Drs appointment this afternoon so another couple of hours peace. Nothing tomorrow but another appointment on Friday. Next week is full of appointments as far as I can see and then the week after he's back to the hospital. 

Steve can't understand my lack of interest and care, he has forgotten how badly he treated me when I was in hospital.