Motherhood is not for everyone, I have a great deal of sympathy for people who wish to become a mother and can not, for whatever reason.
I also have a great deal of admiration for people who decide to remain childfree for whatever reason.
I loved being a mother, it was the best time of my life though neither my mother or my mother-in-law approved of the way I brought up my children.
Both of them considered themselves to be perfect mothers and so did not approve of my way of doing things. I decided how I wanted to bring up my children and then read a lot of books until I found one that aligned with my views. This meant whenever my mother in law complained that I was doing it all wrong I simply pointed her in the direction of my chosen book.
My mother had worked in a nursery before she married, she believed that babies should be handled as little as possible and left to scream themselves to sleep. My mother planned, when she married to have two or three children, starting with a son, these children would be impeccably behaved at all times. Unfortunately I was not the male child she believed should have arrived first and by the time I was three months old my mother placed me with a child minder and returned to work as a school teacher. She regularly changed child-minders although I don't know why and I only remember one of them. A lady with three adult sons of whom I was terrified. I spent most of my time there tied to a table leg and hiding under the table in the kitchen.
As I was a timid and well behaved child my mother started taking me to work with her. She was a supply teacher, mainly working in the reception class and as there were between 30 and 40 children in the class, one more didn't make much difference. My mother eventually realised that she preferred dogs to children and from then on whichever dog we owned was always her favourite. The only thing I ever remember my parents arguing about was that my mother preferred our dog to me. I was, however, my father's favourite.
When I had my first child my mother in law visited me whilst I was still in hospital recovering from an emergency c-section, I had placenta previa and the placenta had ruptured. Fortunately I was alone in a small four bed side ward. My son was in the special care baby unit as he was a few weeks premature. My mother in law stormed in to the ward I was in and immediately started screaming at me, she insisted that my placenta previa was proof that I was immoral and proof that my baby was not her son's child. A staff nurse walked in as she'd heard the screaming and came to see what the problem was. The staff nurse threw my mother-in-law out and she was not allowed to visit me in the hospital again. Obviously her behaviour affected my husband's feelings about our firstborn and he was very suspicious, Fortunately both my sons are the image of their dad so there can be no doubt about thier paternity.
