Friday, 19 April 2019

It's a blank

My mind that is, things have happened but everything is overshadowed by trying to manage the PSPC.

There is no help available, CHS has refused to go to the gym for ages, I may put my foot down and insist but he still may refuse.

He still goes to Stroke Club but I've volunteered to help in the kitchen when he's there, it may encourage him to continue, he may give that up too.

Sometimes he is really unpleasant, sometimes he looks so scared and lost, it's heartbreaking.

13 comments:

Brenda said...

This is sad and difficult for you. Could your children help if you have children!!!!

kate steeper said...

would you like to borrow my wall to bang your head on chuck

Andie said...

Dear you,
I had a stroke in 2006 and believe me it changes you. However, all these years on and I hope I am a lot better. I can manage most things and have just done a load of ironing. My temper was off for a while but even that has evened out, I am told. I have had the joy to watch my youngest grandchild grow and she has lightened the load she is such a joy. My husband put up with a lot but I have improved and I know and feel I have. Keep your spirits up and enjoy your new boat. All things change. Love Andie xxx

The Weaver of Grass said...

I have no experience of such things but Andie's comments sound sensible.

Anonymous said...

I've been wondering how you were doing. I can't imagine, it must be so difficult. I have no advice to give, but just wanted to let you know that I'm thinking of you.

Witch Hazel said...

I wish I could think of something helpful to say. Hugs to you.

Theresa Y said...

I'm sorry you're going through this difficult time. I hope things get better. Maybe a support group for you. I don't mean volunteering in the kitchen. i'm mean a group that focuses on you. Sharing with people that can maybe give you some adice on how to handles things since they have walked in your shoes.

Pat said...

It's certainly tough. One day at a time here, though it's more like one minute at a time sometimes (most of the time)
Chin up lass.
Pat.

Margie from Toronto said...

I am so sorry that life seems to be getting more difficult rather than easier. The only bit of experience I can offer is what a friend went through with her husband after he had brain surgery. He became very difficult and very reliant on her - refused both physical and occupational therapy - and became quite mean, especially toward her. She became not only his caretaker but his servant. In the end, she died of cancer (she had ignored her symptoms because here was always something more that he needed). Ten years later he is still going strong - in a wheel chair but living on his own - getting out and about (something he refused to do when she was there to take care of things) and with an assistant to help in the apt. just a couple of days a week.

For both your sakes, don't give in, he has to learn to cope with both the physical and mental realities of his life now - and you need to have a life - full stop.

Anonymous said...

My husband had his first stroke in 2003, at the age of 54. Things changed instantly. He lost a good part of his vision, his short term memory is practically non-existent, and his balance is poor. But, he was determined to not let it stop him. Of course, he had to quit work but he "puttered" around the house and yard, always finding something to "do", even though things took 3 or 4 times as long to complete as before, and everything he did was slightly crooked. We had 14 good years, with an adapted lifestyle. We even travelled. In 2017, he had a second stroke complications and he is now in a chronic care facility (permanently). I understand your frustration and bewilderment. It is one minute at a time sometimes. Be thankful for all the good minutes and focus on them. Be glad, as I am, that he is still around. The alternative is not pleasant to think about.
Myra, from Winnipeg, Canada

kelley said...

Thinking of you...please take care of yourself...I know from personal experience the toll being a caretaker has on your body and soul...

Hard up Hester said...

Brenda I have children but they all have busy lives, they do what they can.

Kate, yes lease, a wall would be useful.

Theresa, I have looked but there are no support groups for the partners of stroke survivors.

Thank you for your comments I shall keep on buggering on and hope for the best.

Rosie said...

I have had two serious strokes 5 years apart. It has taken time and determination to recover quite well but have been left with deficits. It is so difficult to come to terms with and stay optimistic. It is scary that strokes are so sudden and unexpected. Suddenly I was unable to do things I was able to do as a child and felt infantilised and powerless. I grieve the loss of my healthy lively old self. Helping others see how I have progressed and emphasising that improvements can come even after a year or two of plateauing has spurred me on. Of course I have been selfish sometimes and frustration has got the better of me but it has been a team effort with all those around me. I am hoping that today has been a better day, don't underestimate how valuable your role is and how appreciated you are.

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