Now it's "I am Jane Doe!"
I am frequently in despair at the treatment some people suffer at the hands of others.
I was not a particularly cared for child, my mother was not abusive but she was disinterested, which my have contributed to my experiences.
I was four years old when I was first sexually assaulted, I was told and I believed that it was my fault though somehow I now doubt that it was.
I consider myself lucky as I have never suffered serious harm but I have suffered harm.
From the boyfriend who punched me in the face when we split up to my first husband who's sexual proclivities caused harm that should have resulted in hospital treatment. I recovered to an extent though I still have some minor problems.
In between these there was the teen who grabbed me as I was waiting to catch the train home from school, he kissed me and forced my hands towards his penis, I had no idea what it was that I could feel. I was still in junior school so probably about 9 or 10 years old.
There was the time at work when I was sent to deliver some paperwork to a visiting customer, he grabbed and groped me, I fought back and got away, I then lost my job as I'd annoyed the customer.
There was the time I stayed for one night with a colleague from work as I was moving from London to Bristol. My lease was up on my bedsit and she offered me her spare room for the night. Once she was asleep her partner came into the bedroom. I had to fight him off. When he left I was clutching a handful of his hair that I had ripped out.
I agree that it's not all men but I have never been sexually assaulted by a woman!
I am also lucky that whenever things happened to me I didn't freeze with fear, I fought back and I yelled my head off.
This is why I was always sat at the end of a group of friends of we went to the pictures, I could be guaranteed to shout out and sometimes lash out is someone tried to grope me.
I repeat, it's not all men but it's enough of them!
4 comments:
I’ve had a few similar as have my three sisters. Sometimes, i had to rescue them. One was a babysitting husband. I told him if he touched me again i would scream enough to wake his wife. I never watched their daughter again. It’s disturbing how prevalent this behavior is! And, IT WAS NOT YOUR FAULT!,
I have permanent damage to the joints of my jaw thanks to one individual.
As you say, not all men but the ones who do act like that think they have every right and can get away with it. Well no they can't, but when we're very young it's very difficult to stop them. I was groped on several occasions, starting when I was 12, by a family friend. Then a serious sexual assault by a different family friend when I was 13. Both men ensured my silence by reminding me they knew where I lived and telling me nobody would believe me anyway. I think most women would have a similar story to tell.
Absolutely, none of that abuse was YOUR fault at all. My father is 87 now but he was 21 when I was born and he spent the next 20 years physically and emotionally abusing me, my sister and my mother. He is an unmedicated, bipolar, malignant narcissist and a gambler who spent all the family's income, and it was HELL living with him. His actions and my resultant emotional trauma changed the course of my entire life. We never get over it, we just learn to live with it. Hugs to you, how is life in your own place with no miserable git of a husband to ruin things? LOL xx
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