Rollercoaster

Well after yesterday's visit when we thought MIL was unlikely to make it through the night, today we visited & she's sat up in bed eating porridge!

FIL arrived whilst we were there, brought in by another family member, he was very tearful and worried, he has been told by BIL2 yet again that no visitors are allowed apart from BIL2 and his wife.

He has also been yelled at by BIL2 and blamed because the rest of us are still visiting.

So Monday when we visit I will be having words with the hospice team. They have been very good and insisted that BIL2 & wife leave the room when anyone else arrives, but I'm not having FIL bullied in this way. If all else fails I will involve the police.

Another day

Another visit, MIL was asleep for most of the time we were there. I sat in reception reading to start with as she has been moved to a single room and there were already 3 people in the room.

BIL is back from his holiday and he visited after we left, he was intending to visit tomorrow, but hubby phoned him to suggest he visited sooner rather than later.

MIL was on oxygen when we arrived, but after a while she asked to see me and wanted the tubes removed, I helped her take them off. We checked with a nurse who said whatever MIL wanted was fine.

We will visit again tomorrow if she makes it through the night.

Hospice

Thank you all so much for all your kind comments, 

MIL has finally been moved to the hospice,

we have been to visit her and she looks so much 

more comfortable already. We are looking at a 

timescale of day's only, but the change in her 

treatment has been incredible, she has pain relief

via a pump, the right amount of pillows, an extra 

blanket on her cold feet & unlimited ice cream as 

this is all she can eat now.

I had a bowl of soup at 10:30 yesterday morning & 

then nothing else 7:30, we spent a couple of hours 

 with MIL, an hour with the staff who are speaking 

to FIL and encouraging him to visit, they have 

assured him that MIL needs him and they have 

offered BIL2 counselling,  hubby & I will 

take him to visit at the weekend.

We drove home through a downpour of biblical 

proportions, as soon as I'd dropped hubby home I 

had to go back out to collect neighbour and drive 

her to the vets to collect her dog, this took just 

over 2 hours, I suppose as the vet is charging 

£2490.64 she thought she'd best make the 

appointment last as long as possible.

Hip Hip Hooray

MIL was moved to the hospice today!!!!

Going from bad to worse

Another day, another hysterical phone call, FIL is now speaking to us again, BIL2 has banned all visitors to MIL. 

FIL is desperate to visit MIL, but too scared of BIL2, MIL is pining for FIL.

I phoned the hospital and was told that we can still visit but BIL2 is standing guard to stop everyone getting near her, we will visit tomorrow and take FIL if he wants to go. 

I'm expecting security to be called! 

My lovely contact at the hospital assures me that we are not the worst family they have had to deal with but I find that hard to believe.

She asked me today 'You are supporting your husband, your father in law and 2 of your brothers in law, who's supporting you?'

I sat and sobbed at my desk, fortunately no one came in and saw me.

Hospital PALS

Another hospital visit today, well we go at least every other day & sometimes daily.  Today I visited PALS, I have previously phoned them, I have enumerated my concerns & things have improved considerably.

MIL is now on hourly pain relief, staff are checking on her more frequently & her buzzer is now within reach instead of behind her head.

FIL is no longer speaking to us, we had a phone call from his neighbour complaining about our unkindness to him.  He's told the neighbours that we drive past the end of his road & never offer him a lift to hospital!

I explained that actually we drive past his motorway junction & it is a 45 minute diversion to collect him, and we offer to collect him every bloody time & most times he refuses, often rudely.

Still no hospice bed for MIL, but I phone daily to check on the bed situation.

Every time I sit down I fall asleep & my hair is still falling out.

Let's play a game

MIL has chosen 'All Time High' sung by Rita Coolidge to be played at her funeral. She chose the song as it is how she feels about her husband, he is her 'All Time High'.

This made me think, what song would you chose to epitomise your relationship?

I'm still trying to think of an appropriate song for my relationship.