Monday 25 November 2019

And now I've developed a twitch

I'm keeping count of how many days it is before Steve's behaviour starts to get to me again.

I saw my DD's on Friday, I'm collecting my Dgd's from school on Monday and it's stroke club Tuesday so I'm hopeful that these social interactions will keep me sane for a few days.

Steve's meeting with his brother on Friday cheered him up and he was fairly calm over the weekend.

But today was a bad day, Steve got up late, we drove to the drop in audiologist department at the hospital, the journey took twice as long as usual because of road works. When we arrived the department was heaving, standing room only so he wouldn't stay, he left and we will try later in the week. All this means he is stressed and irritable.

Some days I feel as though my head is wrapped in cotton wool, nothing seems to sink in and I have trouble doing day to day tasks. My memory has never been brilliant but now it is appalling. This always improves if I can get a break, unfortunately most of the time Steve's anxiety is at fever pitch so the minute I get home he starts again.

I'm not at the cotton wool stage yet but I have developed a twitch in my right eye, oh the joy of it!

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

Are you lacking in B vitamins perhaps? I get eye twitches if I don't take mine for some time.

justjill said...

I cannot understand why you have not been offered support. I am in Scotland and I know it is better than England. I take it you are in touch with Social Services? They have been wonderful to us offering the DP respite support?

justjill said...

I cannot understand why you have not been offered support. I am in Scotland and I know it is better than England. I take it you are in touch with Social Services? They have been wonderful to us offering the DP respite support?

Hard up Hester said...

There is no support available, believe me I wasted a lot of time looking for help.

I may try to get some vitamin tablets.

Anonymous said...

I feel for both you and Steve.
I have chronic health anxiety, and know the demands I make on my husband are unfair, but make them I do. Anxiety in my view is a very selfish disease, as it makes my focus all about me, and has little consideration for others. I can’t know if this is Steve’s experience, but I applaud you for ALL that you do, and not just for Steve.

I wish I had the magic wand....
I don’t know if it makes a difference, but I feel that you are a positive part of so many peoples lives, both in real and virtual spheres.

Doesn’t help with the exhaustion, the stress, and the unfairness.... or perhaps it does just a little?
Mary

WorcsAnnie said...

The problem with anxiety is it does not change the outcome, so you are getting all worked up for nothing really. Would his brother have him to stay to give you a break. Does he have male friends who would sit with him?

What does not help your situation is you are in a confined space, I know from living in a tiny bungalow that we nearly end up killing each other as there is no where we can escape from each other.

I wonder if there is a stroke/dementia forum where you can get ideas to help retain your sanity

Wishing you all the best

Hard up Hester said...

Thank you for your comments, Steve cannot stay with his brother and has few friends, most people disappear when illness arrives.

Pat said...

It was me that left the vitamin B comment Hester, I was in a hurry and didn't leave my name. I'm vegetarian and find if I haven't taken my B vits for a while I get the involuntary eye twitches. If I don't then start to take them after a couple of weeks the side of my mouth starts twitching too. It's definitely the lack of B vits for me, trial and error over many years have proven it.

I see you're still having the comments about the help that's out there, as we know it's non existent and not for the lack of trying. People also don't seem to grasp that not every person would be happy to go for respite if there was any, my husband refuses point blank to visit, stay or do anything he doesn't want to do.

Hard up Hester said...

Hi Pat, thank you I will look into the vit b suggestion.
It's very true, even if there was somewhere for Steve to go I doubt very much if he would go.

Siebrie said...

Hester, I really admire you.

Steve managing to keep calm on your birthday seems to indicate that he has some control over his emotions, that he chooses not to use the rest of the time. Can you discuss that he has to leave you alone from 9 to 10am each day?

It's been rough.

We've had a few difficult days. The weather has been nice and sunny though not particularly warm. I'm not sure what triggered Steve ...