Wednesday 18 December 2019

One day, one task, one step

I have developed a new sleep pattern, it's manageable, three or four nights of a couple of hours sleep and then a full eight hours for one night.

I'm not complaining, lots of people sleep badly as they get older and at least having hundreds of books on my kindle I can usually find something to read.

I don't find that using the kindle makes it harder to sleep, in fact if I didn't have it I'd end up worrying whilst laying awake.

If I wake from an anxiety dream or with a panic attack, reading calms me down especially one of Lyssa Medana's books.

Last night when I woke though I couldn't read as I was very dizzy. I negotiated my toilet visits with my eyes tightly shut my eyes as everything was whirling around if I opened my eyes.

I've been awake since 2:15 but I'm not dizzy, this is good as sometimes the dizziness can last weeks or even months. I can control it to a certain extent by not making any sudden head movements but this is tiresome and gives me a stiff neck.

This particular attack has been caused by the generosity of my darling Dgd who has shared with me the virus she has been suffering from. I have a hacking cough as well.

Some winters see me struggling with dizziness from the first cold snap until the willow fluff bursts upon the scene. I'm allergic to willow fluff and I go from bunged and dizzy to sneezing and streaming almost over night.

The disadvantage of not sleeping well is that problems loom large, this can make sleep even more elusive. I try to combat this by breaking up my worries into bite size chunks.

I try to take things, not even one day at a time or even one task at a time but one step at a time. There are so many things out of my control that all I can do is focus on that next step.

Tomorrow's first step is getting Steve to yet another Christmas dinner. Once that is achieved I'll plan my next step.

Yesterday I achieved quite a lot, two separate shopping trips in opposite directions, purchasing boardgames, getting replacement headlight and brake light fitted by my lovely mechanic George and helping Steve to get the boat to the service jetty for a pump out.

7 comments:

Mo Finn said...

You have my greatest admiration for all that your are achieving x

Susan Bell said...

Im full of admiration too Hester. I am not at all sure that I would do as much as you do if I had a ‘Steve’.

Sue in Suffolk said...

I'm never sure what to say so just sending a virtual ((HUG))

readlisten said...

I also suffer from severe insomnia. I have made it easier to live with by listening to talking books on my phone in the wee hours. Our libraries have thousands of free audio books for downloading and it only takes a minute.The reader's voice soothes me and I tend to drift in and out of sleep, but if I should remain totally awake, I am engaged and entertained and I have no time to worry. As always, I wish you all the best during this difficult time.

ShellyC said...

I too don't sleep very well, every time I turn over or move I wake up because of the pain and discomfort.
I sleep with the TV on, apparently the worse thing that you can do. But it works for me. Stops a lot of outside noise and gives me something to concentrate on. Instead of all the weight of the world.
I suppose we all find a way to cope, that suits us.

Siebrie said...

That seems similar to my sleep pattern at the moment, but mine is due to a snoring husband!

Would it be helpful to have a notepad and pen next to your bed, to write down all those niggly thoughts, ideas, and worries? Then they are out of your head and on paper.

Lyssa Medana said...

Sending hugs and good vibes and I am incredibly flattered that my stuff is relaxing.

My go to when I can't sleep is mentally measuring for curtains, as I was never taught my 12 times table at school but work it all out in inches, feet and yards for curtains of all sorts of different sizes and shapes. I get so caught up in working out the yardage including seam and hem allowance, I fall asleep. Take care.

This weeks veg box.

  Another nice selection of fruit and veg for this week, I'll share it with Betty again.