If you know the words, sing along, have I given you an earworm now?
I'm not currently planning on divorcing Steve although I have no objection if he decides he wants a divorce. He is more likely to want a divorce as he would like to remarry I'm sure. He is a few years younger than me and ever since his friend married a lady in her 50's he has wanted to do the same.
I see no point in lining a solicitor's pocket for no good reason, Steve is due to inherit a reasonable sum of money at some point (if his family ever manage to stop arguing about it!) I'm not interested in taking money from Steve and as I said I will continue to pay the service charge for now to protect my credit rating.
I will discuss this with my family to see how they feel about it, Steve is not their father but I would like their opinions on this matter.
16 comments:
Think he would have to find a saint if he wants to remarry! My daughter paid all the costs when she divorced her husband so if I were you, I would just sit tight x
A wise move to wait and see. I just hope Steve doesn't build up debt that you would be liable for if you remain married. A chat with the kind folks at Citizens Advice might be a good idea. Carole R.
I divorced my 1st husband and did all the paperwork myself so I didn’t have to pay a solicitor. It was all an amicable with my ex husband and so it wasn’t complicated. Not sure what it would be like if you didn’t get on so well.
I agree! Why file for divorce, pay all those fees. If you don't need a divorce, then let Him do it. Just sit back and be happy. Just make sure he doesn't make any bills that will hold you responsible for repaying.
hugs
Donna
You are wise to wait but I know you don’t want monies from Steve’s inheritance but I wouldn’t brush it away too fast if he incurs debt whilst you are not there and he has inherited funds then it should be he pays those himself. Also with what you have endured I would say he “owes” you something. Paying your flat dues yo keep your credit score safe is a good idea. But you have to do what’s right for you
Would be nice if Steve gets his inheritance while you are still married as you would benefit but understand that you are not about the money, your sanity and happiness are far more important to you, sending best wishes. Jan in Castle Gresley
I totally understand, very sensible too. I let my ex divorce me after I left him and I didn't contest or hire a solicitor. He could then get all the legal aid which helped him & things moved quickly without a fight thankfully. I didn't want anything from the marriage, I just took my clothes, he was welcome to the house & everything in it, which I signed over to him. I was just happy to be free. That was over thirty years ago, not sure how it all the legal stuff works now. Good idea to discuss with your family though, I'm glad you've got them to help and support you with your decision making. I didn't have anyone I could trust, so I took the fastest route I could to out. I survived though ! You will too x
you can get legally separated , its quite cheap and then you arent liable for anything they run up . my ex ran up 70k in the space of 6 months then was gutted that i didnt have to pay a penny
I was about to comment on this because I was sure there is a way to not be legally responsible for any debts incurred after a separation. Good luck going forward and I'm so glad you have your family for support. Audrey in New Zealand.
That’s a good idea of being legally separated as would hate for Steve to run up debt and then hold you responsible and you are lumped with debt. I hope any credit cards are not in both your names.
The other commenters have good advice. You don't want to end up liable for his debts. I filed for divorce and have never regretted it.
Get him to buy your half of the house.
My understanding a spouse is only responsible for their spouse’s debt if it is a joint debt, so not convinced of the need to separate.
If you need advice Try Citizens Advice Bureau - it is free and they can help.
PS so good to see you out of that situation
You know what's best for you, but getting your family's opinion are a good idea. You seem to have gone about everything else in a very sensible way.
Re your credit rating, look into a 'notice of dissociation' which you can self complete (templates on web) and that separates your credit rating from your partners.
Just dotting the ' i's ' and crossing the 't's ' here, a couple of points, change of address notification for everyone including DWP and the Electrol Register. Apologies if this is all in hand already.
I never have liked the sound of that maggot ex and if he thinks a 50 something lady would look at an overweight drunk with health and bullying issues, he is very, very deluded, unless she comes with similar baggage that is! Love to little Beano as always Sandra x
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