I was married to my first husband for 25 years, but 10 years into our marriage, when our fourth child was 3 months old my husbands father died suddenly.
He died 1 day before he was due to retire, he died because he was given a dose of morphine, he lied to his Dr and said he hadn't been drinking when in fact he had and drinking heavily.
Because he was officially still employed when he died his wife received his full works pension and a generous life insurance payout.
Everything was left to my mother in law, she was able to give up work and have a holiday every year.
This had a devastating effect on my husband, his son.
He became depressed and his personality changed, he became someone I didn't know and couldn't love, he refused help as he believed the problem was with the rest of the world, not him.
He developed twin obsessions, money & sex.
I am now watching my second husband's mental health being destroyed, not just by the death of his mother but by his family, fighting amongst themselves & trying to drag him into the arguments.
Fortunately he is turning to me for support, I have kidnapped his phone, I've turned it to silent, and I'm vetting all his calls. I will fight them all tooth and nail if need be to protect him.
I refuse to lose another husband!