Answers to some questions.
Why does Steve have access to my Amazon account?
We have Amazon prime, it's a family account, a few of us use it, I just need him to remember to tell me when he's buying something.
Why don't I leave?
Where would I go? In an emergency either of my daughter's would take me in for a couple of days but not permanently. Neither of them have room for me they both have more children than bedrooms. My son's are both in rented accommodation where no dogs are allowed so what would I do with Beano? When we first left the boat, Steve wanted to rent somewhere. As we couldn't provide proof of any previous rental history we had to pay £2000 pcm for an air bnb. I wanted to buy a property for security. Steve still wanted to rent but soon realised that there was a huge waiting list in this area for sheltered rental property. We purchased this property after six months of paying £2000 a month. If we sold this place Steve would be entitled to 50%. This wouldn't leave me enough to buy anywhere else. The rental market here is still desperately short of sheltered properties. Most also don't allow pets. I like living here, there are some nice people and some that are a PITA, those I avoid!
Why don't I make Steve go to the Drs?
We have two part time Drs covering two surgeries, each surgery has a Dr on site for one or two mornings a week. We can't change surgeries as the only two nearby aren't taking on new patients. If we make an appointment it is cancelled or changed repeatedly. Also Steve doesn't feel the need to visit the Dr, so how am I supposed to force him to attend? In Steve's world he is fine, it's everyone else who has a problem.
I'm just living my life the best way I can, I struggle with being deaf and losing my sight but try to make the best of things. If you don't like my blog then don't read it.
16 comments:
I'm beginning to wonder how many times you need to explain all this to the readers of your blog. Surely all the commenters can't be new readers who do not know of your circumstances. Perhaps they have bad memories, but virtually everything that you have told us here has been said a couple of times before, either as a blog post or in answer to comments.
In future to save your time and your sanity, just refer anyone who asks about doctors, Steve's medical condition or why you can't just split up to this post. You are doing the best you can for yourself and Beano, surely more people can realise this and just let you blow off steam every now and then here on your own blog, without feeling the need to 'solve' your problems for you.
Keep on keeping on Sue, you are doing your best and lots of us understand this. xx
I think you are amazing and I too am sorry that you have felt the need to explain your life again
There are no easy answers or quick fixes - if there were you would have thought of them
Siobhan
One of our sons lives near Newbury and when he was renting before him and his wife managed to buy, the rent was ridiculous even then. I'm not surprised you could not even consider renting anywhere alone.
Have a moan, it's your blog. Cuddle Beano, curse quietly (or not) and carry on.
You are living the best life you can for you and Beano
Doing the best you can for yourself.
Not completely ideal but you manage.
I agree with Sue. You are doing a fantastic job. It so easy for some to just criticize over and over.
Keep up the good work !
All those negative and critical comments really aren´t helping. You´re doing your best to cope in a difficult situation and deserve understanding and consideration, not criticism.I feel for you and hope you continue to find the strength to carry on.
You did not want this life but it is what you have and are making the best of i, illness is a @@@@@@ try and keep smiling and continue to make the best of it. I know we do not know all, but carry on as you are doing and do not be bullied into giving up what little freedom you have take what enjoyment you can out of life, it is the only one we have. One last thing do not let him put you down fight back in your own way but you do deserve respect and love and joy. Sending lots of ❤️ love. Moira
Sensible people would realise that you are an intelligent women who, I’m sure, has thought all these ideas through. You do not have to be treated as though you are a dim wit. I’m sure that most people want to be supportive and are meaning to help and give their suggestions kindly. My MiL once told me that, many, many years ago, she had packed her suitcase several times, got to the door and then thought to herself “where I can I go.”. It’s an old problem and you are quite right we have to try and make the best of things. What else can women do? I wish you all the best and send a big hug from Northern Ireland x
Well said!
Chin up, t..... etc
W
I am in a similar situation - My cousin said to me last week "just ignore him and think of him as a bad tempered lodger" x
It is too easy to say "why don't you leave?". Where to go is a big problem.
It is your blog, write what you want and people should just be respectful and show some empathy.
I wish you well and hope that you continue to write your blog.
We all have our own ways of dealing with things, what we ourselves do in our day to day lives is not necessarily what someone else would do, but if it works for us, then fine. Some people just don't realise this, some are almost insistent that we should do X or Y. Nobody is a fly on the wall so doesn't have total insight into our lives. I think you cope remarkably well, under the circumstances. And yes, if we do decide to leave as things are intolerable, where else are we supposed to go?
I do wish that you and John (Going Gently) didn't take the mean people so much to heart. I remember when you and Steve were so happy and I'm sure you do sometimes too. We can't really know the inside of anyone else's relationship and shouldn't judge. I do think you are doing the very best you can and am glad you are finding a bit of peace an happiness as you can. Best wishes, Cheryl
I know I’m a bit late, but have had a virus, better now. I agree with most here, ignore the nasties they just like to cause trouble. And Sue is right if they have read your blog they would know all this, makes me angry that they have such a bad opinion of everyone rant over. I do love to read your blog,
I'm so sorry for the situation your in.
Life has become so difficult for older people
in general.
It's shocking to hear how you can't get help for your hearing and eye site.
It's horrible in this day and age you have no where to go.
I wish we could help you.
All I can say is be glad he's going to the pub.
Encourage him to go daily. Tell him to try whiskey.
The more he's drinking in the pub the less you have to see him.
I wish you some peace.
Best wishes to you you do wonderfully in a difficult situation ,we all have our trials in life and deal with them the best we can
I hope you can find some thing that brings you joy each day a walk ,listening to music , enjoy particular food you like, a warm bath or listening to a talking book. Are you able to access a library they are usually are comfortable places that often have pleasant activities on Blessings from Marie in Horsham in Australia
Post a Comment