Funny things you hear

What with the wedding reception & other hotel guests I overheard some funny conversations at the weekend.

There was the couple sat in the bar, the man obviously drunk & was singing what sounded like some sort of Irish lament.
Wife hissing through gritted teeth, 'Will you stop singing that godawful song You always sing it when you're drunk!'
Husband, 'I'm not drunk, I just want to sing this song.
Wife 'Why this bloody song it's horrible'
Husband 'It's an Irish lament, it's part of my heritage'
Wife 'Don't talk bollocks, you're fecking Jamaican, not Irish'

At the breakfast table a couple with 4 small boys
'Mum 'But they had a good time'
Dad 'I know they did, but you told me Legoland was in Bristol!'
Mum 'But you won't travel any farther from Cardiff, so I had to lie!

Guest 1 'Is Martin coming later?'
Guest 2 'Yes & he's bringing his girlfriend'
Guest 1 'Martin has a girlfriend, wow, what does she look like?'
Guest 2 'Like him, but in a dress!'


And finally, my L&M & I were having an 'animated discussion' just before we left for the wedding on Saturday, getting annoyed with me he put his hands on his hips & demanded 'Are you taking me seriously!'. 
I turned to look at him & replied ''Not whilst you are standing there with your flies undone!'