I was awake for three hours last night, at one point I realised that my hands were so dry they were rustling.
So I reached for the pump action bottle of hand cream I keep on the bedside table.
I cupped my hand under the nozzle and pressed down on the pump.
Unfortunately I didn't put on the light so I was doing this in the light of the TV, I watched as a stream of hand cream arched away from me and on to my L&M's arm.
He immediately stirred, I immediately feigned sleep.
'Eurgh, wassat' he groaned.
I kept very quiet and lay very still.
He nudged me, 'I'm all wet' he complained.
'You mean you've wet the bed?' I asked innocently.
'NO, of course not, my arm is all sticky'
I reached out and scooped up an much hand cream as I could and rubbed my hands together.
'Maybe you had a wet dream' I suggested.
'I'm wet outside the covers and I think I'd know if I had' he grumbled.
'Well I can't feel anything wet' I replied, hurriedly rubbing the hand cream into my arm.
'You probably dreamt it' I reassured him.