'Hello, is that Hester?'
'Hi. my name is John and I'm phoning from your mobile phone provider. Today we have a very special offer, it's only for certain very good customers. Today we can offer you an extra phone, top of the range, for only an extra £5 a month. When would you like to receive the new phone?'
'I don't want an extra phone, I already have 2 phones (mine and hubby's are both in my name) and I only have 2 ears so I wouldn't be able to use a third one.'
A few moments stunned silence...........
'Ok, well how would you like both your phones upgraded to blah de blah, and all the pictures and web sites you view will be in high definition'
'My husband is blind in one eye and I have cataracts, we don't have high definition vision, so I think high definition pics would be wasted on us'
A few longer moments of stunned silence................
'I see, well we could offer you free roaming so you can make calls when you are abroad and....'
'I'm sorry, we neither of us have a passport, so we aren't likely to be going abroad'
Slightly hysterical laughter............
'Well thank you madam, enjoy the rest of your evening, goodbye'