Thursday, 23 March 2017

Performance management

The dreaded performance management has reared it's ugly head again
Every few years an attempt is made to implement something and then it dies a death.

Whichever system chosen is all stick and no carrot.
I went through hell a few years ago when we had a Head who was desperate to rid the school of all staff over 50.

I was set three objectives, all impossible, they were as follows.

1) All consumables are to be locked securely away and be easily accessible at all times to all staff!
Total bollocks as the two things are contradictory.

2) My room was to be subject to random spot checks and had to be tidy at all times.
The checks were always done after I'd left for the day! I started taking a photo on my phone every day as I left to show that I'd left the room tidy.

3) I was to show a more positive attitude.
I told my line manager that I was positive I was being shit on!

I was asked to suggest some objectives that I would like to achieve so I chose to increase my knowledge of some of the software used in the school. I was refused all training and my access to said software was blocked.

So a few years have passed and yet another system of performance management is being instigated.

We have the choice to opt in or out. If we opt in we will given 3 objectives to attain, if we exceed all three of our objectives we may be eligible for a small treat, a day off, or a box of chocolates or an even smaller pay rise. If we fail to attain our objectives we will be subject to disciplinary measures. 

If we opt out we are given 3 objectives to attain, if we exceed all three of our objectives we will not be eligible for treat or pay rise. If we fail to attain our objectives we will be subject to disciplinary measures. 

I have opted out, I'm planning on retiring in October so what's the point. I have had an email from my line manager informing me of the date for a meeting with her to discuss my objectives. I told her that my objective is to retire, but it seems we still have to decide upon my objectives. What a waste of my time and hers!



11 comments:

galant said...

It leaves one speechless, doesn't it, the ineptitude of people?
Margaret P

Sharon Koole said...

LOL love your objective! I hate these sort of things. Don't think they do a lot at all.

lynda said...

Utter BS, isn't it??? Best of luck...hard to be positive! The daily photos are a GREAT IDEA!!!

Floss said...

Can the meeting be regularly rescheduled until October?!

Hard up Hester said...

Good idea Floss, I'll suggest that!

Sheila said...

Why can't they just let people get on with their jobs? -x-

ana s. said...

We have a cartoon here called Dilbert. I think you are stuck in Dilbert World with all the incompetent managers. Sometimes Dilbert is so on the point and true that I cannot even laugh about it. Ana USA

Emmbee said...

It sounds like your workplace runs on the Peter Principle. People are promoted to their level of incompetence. All work is completed by those who have not yet been promoted to their level of incompetence.

It would appear that many major Public Service Departments ARE run according to this principle.

Joy said...

I think you should stick your fingers in your ears, close your eyes and yell "Yah, Yah, de dah dah."
Then tell whoever to get out of your way and leave you alone to get on with the real work.

Morons!

TrishWish said...

I was taught by a one-time line manager to set two of my targets as things I had already achieved (but the powers that be had not clocked on to) - it saved the bother of trying too hard! I loved that woman. EG. In community education I would have 25 partners in the community by April - when I all ready had 30+ partners I meet regularly from September. So was bound to over achieve and get the prize!

Winters End Rambler said...

Not quite sure what a moron is...but sounds as if you work for one! x