Wednesday 17 June 2020

The lost art if conversation

It's been a difficult day at times. Steve seems ok chatting to other people but not so much with me.

He rarely wears his hearing aids when he's on the boat, only when he is out and about.

I know this is because he doesn't find them comfortable but it makes me feel like he's not interested in any thing I have to say.

He tends to harangue me when I say something, he almost always disagrees with me and seem to feel his opinions are the only correct ones.

10 comments:

bbarna said...

My husband could be the same after his head injury. He has been self medicating with alcohol and it has gotten worse with the covid rules. Finally the other day I packed a bag and left. Came home the next day to an apologetic husband and we had a great discussion. If he can be personable in public , wearing hearing aids then he should respect you and do the same. I sometimes think the people that profess to love us the most, can also be the most hurtful with their behaviour. If he was a miserable with everyone, I would blame the stroke, but he is just being mean when he takes out frustration on one person.
Barb

flis said...

I know that feeling only too well and eventually I had to try to ignore the nonsense rather than interact or I felt too drained x

Margie from Toronto said...

I watched a friend of mine go through this sort of thing after her husband had brain surgery. He had always been "a bit superior" but he then got downright mean and insulting. Luckily she did have an escape as she was working and had lots of friends - it must be terrible for you being a bit more isolated now and spending the time together. I had a walk this morning with a friend whose husband has developed dementia - and there are times when he can be very short tempered with her or just ignores her - which she finds hurtful. Like you, she understands that there is a reason why - but some days hat doesn't make it any easier.

I would urge you to do as bbama suggests and just take off a bit more when you can - and just see if he appreciates you a bit more when you return.

Lanniesmum said...

I’m sorry to hear about how you are being treated by your husband. These times are difficult enough without feeling rejected. I do online mindfulness for 15 minutes each day and it certainly helps. We are feeling cooped up now after three months together at home but I just go to another room and do some sewing or reading which is difficult for you I know. Keep writing about your feelings and we are here to listen. Catriona

Sewing mamie said...

I have the opposite problem my husband never shuts up, i said to my daughter this week Victor meldrew is alive and and well and I am living with him. The only break I get is when he in the garden , and then he comes back in , I have taken to wearing a label saying don't speak to me if I am doing something tricky with knitting or sewing. Two sides of the same coin.

Chris said...

I have that with my hubby, and hes not hard of hearing! Just very annoying some times.

50 and counting said...

I share your pain. Mine won't even get his hearing aides!

He once told me he didn't listen to me as I have nothing to say he's interested in.

I probably won't retire at 65 because I will kill him if the last three weeks have been anything to go by. I've been off work due to being injured. He's been good about my pain and restrictions but golly, I'd like to have some time to my own when I don't have to defer to his superior knowledge of everything.

MargaretP said...

50 and counting......Life is not a rehearsal !!
If you are only " Chief cook and bottle washer" etc. and of no interest to him, what's the point of the partnership?

Divorced at 50

kate steeper said...

Ho hum, mine drivels on for hours about a subject he seems to get stuck ..but it is what it is and i wouldnt be without him , there are a lot of yes dear conversations...lol

Sally said...

I’m sorry to hear that you feel like that. Maybe you could write down how you feel about things for him to find? As far as not finding the hearing aids comfortable it takes time for you to get used to them. I hope you work things out together because I know you have both been through a lot. Hugs from Kent. Sally x

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