Thank you Cindy

 Just  a thank you to Cindy for her very kind and generous gift. 

I seem to have deleted your email address so thought this was the best way to let you know your beautiful and uplifting card and gift has arrived.

Thank you again for you kindness.

Shopping

The supermarket delivery is due today so Steve will be up and pacing imminently.

As soon as Steve starts to pace Beano wants to go out again, probably because he can't cope with Steve pacing and panicking. Steve prefers me to stay home until the shopping has been delivered but as I usually only order a few items I don't feel this is necessary.

This is all part of Steve's need to BE IN CONTROL! It's exhausting. 

I'm hoping to visit Cass again soon, Steve sulked after I went last time which gave me a few days peace.

All clear

Beano visited the vet again this morning, he has the all clear on his paws and also was given his yearly inoculation. I knew it was due as I'd received a reminder.

We had a long wait at the surgery as one vet was out sick and Beano got quite stressed, but eventually it was all done and we returned home. Beano has slept since we returned.

Steve huffed and puffed about the cost when I said Beano as needed his yearly jab. He then went out with Harry shortly after, yet another trip to Screwfix and breakfast afterwards.

Steve had ordered the supermarket shop whilst I was out, I added the things I wanted when I got home. I didn't need much, I ordered some more wraps as I prefer them to sliced bread, I also ordered some fruit and salad stuff, there is still plenty of chicken and fish in the freezer.

Trip to the vet.

Thursday last week Beano started chewing his paw, I couldn't see a problem but he was still doing it at the weekend so 9:30 this morning my neighbour and i I took him to the vet. We were asked to return at midday so we did.

Unfortunately there was a problem with the patient before Beano so it was 1 o'clock before he was seen. We finally got home just after 2 o'clock. I'm £144 lighter but I expected it to be worse.

Beano is snoozing on the sofa, I'm wiped out so I will also have a snooze.

We have to return on Thursday to have Beano checked over, My neighbour will drive us again.

Walking and breathing.

When I walked Beano this morning I did my breathing exercises, that way I feel calmer by the time I return home. I didn't meet any other dog walkers as I slept in and it was past 8 o'clock when I left site.

I did see a red London bus though, I'm assuming it was a private hire, it was an old Routemaster I think. 

I looked at the gardens as I walked, some are a sea of dandelions, which I love but no doubt annoys their neighbours. Others are immaculate, one puts out a bowl of water for passing dogs but Beano won't drink from it. Puddles and canal water, yes but not clean drinking water.

I went to the circus!

Yesterday Cass picked me up and we went to the circus, there were 10 of us. This included her two newest foster children aged 4 & 6 neither of whom are toilet trained and both are skinny and small for their age.

The 6 year old could only cope with the first half of the circus so Cass stayed outside, the other children went back in and I sat next to the 4 year old who bounced and clapped non-stop. Then screamed all the way home " I wanna go back! " Cass has promised another visit soon.

Who's a genius?

Not me, that's for sure but unfortunately since his stroke Steve is convinced he's brighter than most. He has purchased stuff for the flat without consulting me and then not got what he thought he'd ordered! This obviously ends up being all my fault.

Beano on the other hand is very bright, he runs rings round Steve and Steve doesn't realise.

If Beano wants a chicken treat and neither Steve or I will give him one, he asks to go outside for a wee. When he gets back Steve immediately gives him a treat on his return.

More floor.

Oh Flis, I do feel for you.

The floor is partly down, Bob arrived after lunch and helped, he would have stayed longer but Steve wanted to go to the summer house. So now we have the bathroom and the bedroom without finished flooring.

I'm hoping to go out on Friday with my daughter and her children, I'm really looking forward to it. I haven't left site apart from walking Beano for almost two weeks now.

You do you

I'll do me!

Like Sooze, I use my blog to vent, yes people can comment as they choose and I can choose to ignore their comments.

I particularly like the 'I'm a medical professional and Steve's behaviour isn't caused by his stroke'. I've met many stroke survivors and some of them behave exactly the way Steve does!

Still here, still buggering on.

I'm still trying to visit the summer house most days to see my neighbours, Steve is still following me over after a few minutes and sits glowering at me until I leave.

I've just walked Beano in the park, on Saturday's the park is full of dogs, Beano doesn't approve so we walk around the edges. The path to the park is very narrow so when we met a chap with a push chair, a bulldog and a very wet spaniel I stood between them and Beano and he watched them in silence fortunately!

Steve is about to remove the bathroom flooring yet again, it seems to be his latest hobby and is driving me mad. I'm at an age where I like to keep hydrated which means regular loo breaks. This is not permitted as walking on the floor is forbidden!

What with an antisocial dog and a difficult husband my life is not always full of joy. Therefore on dog walks that do not involve the park I find joy looking at the gardens I pass.

In the news.

I returned home from Beano's first walk this morning to find Steve in a rage. He started shouting and swearing as soon as I walked through the front door. I don't take a lot of notice, it doesn't take much to enrage Steve. This time it was an article in the daily wail about a criminal who could not be deported. Whilst I agree that foreign criminals probably should deported, I don't think the daily wail is necessarily to be believed. I also really resent being shouted and sworn at as though it was my personal decision!

Today, I read this:-

My silence doesn't mean I agree with you, it means I've been rendered speechless by your stupidity!

I have to say it was so appropriate it made me smile, I really need all the smiles I can get today.

New flooring.

The carpet in the flat is beyond disgusting, It's cream and pretty ancient. There is a black edge all around it from where it's been cleaned but the dirt has been pushed to the edges.

I suggested getting it replaced with a hard floor, much more practical with a dog.

I have some savings and would be happy to contribute towards the cost.

On his way back from his audiologist appointment Steve went to look at flooring. He arrived home and announced he's chosen the stuff we need. He wants a very dark brown vinyl not what I'd choose but it will be better than our current flooring.

When we were first together Steve was happy for me to make suggestions but now he makes all the decisions with regards to the decorating and flooring.

Oh well, it will be easier to keep clean.

Catch up.

 Flis, I'm lucky mine doesn't get up until after 10 a.m. and is often back in bed by 9 p.m.

Nelliegrace, my daughter usually keeps her foster children until they are ready to leave care. They are the ones who's parents don't want them adopted but can't look after them.

We have a get together planned here, I've donated four bottles of Prosecco, I used to like it but can no longer drink it. I will spend a few minutes socialising but not too long as I find it exhausting, struggling to follow a conversation.

A big shop!

A flying visit from Cass again. Social Services phoned her this morning. They need an emergency placement for a small boy.

Cass arrived here, we went to Lidl, ran round like loonies, she spent £400 on lots of different food, hopefully there will be stuff he likes.

Tomorrow she will take him clothes shopping that way he can choose the clothes he likes.

She has no idea how long he will stay with her for.

Someone commented that Steve is probably unhappy and should be on tranquilizers, he already is!

Bunw, Steve has had many brain scans since his stroke.

Two tins of sardines.

That's all it took to induce rage in Steve!

We placed our Tesco order this morning as we do every week. If it was up to me, I'd walk up to Aldi/Lidl at the top of the road! But then I don't buy six trays of Fosters lager every week.

I like to purchase different items occasionally, this confuses Steve. He has a very restrictive diet so buys the same things every week. He feels this is the correct way to shop, not choosing random items that catch my eye as I shop. Last time I shopped with Betty I bought a large mango and a punnet of raspberries. Both were eaten and greatly enjoyed, Steve doesn't approve. Today I've ordered two tins of sardines, they will be eaten mashed on toast or in a salad bowl.

I think Steve is always on the verge of rage, as soon as he's awake he reads the news online and instantly becomes enraged. My answer would be to not read the news, most of it doesn't affect Steve, especially the news from America, and if it does affect him/us, here is bugger all we can do about it.

All we can do is plod on, I keep a stock of basic food in along with batteries and other useful items, I can do no more and worrying won't help.