Still here!

Still buggering on.

Steve decided to buy a humongous TV it's a 50 inch, allegedly he bought it so I could watch TV but when his friend Bob did the set up he's done it without subtitles. So although I can watch the TV I can't hear what people are saying so I can't follow what's happening. Nemmind, worse things happen at sea.

The weather is getting warmer for the next few days, Beano will not be happy. He prefers the cooler weather.

I'm trying to improve my diet but mainly failing. I did make some roasted cauliflower and red pepper y'day that was delicious.

Today I'm going to cook some chicken drumsticks on a bed of green beans and cabbage. Steve is going out with one of his brothers so I will cook it then. Steve doesn't like me using the oven, he wants everything cooked in the air fryer.

Two days!

Two fecking days!

I have a Henry hoover, it's very efficient but it's heavy and as Steve insists that it must be kept on the top shelf of one of our cupboards. It's extremely inconvenient and difficult to lift from the shelf to the floor.

I've been lifting Henry down from the shelf since we moved here. This week I decided  enough was enough and I told Steve he was to lift it down. This he did for two days, he then decided that it was too inconvenient and ordered a new lightweight stick vacuum cleaner!

New clothes.

I bought a new summer dress this year, same style as my other dresses and I threw one dress away as the skirt had developed holes..

Then last week, Betty had a clear out and gifted me two more summer dresses. They are too long as Betty is considerably taller than me.

This morning, once Steve has gone out with Harry to collect his washing I shall get my good scissors out and cut a few inches of the bottom of each dress.

I'm don't think I'll be able to take them up myself but another resident may do them for me. I can but ask.

A busy week.

It's all go this week, my daughter is collecting me this morning. We will go into town, she wants her face threading and we will probably have lunch.

I've not been out with Betty for a while, she's been busy with her bowls. She has played almost every day for two weeks .

Y'day I went for a stroll with another neighbour, we are not exactly a match made in heaven. She has aphasia, she struggles to find the words, and I'm deaf and going blind. Still we had a pleasant stroll.

Another funeral.

Another resident has died, she had a stroke, she was 92.

So that's another empty flat that will need to be sold.

There are quite a few now and because they are not being updated they are difficult to sell.

We also have a couple of residents who like to keep their property on the market but expect far too much money.

Our flats are dated, there are many newer and more luxurious flats around.

Our call service is being removed, the argument is that everyone has a mobile phone so if they need assistance they can call a family member.

We only have a visiting manager a couple of times a week.

None of this bothers me, we bought this place as we could afford it and it was convenient. But many of the residents bought here because there was a live in manager and other facilities to help them.

Aargh.

Beano and I went to join some other residents in the garden this afternoon. I didn't stay long as Steve came to join us. He never joins in anything unless I'm there. I find it a bit inhibiting as I know there will be a post mortem when we return home.

Every comment mulled over and found wanting.

It's tedious.

I've shrunk.

I've always been short, 4'11 in my youth and I've shrunk as I've aged.

I met up with my oldest grandson on Thursday, he was highly amused when he realised I only came half way up his chest!

I'm also losing my sight along with my hearing. I wear hearing aids but nothing can be done about my eyesight. I had surgery but it failed, in fact it made it worse.

 I'm having to give up my kindle as I can no longer see stuff on it, so I decided to fire up my laptop to see if I can use that.

The problem with the laptop is that it's big and heavy, I can't sit with it on my knee as it soon gets too hot.

I decided to look into buying a small table, one where the legs will go under the sofa. At this point Steve decided to take over the buying decision.

He decided to fit wooden blocks to lift the sofa so the large castors on the table he chose will slide under the sofa. He did this before the table arrived and once it did arrive he realised the blocks supporting the table need to be bigger!

The second blocks have now been made and fitted, the sofa is raised up and the table slides underneath.

Steve's next job is to make a ladder so Beano and I  can access the sofa!

Thats the election done.

My children all vote, I have very strong views on voting and they probably don't feel they have a choice.

As for which party they vote for, that's up to them. I don't feel it is any of my business.

Some of them tell me, some of them don't, I don't mind either way. 

It's the voting that is important, not the who for.

I've voted

Voting is something I feel strongly about but I sometimes wonder why.

My neighbour on one side insists that Labour will win and everything will improve.

My neighbour the other side claims the Conservatives are doing well and everything will improve soon.

I don't think there will be any improvement whoever wins. The politicians are all only interested in lining their own pockets.

Changes

Our site has a new owner, the previous company decided they wanted to concentrate on their rental portfolio.

So we are now owned by a company that only deals with owned properties.

There has been much excitement amongst the residents here, many expecting a return to having a full time manager on-site. An on-site cafeteria and laundrette were also hoped for. Some were hoping to have the call system updated. One resident wanted me removed as she feels the flats should be for Christians only. The mad cat lady wants all pet owners apart from herself removed as her cat doesn't like having other pets on-site. Some people are worried that the bills will treble overnight.

Steve is again pushing to move as he believes the costs will soar.

What we have been told so far is that we will share a manager with eight other sites, the manager will visit occasionally but will not live on-site. The call system is being removed completely as most residents have a mobile phones. There will be much muttering on-site as people realise their wishes are of no interest to the new owners.

Still.

I'm still coughing, still knackered and still sleeping on the sofa.

I'm feeling ok though, no temperature so I'm past the worst.

Betty took me out y'day, the traffic was snarled up everywhere, possibly because the M4 eastbound  was shut.

This meant we didn't go far but it was nice to get out. We went to Waitrose as Betty likes their double yolked eggs. Then we had lunch at a nearby pub, it can be a bit iffy in the evenings but is ok at lunchtimes. Betty had steak and saved some for Beano, I had macaroni cheese, it was very tasty.

Next week Betty and I are attending the funeral of the resident that died.

We have seed trays full of plants adorning every flat surface. I've no idea where Steve is going to plant them there is really no room in the garden.

He told me y'day he's going with his friend to watch the BrItish Grand Prix, so that will be a peaceful weekend for me. The cost will have to come out of the savings but it will be worth it for the peace.

I'll pay for it afterwards I'm sure as he'll be in a  bad mood when he returns, I shall just ignore him.

He's just got up and discovered that he purchased the wrong bacon last time he shopped, that's today ruined for him!

How mortifying

Steve makes no secret of the fact that he thinks I'm old, fat and boring.

This doesn't really bother me, I must have very high self esteem.

I'm 72, overweight but not carrying as much extra weight as he is. I agree that I'm boring but I'm very limited now with what I can do. 

I'm  mainly polite and helpful to my neighbours but I'm limited by my deafness and failing eyesight. I'm a lot more 'on the ball' than some of my neighbours. 

I refrained from punching the neighbour who told me that it was ok for men to drive into their 80's. But that women should stop driving when the reached 60,  as they no longer had the intelligence to drive! He seemed to think that was why I no longer drive.

Steve goes into the garden most days, ostensibly to water his hanging baskets, usually about 2:30.

I sometimes go over to the summer house at 3 o'clock to socialise, this I did y'day.

After about 10 minutes Steve came over to join us. As he walked over one resident commented that he's only managed 10 minutes before joining in.

I didn't realise until I spoke to Betty afterwards that Steve never joins in with the afternoon meetings unless I'm there. It's become a bit of a standing joke with the regulars that he feels the need to mark his territory this way. He always insists on sitting next to me and I'm aware that I'm less chatty when he is there as he is very critical of my conversation.

I was feeling very mortified, partly because of Steve's behaviour and partly because I didn't notice it, but I'm not going to stop joining in because of him. Although the other residents find it amusing they don't seem to feel it is my fault.

Random ramblings.

We have another hot day here, Beano's water bowl will be kept topped up and his walks will be short and shady.

I have four large insect bites, they are on my foot, knee, chest and face. When I walked Beano just before bedtime our mad cat lady was wandering around wearing socks, trousers, an anorak, two jumpers, gloves, a hat and a headscarf. She said she didn't want to get bitten.

I slept badly last night as I kept coughing, yet again I slept on the sofa.

I heard my Oddbox arrived at 1:30 this morning. It contained carrots, peppers, aubergine, tomatoes, strawberries, cherries, apples a melon. I shall take some of it round to my neighbour later.

I have no plans today though I may give Beano a bath to cool him down. I also need to vacuum through it, I'm hoping Steve will lift Henry off the top shelf of the cupboard for me.

I know.

I know he loves me and I love him.

But it's 27 deg here.

Does Beano really need to sleep pressed up against my leg!

Still coughing

I'm still alive and still coughing I don't feel unwell, but I'm knackered from not sleeping well. I've spent the last two nights on the sofa as I cough more when I lay flat. On the sofa I sleep propped up against the arm. Also Steve is still coughing up a storm.

Today I went into town to get my hearing aids checked, I was supposed to have my ears cleared out earlier this week but despite making three separate appointments I was let down each time.

We have fish and chips this evening, one of the residents is going to collect them for us.

Lurgy

 Steve seems to have shared his lurgy with me, he greeted the fact that I snoozed on the sofa for an hour today with great glee.

He feels that if I needed a snooze then he obviously was right to stay in bed for three or four days.

He's back to pottering in the garden, he spotted a strange looking leaf in one of the hanging baskets. I thought it looked like a strawberry leaf. This suggestion was greeted with ridicule, what would a strawberry plant be doing in his hanging basket. He asked another resident for her opinion. It's a strawberry leaf she said, now I'm a genius!

He's still coughing, I suggested he wear a t-shirt in bed as it may help him cough less if he keeps his back warm .  It seems this isn't as an option as real men always sleep naked.

Hey ho, I'm going for lunch with my daughter on Friday, whoopee.

Lights!

Our lights were sorted within a couple of hours of me speaking to our site manager, fortunately.

Steve now has an upset stomach from taking too many painkillers. But he's been in the garden chatting to the neighbours. He's still convinced I should have phoned an ambulance for him.

It will be interesting to see if Steve starts drinking again today.

I need to clean the inside of my windows, I can't reach the kitchen window but I should be able to climb into the unit in the bay window and clean the ones there. I'll have to move all the trays of plants that Steve has there. I've no idea where he's going to plant them all we have no garden to speak of.

Saturday.

Steve still feels unwell, he does have a nasty cough but he doesn't have a temperature. He got up for a few hours y'day but was back in bed early. He got up today about 2 o'clock and wanted me to call an ambulance, but not until he'd eaten breakfast. He panics very easily!

It's drizzly and overcast here today, Beano's walks have had to be fitted in between the showers. He's spent most of the day curled up on his blanket on the sofa.

Lights out again!

Yet again our on-site lights have failed!

I'm up and dressed and about to visit our site manager who is due here today.

Last time this happened our manager was on holiday and the cover manager seemed to think we were all stupid. She refused to arrange for an electrician to  visit as the lights were probably ok!

I've placed my standard lamp in the corridor again as otherwise I cannot see to leave the building.

I've been advised to contact Environmental Health and will be doing so later today. 

Sick as a parrot.

Steve's not well, he thinks he caught what I've had for the past couple of weeks.

I have hayfever which I'm sure isn't contagious. Steve hasn't got a temperature so I think he probably just has a cold.I

He has gone back to bed and drawn the curtains. He went bed at 6 y'day evening and got up at 11:30 so he's been up about an hour. I took him a cup of coffee, I'm not totally heartless.

Bloody men.

My daughter's ex, is an ex for a reason, he complained endlessly when they were together. She was too fat (she's a size six), she didn't do enough housework, he didn't want to contribute to the household bills, yada, yada.  Eventually  she got fed up and they split up, he's been a PITA ever since. 

He became convinced she had someone else so he started dropping in unannounced but he was never able to catch her with anyone else.

Instead of realising that she was happy single he decided to fit a tracker to her car so he could follow her. 

When my daughter discovered the tracker she went to the police. The case is going to court!

Out of sight,

Not out of mind!

Steve is away at  a friend's wedding, he was collected this morning by the groom.

I've no idea what food was served at the reception but it won't have been to Steve's taste. Well, unless they served KFC or Mcdonalds!

This means Steve will be rat arsed as he will have eaten no food to mop up the copious amounts of Fosters he will have consumed

I was looking forward to a peaceful weekend, but it's not to be. Steve has been texting me repeatedly about a photo of a motorbike that is on his kindle from 10 years ago. I have looked but I can't find it.

I expect it's on his phone which he has with him!

I've bathed Beano and taken him for numerous walks and repeatedly looked for a 10 year old photo of a motorbike.

I'm hoping to get an early night tonight as I slept badly last night. Fortunately I no longer drive so if Steve decides he's had enough and wants to come home he'll have to manage on public transport.

Neighbours and idiots!

One of our residents popped in to see me this morning, she was very upset.

She'd put up some bunting to celebrate D Day and some bugger had complained. She asked if it was me, as she knows I'm pagan she thought I was maybe a pacifist. I assured her it wasn't me, my dad fought in the war.

She's now worried if people will complain when she puts Christmas decorations up. I've offered to help her!

We have 26 flats here and a few people think they are more entitled to their opinion than others.

Residents are allowed to complain anonymously and they do, repeatedly!

The phrase 'Get a life'  comes to mind.

This weeks fruit and veg box.

In this week's box:-

Asparagus, tomatoes, courgette, potatoes, mushrooms, orange peppers, pears, oranges and strawberries.

So lots of stuff to feed me this week. I also bought some nectarines when I was out with Betty. 

When Steve does the shopping I can ask him to buy fruit and veg for me but he really doesn't understand the need for fresh stuff. He is more likely to buy tinned or frozen.

I have bought a jar of anchovies so when I have peppers in my veg box I cut them in half, put two crossed anchovy fillets in each half along with a couple of halved cherry tomatoes. Sprinkle with some of the oil from the anchovy jar and cook until the pepper is soft.

Delicious, this was one of my fathers favourite  meals, served with crusty bread.

A trip out.

My neighbour Betty is back from her trip away and today she took me with her when she went to Waitrose.

I was so pleased to get off-site for a couple of hours.

Don't get me wrong, I like it here but Steve has started going to the get togethers in the summer house. Usually if he goes I don't as it gives me a couple of hours of peace!

Knackering.

There was a BBQ held on-site y'day for Pat's birthday.

Steve did the BBQ at Pat's request and it all went off very well.

Unfortunately I found it exhausting, not only was I up and awake from 3 a.m. it was shopping delivery day so Steve was awake and pacing from 9 a.m.

He went from panicking about the shopping to panicking about the BBQ. By the time he'd cooked the food on the BBQ I was dizzy with stress and exhaustion.

The weather stayed dry but it wasn't warm so everyone stayed in the summer house whilst Steve cooked outside. I felt it better that I stayed outside with him rather than leave him on his own. 

I have no plans today but Steve is up and about so he must have something planned.

Car park war has broken out again.

Two sets of new owners have moved in, two couples with two cars to each couple. 

As usual they have purchased their flats and believed every word the estate agent has told them.

There are thirteen parking spaces between 28 flats! 

The parking spaces are small, narrow and short, we currently have a two residents who own large 4 x 4 vehicles. There is only one space big enough for their cars, so they squabble over it.

It's not rocket science is it, there aren't enough spaces for everyone to have a car never mind two cars.

It doesn't bother us, we neither of us drive so don't own a car. I think if we had, we would have checked there was room for us to park before we purchased a flat here.

Books

Reading is one of the few pleasures I have left.

I can't see well enough to read conventional books but I use a kindle so I can enlarge the font.

I'm a voracious reader, well let's face it there isn't much else I can do.

I pay for kindle unlimited so I have plenty of free books to choose from.

A couple of days ago I paid £5.99 for a book, Skint Estate by Cash Carraway. I thoroughly enjoyed it, though parts of it were a bit harrowing.

I'm not into romances, I prefer books like the Sharpe series by Bernard Cornwell or books by Ben Aaronovitch. Sometimes I re-read all the Terry Pratchett books.

Macular traction.

 The most common macular problem is macular degeneration, this can be helped by injections.

I don't have that I have macular traction which is different.

I was told that surgery would solve the problem.

I had surgery on my eye.

The surgery failed and the surgeon mistakenly sliced my retina.

After this I refused surgery on my other eye!

No conversation.

Ellen, I'm not so much upset as seriously pissed off.

There is no therapy or help available here, I can't get a Drs appointment for love or money. All I can do is keep buggering on.

Steve is not really capable of holding a conversation for more than a few minutes. What he thinks is conversation is actually a series of rants about how crap his life is.

When we lived on the boat he had more control, if I suggested we moor near some other boats Steve would usually decide there wasn't room for us. This meant he had complete control over who I could speak to.

Here I've been able to speak to the other residents, Betty has become a friend but Steve would rather I tried to speak with the residents he prefers. Because I have problems with my hearing I tend to gravitate towards the people with loud voices. 

Out to lunch.

 Steve took me for lunch today, I had chicken served with flatbread, it was lovely, though somewhat spoilt by Steve's non-stop moaning. Fortunately it was very noisy in the pub, so I've no idea what he was moaning about.

Our neighbour Pat came round, she wants to hold a BBQ for her birthday and Steve has volunteered to cook for her. We're hoping Betty will do the salads, if not, I'll do them.

I went to the summer house this afternoon, Harry was holding forth. Like a lot of men, he loves the sound of his own voice. Sometimes it's good to be deaf. I didn't stay long, I go for conversation but there was none. Just Harry lecturing everyone about something he knows nothing about.

I've developed a small black spot on my eye, or I should probably say a small blank spot. It's making it difficult to read and reading is all I have left.

Steve is listening to music and getting rat arsed, deep joy! 

General election

I shall vote, I feel it is important but I think politicians are a wunch of bankers.

Fruit and veg box

 This is what was in my box today.

Carrots, cabbage, spinach, avocado, apples, oranges and a huge beefsteak tomato.

I've already eaten an Apple and made coleslaw with some of the cabbage and carrots.

I'm having a chicken pie this evening, I shall have some of spinach with it. 

Tomorrow I shall stuff the huge tomato and eat that.

I have nectarines and strawberries due on Friday from Tesco.

Lucky.

The on going tainted blood scandal rumbles on.

I received a blood transfusion at around that time, I was lucky, mine wasn't tainted.

It did mean that I had to lie about it for years afterwards whenever I applied for a mortgage.

I had to lie and claim that I'd never received a blood transfusion.

Fortunately my first mother in law never knew about my transfusion, if she had she'd have told everyone I had Aids.

She was a bundle of fun!

In my day.

I've noticed some people are posting about their nonasthetic lifestyle.

I gather this means you are untidy and don't have a life where everything matches. You live a life where things aren't beautiful.

I need to adopt this term, nothing in my flat matches and I don't care!

When my children were small I never could stand the competitive mothers and I intentionally stepped back from them. 

I couldn't stand the constant boasting, the "my child is learning the piano and is going to be a concert pianist" or the "my child is reading at two years old and is going to be the next Einstein".

Shopping

We have our shopping delivered on Friday,  between 10 a.m. and 11 a.m.

I've been doing my shopping online for many years now.

But I'm no longer to be trusted to do this as I was spending too much money so Steve has taken over.

I'm not bothered as I can walk to Aldi or Lidl if I want anything.

I also prefer fresh fruit and vegetables which is why I now get a box delivered every week.

The shopping is, in fact, more expensive as Steve prefers to buy 'named brands' but that is his choice.

He is currently not speaking to me and has gone into town in a strop, to the pub.

My sin was to snap at him, something I rarely do. 

Before the shopping arrives Steve likes to pace, he checks the time continually and paces between our flat and the car park. He can spend easily half an hour doing this.

Once the shopping is here Steve starts to move it into the flat. If I help by moving some of the shopping, he complains because I'm getting in his way when he is sorting the shopping. Other times he complains because I'm not helping him.

Often I walk Beano when the shopping arrives just to get out the way.

Today I noticed that I still had part of last week's loaf left, so I put this week's in the freezer.

Ye gods, you'd have thought I was packing live babies into the freezer.

Steve went into a full blown panic, I lost my temper and told him to shut up and stop moaning.

Bloody men

I got up this morning and staggered to the bathroom, when I opened the bathroom cabinet I was met by the sight of many busy little ants running around.

I was not best pleased and wondered how the ants has gained access to the cabinet as there are two external doors, a long corridor and an internal door between the cabinet and the outside world.

Once up, breakfasted and dressed I solved the conundrum. My neighbour Harry has a bucket of raspberry canes on his doorstep. These have been dug up from somewhere for him, complete with ants.

I doubt if Harry has the strength or energy to plant these and he will be hoping Steve will plant them for him. Today he is out of luck as Steve has an appointment to get his hearing aids checked.

I hope Harry can be persuaded to put the canes outside until such time as someone is able to plant them for him!

Doctors.

My surgery is struggling to recruit Drs, they currently have two very part time Drs covering two different surgeries that are some miles apart.

There is a long wait for appointments, that's if the reception team think you need an appointment.

I've been before with gout so I have been diagnosed by a Dr.

My attacks of gout only tend to last a couple of weeks and by the time I get an appointment the attack will be over.

Worse almost than the pain of the gout is the accompanying earache. Steve complains non-stop if I have anything wrong with me. I never mention if I'm unwell but my difficult walking is a bit of a giveaway.

Steve has a painful knee, he claims it is red and swollen though it doesn't look that way. It gives him an excuse to chew Nurofen plus by the packet.

Rose Chafer

I've just taken Beano for a walk, whilst we were out a Rose Chafer landed in my hair. I didn't notice it at first, I assumed it was a leaf. When I went to move it I realised it was alive and picked it out of my hair and placed it on a nearby plant. They are beautiful beetles, quite large with iridescent greeny bronze wings.

Beano was decidedly unimpressed and took to his heels, he's a bit of a wuss really.

I vacuumed through today, I don't think I did a very good job as I really can't see what I'm doing. I still l need to give the kitchen a bit of a blitz but it can wait until my foot has stopped throbbing.

Gout

Oh bugger, I've got an attack of gout! 

It's bloody painful and slows me down a lot, it takes ages to walk Beano every day.

I've been taking painkillers occasionally but they have little effect and make me feel nauseous.

Steve has helped by complaining non-stop and telling me to go the the Drs. I don't see any point, the Dr diagnosed it some years ago. I don't know what causes it to flare up.

I need to vacuum through but can't face it when I'm in so much pain , I will have to wait until the pain subsides.

It's not a long boat!

I recently got a new book via kindle unlimited, it is a godsend to me as I read a lot of books. I can't hear well enough to listen to the radio and I can't see the TV so books are my lifeline.

The book was about a murder on the canal system. On the very first page of the novel a narrow boat was referred to as a long boat. I didn't read anymore and deleted the book. I don't expect anyone to be an expert on everything but for heaven's sake do some research! 

A long boat is what the Vikings used, the boats on the canals are called narrow boats!

Lunch out

Betty and I went shopping today, I didn't buy anything but I was happy to wander around the shops with her. Betty was buying gifts for an event she's organising.

We had lunch out, fish and chips, very nice it was too.

We came home, I took Beano out for a walk, Steve said he'd already walked him but Beano was happy to go out.

Then I went to the summer house which Beano always enjoys.

I was back indoors just after 4 p.m. and Steve was in a chatty mood. Unfortunately he soon went from chatty to whinge mode. He hates it here, he hates the other owners, on and on.

Eventually I told him I'd be happy to put the flat on the market and we could split the proceeds. I told him I'd move in with my daughter and he could move wherever he wanted to.

There was silence for about 30 minutes, he then announced that he only had about four years to live so it wasn't worth him moving.

Best off in my pocket.

I received an email from my solicitor saying they owed us £200. Money retained from when we purchased our flat.

I've had it paid into my account, I'm trying to build up some savings towards Beano's next vet bill.

I'm making savings where I can and trying to live on my pension. We have money in savings  but Steve is working his way through them.

We don't have a mortgage as we paid cash for our flat.

Currently this is where my money goes per month.

£358 my share of the bills for the flat.

£50 fruit and veg box.

£6 at the pet shop for Beano.

£50 trips out with Betty.

£8.99 Amazon Prime plus any purchases made.

£12. Mobile phone bill.

Hearing aids.

Steve's current rant du jour is hearing aids. His are national health and free. He only wears them when he goes out, never indoors, he complains ceaselessly about how painful they are and how useless. 

I pay for mine, the first pair, from Specsavers, weren't as good as they claimed and the aftercare was appalling. My current pair are from Boots, Jennie took me last week to get them checked out. They are now back to working properly. I wear them all day, every day, they are not uncomfortable, in fact I sometimes forget I'm wearing them. I have been known to get into bed with them still in my ears. I have another year of free updates and adjustments, as my hearing is still deteriorating I may then need to buy replacements, I'm saving money in case this happens. We have quite a lot of money in savings but Steve feels that paying for my hearing aids would eat into our savings and that I need to go back to national health aids.

Weather

I've always been of the opinion that there is no such thing as bad weather, just the wrong clothes.

I have to say I'm currently revising this, it's bitterly cold here today and damp with an icy wind. I'm still walking Beano with coat, hat and gloves.

Even Beano didn't want to go far on his morning walk. We met a lady with a lovely grey staffy pup, I've no idea if it was male or female. I assumed male as Beano started to grumble. I couldn't resist having a stroke.

We're now home and I'm having a second breakfast of a banana and a mug of mint tea. I have mint growing by my door so it's easy to pick a few sprigs as I walk in.

Betty and I shopped y'day, she is catering for a visiting bowls team this weekend. After shopping we stopped at the nearby Toby Carvery for lunch, I had turkey, Betty had pork. No dessert so it was £6.50 each, very reasonable. Steve was meeting Bob so Beano was home alone for an hour he was pleased to see me when I returned. Steve didn't get home until around 7 and was in bed and asleep before 9.

Walking with a list on.

Y'day I had to take my stick to lean on when I went out, today I don't need my stick but I can't walk in a straight line.

Nemmind, I'm walking faster again.

My balance is off, and I'm dizzy, it's my ears that are the problem. I had them checked out years ago and these attacks don't last as long as they used to. They used to last a couple of weeks but now only a couple of days. When I was working, bending over to sort out the copier jams was difficult when I felt dizzy.

I was walking Beano, waiting to cross the road to head home. A car stopped to let me across, I realised after a few moments it was my daughter, she lives at the opposite end of the village. I lurched across the road with Beano and when I got to the other side, stopped and waved to DD and noticed dgd, Maggie was in the car too.

This weeks veg box.

 

Another nice selection of fruit and veg for this week, I'll share it with Betty again.

Not a good day!

I had to admit to Steve that I'm struggling with my eyesight and my hearing. He is extremely annoyed though I'm not sure what he expects me to do about it!

He was out this morning, he  ordered some stuff from B&Q, he got what he ordered but it wasn't what he wanted. So off he went with Harry to swap it out for what he did want.

I didn't go to the summer house this afternoon, there seems little point if I can't hear what people are saying and I can no longer see well enough to lip read.

Roll on Thursday hopefully my hearing aids can be sorted.

A nosedive.

I'm struggling at present, my sight has taken another nosedive. Hopefully I'll adjust to it soon. Unfortunately it's coincided with my hearing aid developing a fault. I have an appointment on Thursday to get my aids sorted

Yesterday I bottomed out the kitchen, today it's the turn of the bathroom. I probably don't do a very good job but it will have to do. Steve will mostly empty the bins but that's about his limit. I'd quite like to get a cleaner in but can't afford one. I could cancel my veg box but I'm really enjoying eating fresh veg and fruit. As Steve does all the shopping I don't always get what I want. Steve will often by tinned or frozen fruit instead of fresh. He can't see the point of veg!

Pavement special

On one of  yesterday's dog walks I stopped to talk to a South African lady. She has three small children and a small black dog.

She asked me what breed Beano is. I explained that he was a mixed breed but that I wasn't sure what mix.

I told her that I used to refer to him as a mongrel but had been told that was no longer acceptable.

She said that in South Africa such dogs are referred to as Pavement Specials, which made me laugh.

Beano goes to the vet.

My neighbour Harry very kindly gave Beano and I a lift to the vets  this morning.

Beano's dew claws were very overgrown. Time was I'd have clipped them myself but I can no longer see to do them.

I can't say I was looking forward to the bill, I spent about £1000 on Beano when he had viral gastroenteritis.

Beano was booked in with one of the nurses but ended up seeing the vet as the nurse didn't feel able to proceed without help. I explained that I was happy for him to be muzzled even though I thought it was unlikely he'd bite.

Beano was offered antibiotics as he bled when the claws were clipped but I explained that he wouldn't take them.

To my absolute amazement there was no charge. Usually the vet seems to charge for breathing the air in the waiting room.

There have been mutterings in the media about the large vet groups basically price fixing. Obviously the vets have taken heed.

His dew claws have been trimmed and he seems a lot more comfortable now.

Wednesday

My Oddbox arrived this morning and I've shared it with Betty, in it there were potatoes, onions, spinach, aubergine, a huge cauliflower and some apples and oranges. 

Steve had an audiologist appointment this morning, I went into town with my daughter. 

She had her face threaded whilst Beano and I wandered about. It was bitterly cold so we kept moving. Hopefully when the weather is better we can have lunch out.

I went to the summer house for the quiz when I got home, I nearly didn't bother as I was knackered but I made the effort. I only stayed for the quiz and gave Betty her share of the Oddbox.

I'm desperate for a good night's sleep, Beano is waking me up twice a night. He doesn't want to go out, he just seems to want company.

It's been rough.

We've had a few difficult days. The weather has been nice and sunny though not particularly warm.

I'm not sure what triggered Steve but he was truly unpleasant on Saturday, it may have been because I didn't provide any food for him. 

It may have been because I told him I wasn't prepared to go to his friends forthcoming wedding, he's still cogitating on that information. I explained that being unable to hear, made large gatherings difficult. I didn't mention my dislike of being left at a table with people I don't know and can't hear for hours on end, or of struggling to get a rat arsed husband to bed in a hotel room. 

My oldest son is getting married at some point and if I'm invited I would like to go to that. There would be family members around who would help me.

Today I've done a machine load of washing, walked the dog  and will vacuum round, such excitement!

Trouble at the big house!

Not long after we moved here we had a visit from a man, Mike, who worked for the housing association. He was condescending and patronising and when Steve mentioned he was thinking of moving one of the kitchen cupboards Mike insisted that this was not allowed. I asked why, since we owned the flat and no response was forthcoming.

Having spoken to other residents it seems that Mike, along with other staff can't grasp the concept that we own our flats. They are used to dealing with tenants and love to instigate many petty rules. Most of which are designed to make the residents lives miserable.

One of our residents,  when complaining about a faulty doorstep. (Caused by poor workmanship by a company chosen by the HA) was told to be grateful she wasn't living in the Ukraine!

The resident of the top flat decided to have the shower removed and have a bath fitted instead. This all went ahead successfully until the resident realised that the water tank was not sufficient to fill the bath. At this point our manager was on holiday, the cover manager realised that changes were being made. The resident was informed that she wasn't allowed to change her water tank. The cover manager was so rude to the plumber he downed tools and refused to return. The resident was left for weeks without sufficient hot water to fill her bath.

Lets put this to bed.

Answers to some questions.

Why does Steve have access to my Amazon account?

We have Amazon prime, it's a family account, a few of us use it, I just need him to remember to tell me when he's buying something.

Why don't I leave? 

Where would I go? In an emergency either of my daughter's would take me in for a couple of days but not permanently. Neither of them have room for me they both have more children than bedrooms. My son's are both in rented accommodation where no dogs are allowed so what would I do with Beano? When we first left the boat, Steve wanted to rent somewhere. As we couldn't provide proof of any previous rental history we had to pay £2000 pcm for an air bnb. I wanted to buy a property for security. Steve still wanted to rent but soon realised that there was a huge waiting list in this area for sheltered rental property. We purchased this property after six months of paying £2000 a month. If we sold this place Steve would be entitled to 50%. This wouldn't leave me enough to buy anywhere else. The rental market here is still desperately short of sheltered properties. Most also don't allow pets. I like living here, there are some nice people and some that are a PITA, those I avoid!

Why don't I make Steve go to the Drs?

We have two part time Drs covering two surgeries, each surgery has a Dr on site for one or two mornings a week. We can't change surgeries as the only two nearby aren't taking on new patients. If we make an appointment it is cancelled or changed repeatedly. Also Steve doesn't feel the need to visit the Dr, so how am I supposed to force him to attend? In Steve's world he is fine, it's everyone else who has a problem.

I'm just living my life the best way I can, I struggle with being deaf and losing my sight but try to make the best of things. If you don't like my blog then don't read it.

What a fibber

Steve has been making much of the fact that he's buying much less lager than usual. He's still buying 2 to 4 trays a week, but not the six he usually buys.

I've been less than impressed as he's going to a pub 4 or 5 days a week.

A couple of days ago I went for a snooze as I wasn't feeling too good.

I didn't get much sleep as Steve was wandering in and out the room.

As I lay there I noticed Steve going out the flat, he was only gone a few minutes so I realised he's gone to the cupboard at the end of the corridor.

He soon  returned carrying a tray of lager, he's not buying less, he's just storing it outside the flat!

New wardrobe.

 I have sex!

Sorry, let me retype that.

I have socks!

Until I got my new wardrobe all my underwear, nightware and t-shirts were crammed together in one small drawer.

Now I have my new wardrobe, complete with two drawers (though only one works) a hanging rail and five shelves, I've been able to sort my clothes out. 

This has meant I've been able to find all six pairs of socks that I own, instead of struggling to manage with two pairs and occasional bare feet.

Lost dog.

Last night around 10 p.m. I let Beano out for his last widdle. All of a sudden there was a noise that scared Beano. 

He took off like the hounds of hell were after him, he ran up the path and off site.

I chased after him but I was too slow, couldn't see which way he'd gone.

I searched the nearby roads, calling him but no joy, eventually I went back to the flat to put my shoes on and to check he hadn't doubled back in me.

As I left the flat to continue my search Beano came barreling down the path towards me.

I was so relieved to see him! Steve got out of bed to tell me I wasn't to shout at Beano, I wasn't, and I don't. I just made a huge fuss of him and after an hour I took him out again. This time on his lead!

New wardrobe

Allegedly my new wardrobe will be here tomorrow between 7 a.m.and 11 a.m.

I shan't hold my breath!

I'm going to bowls club tomorrow for lunch, I'm not intending to play as I can't see well enough.

Tip run.

Harry has taken Steve to the tip, Harry had a shower tray to dispose of and Steve has taken my old wardrobe.

They will then go to Morrison's for breakfast.

I need to make an appointment at the vet for Beano, to get his dew claws trimmed, they are very overgrown. I've asked Harry if he'd be able to give me a lift a and he has agreed.

It's chilly and breezy here, Beano has had two walks, during both of which, we were blown along the road.

Keeping secrets

I have two secrets I'm keeping from Steve.

Firstly I can hardly see out of my left eye, I knew it would happen, I've been expecting it. I haven't told Steve because he will immediately launch into a tirade about how much worse his eyesight is than mine. It's not a bloody competition but he will be very aggrieved if he realises my eyesight is worse than his.

Secondly, my trips out with Betty are coming to an end. Her bowls club has restarted and she plays daily. I knew it was coming but I've also kept this a secret from Steve, I know he will be over the moon. I will find his smug satisfaction hard to cope with.

I'm thinking of a walking to Lidl to buy fresh rolls today, I'll check with my neighbours to see if anyone else wants any.

Peace and quiet.

Steve's gone in to town so I've had a peaceful day, I'm not expecting him back until 6 ish.

One of the residents is going for fish and chips tonight, I had money on me when it was discussed so I was able to be included.

I need to get some more cash out the bank soon.

Life is quiet and boring again now, Betty's bowls club has restarted so there will be very few trips out, if any. Nemmind it was lovely while it lasted.

New wardrobe

My new wardrobe was due today sometime between 8 and 3.

Steve got up at just after 8 o'clock and moved furniture around to accommodate the new wardrobe.

At 10:30 I received an email telling me it would not now be delivered!

Things are a little tetchy  here!

Cold and damp today.

Another cold damp day here, Beano didn't want to walk far as he hates the rain.

I've decided to empty the airing cupboard and re-fold all the towels, it will only take me ten minutes as there are only two shelves.

I'm not sure what else to I shall do, probably read for a while.

I haven't told Steve that Betty's bowls club is restarting next week. This means she'll be too busy to take me out weekly as she plays everyday. Steve is racking his brains to think of things to fill in on his white board. 

Smelly wardrobe.

The smelly wardrobe was here when we moved in, along with a chest of drawers and two bedside tables.

These items were left by the previous resident and as we'd been living on a boat for six years we had no furniture of our own.

We purchased a brand new bed and two units for the living room. We also bought a small dining table and four chairs.

We bought a sofa, an armchair and a nest of tables second hand.

This is all we have and all we need.

Whilst I was out having coffee with Betty and Harry y'day, Steve took the doors off my wardrobe ready to dismantle the rest of it the day before the new wardrobe arrives.

When I got home Steve explained that he expected me to keep all my clothes in the new wardrobe. I was puzzled and asked what clothes? It seems I have a large collection of clothes that I am unaware of. I explained that these were all my clothes but Steve doesn't believe me. He doesn't want to argue about it but he isn't prepared to keep sharing his wardrobe with me once my new wardrobe has arrived. 

I've let it go for now, but if he starts on the subject again I will ask him to show me this large collection of clothes that I am unaware of!

Jittery

 I've just got back from having coffee with Betty and Harry, we went to a cafe near Asda. Unfortunately I forgot to specify decaf coffee, so now I'm jittery.

We also went into Asda, I bought stock cubes, two bananas and a red pepper. Betty has given me some cooked lamb mince to fill the pepper with.

I will put it in the fridge as Steve has decided to have a Chinese takeaway for this evening's meal. I  will eat the stuffed pepper tomorrow.

Steve has taken the doors off the old wardrobe in preparation for the new one arriving. Unfortunately this means the bedroom stinks of smelly feet. 

Oh well, this too shall pass!

Why would you do that?

 I once worked in a small office that had a strange promotion system.

The "office manager" was the longest serving staff member, it seemed to me to be a very strange system and it eventually fell apart when two people who started on the same day couldn't both be promoted.

This meant that an office manager was recruited externally, that's when the brown stuff really hit the fan.

The new manager started and soon after found a discrepancy in the paperwork.

It seems someone had lied on their C.V. about their qualifications.

The new manager interviewed all the staff in turn and had asked for proof of their qualifications.

We are talking about GCSE's here, not anything more technical

When she got to me and asked I told her that I had no GCSE's and as they hadn't been a prerequisite of employment, she accepted this but seemed confused.

Over the next few days I discovered that all ten members of staff had claimed O or A levels they either hadn't taken or hadn't passed.

As the staff were all in their 40's and qualifications were not required, I really couldn't understand why they would lie.

Getting cloudy.

The weather here is improving slightly, today is been sunny and mild.

My cataract, in my left eye is getting thicker and my vision is cloudy.

Surgery is not an option, it has been tried and failed.

My right eye is clearer but my vision is distorted.

Ah well, I shall keep buggering on for now.

New neighbours.

A couple of days ago I met the couple who have purchased one of the flats here.

The flat is over two floors, has two bedrooms, two bathrooms and is in the listed part of the complex so has large, single glazed windows. The flat is also in need of a complete makeover as the previous resident was 102 and housebound, she moved in to an old people's home a few months ago.

Steve has said a few times that we should have purchased that flat instead of the one we did buy. It wasn't for sale when we were looking and anyway I didn't want anywhere with stairs as I find them difficult. Steve feels our flat isn't impressive enough though I've no idea who he wants to impress!

The new couple are both tall, slim and from South Africa, they have a small friendly Shih Tzu. They were in the car park as I returned from walking Beano and he was very keen to say hello.

I mentioned them to Steve when I got home and he was very pleased, he explained that I needed to make friends with the wife and stop going out with Betty. 

He's set me a list of tasks to ensure they like me, including asking if they'd like to come on a dog walk with me. I really wonder what planet he's on sometimes.

I'll admit I'm not good at making friends, mainly because of my deafness. Fortunately it will be 4 or 5 months before the new people move in.

Our mad cat lady is up in arms at the thought of another dog moving in, she claims her cat is already being terrorised by Beano and she's not sure the cat will cope with another dog in the building!

Wardrobe

We have a wardrobe in the bedroom that was left by the previous resident. It is perfectly sound but it smells of stinky feet.

I've tried every remedy I can think of and some I've googled but still it stinks.

The knock-on effect is that my clothes also smell of stinky feet!

I told Steve I was going to save for a new wardrobe over the next few months. I'd be happy with  second hand.

To start with Steve suggested that is was my clothes that were making the wardrobe smell, I explained that it isn't but he's not convinced.

We've been in the flat over a year now so I feel I've been patient long enough.

I'd be happy with a second-hand wardrobe from a charity shop but I know Steve wouldn't like that and I don't care enough to argue.

Steve then announced he'd transfer the money from the savings to pay for a new wardrobe.

All was going swimmingly until Steve decided he didn't like the way I was repeatedly saying "er er er". 

As I wasn't  saying anything, I suggested he put his hearing aids in!

A few moments later my phone pinged, it was a text message, my bank account was nearly in the red.

Cue much shouting from Steve, I asked if he'd ordered a  wardrobe and yes he had. From Amazon which is paid from my account. Had he done the transfer? No!

Steve was adamant that the money couldn't have been taken from my account already.

I left the flat with Beano and went for a walk.I

My new wardrobe will be here on 4th April.

Beano is a grumpy old man.

We have two cockerpoos and a maltipoo living near us, both the cockerpoo are male, black and mad, the maltipoo is female, beige and slightly calmer.

Beano likes them all and long as they accept that he doesn't want to play he is fine. One of the cockerpoos still acts like a puppy and bounces around Beano, trying to get a reaction.

Beano grumbles and complains but eventually today he did play with Denzil. They ran around the field, chasing each other until Beano was tired. When we got home Beano slept for a couple of hours, worn out by his exertions.

What a night!

Beano woke me up three times last night and I couldn't work out why.

Until that is, at 6:30 I went into the kitchen to put the kettle on and realised Steve had left two slices of roast beef on a plate on the work surface!

Once this was in the fridge Beano settled down and went to sleep.

I, on the other hand was wide awake and pottered around until Betty messaged me to see if I'd go with her to take Harry to the hospital for a scan. I agreed and off we went, Betty and I had lunch in the Costa while we waited for Harry, we get to do it all again on Wednesday. Harry has waited six to eight months for these appointments.

Margie we have more chance of winning the lottery ticket than getting any sort of medical appointment.

Kate, we are both in the same boat aren't we, as you say there is bugger all help available.

To the unknown who suggested I go bowling, you must have missed the posts about me going blind!

RunNRose, I will stop posting when I can no longer see well enough, until then, this is my outlet.

Let it go.

Keep calm and carry on.

I know everyone has their own opinion on what I should do but I write this blog to get stuff off my chest.

The longer this situation continues the worse Steve gets, he is becoming more and more confused and when confused he gets irritable. If I threw him out he couldn't cope, I'd be very happy if he left of his own accord but he is unlikely to do that. He has little understanding of how his behaviour affects me or other people. 

Y'day our Tesco shopping was delivered, I try to walk Beano at this time but the shopping arrived early. Steve was already pacing between the flat and the car park, getting stressed. When the van arrived Steve hurried back to the flat. I never know what I'm to do if I'm still home when the shopping arrives, sometimes I'm expected to help and Steve shouts of I don't help. Sometimes I'm expected to sit on the sofa out of the way, either way I can expect a bollocking!

On Wednesday I went to Lidl to buy some bread rolls, Steve wasn't well so he didn't feel well enough to go himself. That said he did give me detailed instructions on how to get to Lidl.

I did explain that I knew where Lidl's was but it seems I was wrong. Steve insisted that Lidl's had moved.

It hasn't, I'm not sure what causes his confusion but I just nod and agree with him, there is no point in arguing.

An ex work colleague of Steve's is in hospital in Devon. Steve is thinking of visiting him, I hope he doesn't, he's dreadful in hospitals. I think his ex colleague is unlikely to survive from what we've been told but Steve hasn't grasped this yet.

I'm out with Betty today, I don't know where we are going and I don't much care, it's just so nice to go out.I

in four weeks time, Betty's bowls season starts and then I don't expect to go out with her very often but for now I will enjoy every moment.

Seething.

Steve isn't happy here, he makes no secret of it. I've suggested various solutions but he's rather stay here and complain than move.

He has now exhausted the sympathy of most of the other residents and is finding it difficult to find someone to sympathise with him.

He has now reached out to some boater friends telling them how unhappy he is and how unkind I am.

The lady has emailed me remonstrating with me for my unkindness towards Steve! Her email explains that she whilst she is glad I have made friends and understands my need to go out. To go out every day, leaving Steve in the flat to look after Beano is unfair. She also feels I need to share the visits to coffee meetings in the summer house rather than attending alone and again leaving Steve in the flat with Beano!

I have not yet replied.

I may never reply!

Steve's not well,

He's been very pale for the last few days.

He's spent the day in bed as he feels dizzy.

I have provided cups of tea and fresh water.

Hopefully he will feel better tomorrow.

Suggestions

Thanks for the suggestions but Steve won't eat the beef now what ever I do to it. There is far too much for me to eat, it would take me a month of Sunday's.

My face is no longer sore, I think it could have been stress hives, living with Steve means my life is full of stress. I know he hates me going out and mixing with the neighbours but I spent six years in isolation when we were on the boat and that was enough!

Steve is going into town today, it gives him an excuse to start drinking earlier than when he's home.

Beano is still a little under the weather, but it could be his age, he's eating normally, he's just not walking as far as he used to.

Lunch club today, another thing Steve hates me doing, I'm making a fruit pie today. I need to think of some more puddings as I'm tending to do the same few on repeat. I'm limited by one member of the lunch club who is allergic to milk. If I make a pudding with milk I have to make an alternative as well. Another member won't eat cake so nothing with a sponge topping.

Feeling stressed.

I'm worried about Beano, his nose is warm and dry and he hasn't wanted to go out for his usual walks today.

My face is sore it feels like it's been sandpapered, it's from my cheek bone up to my temple and very irritating.

Steve tried to cook a beef joint for Sunday lunch y'day, for some reason he cannot grasp the cooking instructions on the wrapper. He cooked it for hours as he thinks any meat juices mean it's not cooked. He finally took it out the oven at 9:30, by which time it was dried out.  He then went to bed in a strop. I've tried to explain to him how to cook but he takes no notice as he believes I'm too stupid to cook.

I'm now left with a large quantity of dry roast beef that Steve has sliced up. It's so wasteful, it was an expensive piece of beef, big enough to serve 6-8.

He cooked a chicken thigh for Beano too, in the air fryer, this too was cooked until it was hard and dry.

I'm living on cheese and pickle sandwiches as I can't eat beef that is like concrete.

Why I don't declutter

I've read a few posts from people who are decluttering.

This is something I don't do anymore, because I no longer have any clutter!

I had a big declutter when we moved on to the boat and I since then I've gradually disposed of more "stuff".

I can't see well enough to do any crafts, so my craft stuff has gone, mainly to my teenage granddaughter who is an avid crafter.

I got rid of my books when I could no longer see to read them, I bought a kindle and I can enlarge the print so I can still read.

There is still "stuff" in the flat but it isn't mine. I still have the minimum of clothes. I was buying new leggings regularly but I then bought Snag leggings and they don't wear out like the supermarket ones.

I'm still wearing the tops I bought before I retired, though I did buy a new one a few weeks ago from  Bon Marche. I threw away a top that had a burn mark on the hem.

I will need to buy some new socks soon as mine are wearing thin on the heels.

The weather is warming up so I will swap my tops and leggings for my four summer dresses.

I did throw away my old slippers and bought a new pair.

I hope the economy isn't dependant on my, if it is we are in deep dodah.

Hissing Sid

Sunday morning, Steve's not wearing his hearing aids so he's hissing as plays on his kindle.

He got up at 11 had a shower and his breakfast, at 11:45 he asked what time we were going out. I said " just before three I expect ".

Steve immediately started ranting, he needs to know exactly what time!

We live five minutes from the pub and the table is booked for three. 

Surely it's not rocket science to work out is it.

Pet insurance.

I've just received the final bill from the vets.

They want another £49.34 on top of the £500 plus I have  already paid. 

I've paid in excess of £2500 premiums in the years I've had Beano.

The insurance company don't want to cough up

This is the first time I've claimed in the six years we've had him.

I've cancelled the insurance and I'm paying the same amount into a separate savings account from now on.

Finally!

I have six grandchildren that are blood relatives and none of them look like me.

That is until now.

One of my grandsons has green eyes that are just like mine in colour and shape.

I was in the delivery room when he was born and I held him first as his sister had already arrived and was in her daddy's arms.

No talking

I don't often talk to Steve, he refuses to wear his hearing aids as he doesn't think he needs them and he isn't interested in anything I may have to say.

If I do speak to him he makes a huge production of putting in his hearing aids, accompanied by much huffing and puffing. Obviously it is necessary to make me understand how much of an inconvenience I am.

He is greatly aggrieved with me going out with Betty, he feels I should stay in the flat apart from when I walk Beano.

He claims he worries when I go out, but he isn't worried enough to walk Beano with me even though he knows I have difficulty crossing the road.

Today Betty and I went to a local garden centre for lunch, jacket potato with tuna mayo from Dobies this time and then on to Asda for some shopping. I bought some grapes, no clothes for me, Betty bought some trousers. I'm out again tomorrow with my daughter,  Beano is coming with me.

I miss my husband.

I miss the cuddles and the sex, I miss not being able to walk past him without him copping a feel.

I miss his dreadful jokes and I miss him waffling on about the Grand Prix for hours.

I miss him pointing out places he'd worked and jobs he'd done.

I miss him pointing out ladies wearing shoes he liked.

That's all gone now, he sits in his chair and glowers out the window, endlessly complaining about the weather, the neighbours, the garden.

Sometimes like today he goes into town and spends the day drinking in a pub.

Money, money, money.

My pension was paid into my bank today, I immediately transferred £200 into my savings account. I need to start building up my savings as they were wiped out paying for Beano's treatment. The insurance company have paid up but not the full amount.

I shall carry on paying for Beano's insurance for a while but once my savings are topped up I will cancel it.

Depending on other expenses during this month, if there is anything left at the end of the month that too will be transferred to my savings account. I also draw cash out of the bank regularly and keep a stash hidden in the flat.

We don't have a mortgage to pay as we bought our flat outright, the other bills are for electric, council tax and food etc. There is no gas supply to the flats. I play £226 which is to the HA which covers things like the gardeners, outside lights etc.

Steve pays for the electric, council tax and the shopping, our food bill is high because Steve will eat only junk food and he drinks a lot. 

I'm spending more than I used to because I'm going out with Betty every week and we have lunch out and take it in turns to pay. I buy food for the lunches we have in the summer house on Tuesdays. I also buy stuff for Beano at the nearby pet shop.

Wet and windy here today.

So I'm having problems trying to persuade Beano to go out.

We have a Tesco delivery today, I wonder whether Steve will complain that I'm interfering if I try to put some of the stuff away. Or will he complain that I don't help if I sit on the sofa and ignore the delivery.

That he will complain is a given!

Sometimes I feel like setting up a recorder just so I could playback the hours of complaining and whinging he does on a daily basis.

Actually I managed to upset Steve before the shopping arrived.

Beano's vet bill came to around £800 which wiped out my savings. Then Steve decided to update his wardrobe and purchased items from Amazon. All purchases from Amazon come out of my bank account and I went in the red. Cue much wailing and gnashing of teeth from Steve.

I told him he'd need to transfer money from the savings to my account, this he has now done but the fuss he made was ridiculous. I was overdrawn by £23! My pension goes in this weekend and then I'll be in the black again!

Replies

Annabeth, our surgery has one part time Dr on two mornings a week so I have little chance of getting an appointment.

Donna, I copied in the managers boss when I sent the email so she must be aware. I believe they are just generally disinterested.