Face ache

I have sinusitis, it's not too bad so far but it is making me dizzy, hopefully it will wear off soon.

My L&M has a telephone assessment later in the week with regards to his CBT, he also has a 24 hour ECG this week as well. I just hope he starts to feel better soon.

After finally spending £££'s on the phone to HRMC I am no longer paying tax on a pension my ex is getting. This has obviously pissed him off so now I've had a demand for £5000 from the CSA. Ye gods, the man needs a lobotomy.

Peace at last

Winston has gone home.
DGD Eileen is in bed and asleep.
My L&M has gone to bed with his new book, Spider Rain by John Locke.
There is just me and the quiet glug of the fish tank.

CBT updated

My L&M had a phone call from Occ Health again today, he was quite concerned when she suggested that CBT might be useful for him.
He thought she meant Compulsory Bike Test, or even Cock & Ball Torture, he was greatly relieved when she explained that it stood for Cognitive Behaviour Therapy, as he doesn't own a motor bike and didn't fancy the second option either.
She then went on to tell him that the waiting lists are so long that he would have to pay for the treatment.
It cost between £45 - £100 per session, great, more money to find!
No wonder his line manager is so keen to blame my L&M's stress on our home life. She's worried she might be expected to cough up!

Thank you

For all your comments on my l last post.
I'll be the first to admit I'm not poor, I've never gone hungry though I've had a pretty crappy diet at times. But I have a roof over my head, running water and whilst my home isn't warm enough to wander round in a bikini in the depths of winter it isn't too cold either.
Things have at times been a lot worse than they are now, I still remember how excited I was when I found a discarded nail file in a car park one day, I couldn't afford to buy one and had no scissors to trim my nails with.
I'm worried about how tough things are going to get once I have to give up work and am living just on my state pension.

Blog off

If I don't enjoy a programme on TV I turn it off, for the sake of my blood pressure I am doing the same with some blogs. I have stopped following a few lately, I'm sick to bloody death of reading blogs by people who lecture on about how they live a frugal life whilst having no idea how difficult it is to manage on a low wage.

Bloggers wittering on about doing without, when they have three holidays in the sun or think nothing of spending £100 on new clothes or magazine subscriptions claiming that the free gifts make it worth while etc.

I expect I'm just jealous really as my lifestyle is so different.

Today I went through my bedside table and collected a few hair ties, as I said I've had a pay cut and it's started to bite. So I'm not having my hair cut now, I was spending about £50 a year on hair cuts, £50 a year I no longer have therefore I am doing without and will let my hair grow.

Yes I bought new boots as I cannot go through the winter with bare legs and canvas shoes.
I won a pinafore dress on eBay, £2.99 plus postage, still under a fiver. It is not a fashion item, it is essentials. Two of my winter dresses have been relegated to the bin as they were wearing into holes.

These purchases are the reason I'm dog sitting, lovely as my lodger is I could really do without out the extra work he entails, I have enough on my plate with my L&M not being well, a friend has just had a horrible medical diagnosis and DD1 moved on Thursday and is knee deep in DIY & unpacked boxes.

Winston and the postie

I've just experienced, for the first time, Winston's reaction to the postman, we were warned he was not keen.
This morning he was asleep on my lap under his blanket (his favourite place) when the postie arrived.
My letter box is double sided so the posties fingers were in no danger, but as soon as the letterbox rattled Winston launched himself off my lap from a standing start, slid across the laminate floor, cannoned in to the fish tank stand, righted him self, galloped along the hall, still wrapped in the blanket, barking ferociously. I'm in hot pursuit yelling 'don't touch my bloody post!'.
It enlivened up an otherwise dull morning.

I've lost all feeling in my right leg

And this is the reason why

Under the blanket is a very big dog, asleep on my leg!

My husband, my hero

I told him I was finding it difficult to walk Winston as he is very strong and he tends to drag me along, so he now takes him for a walk every day with me.

Last week he was on the early shift so three days after work we went to DD1, Helen's house and he fitted a laminate floor in her lounge and hall.

This morning we returned to Helen's and he planed the bottom of 7 doors as they would no longer close over the carpet she's had fitted upstairs.

He did the doors with the 'help' of DGD Molly she is 11 and loves to help, she really enjoys spending time with him as she sees little of her dad and has no contact with her grandparents on either side.

Molly thought originally that my husband was Helen's real dad as he is so kind to Helen and her. She thought stepdads were mean and nasty, but then the man she thought was her stepdad was in fact her mum's dealer.

Tomorrow we are returning to Helen's to plumb in her dishwasher and washing machine.

Lizzie phoned when we got home from Helen's this afternoon to ask if we could look after two year old Suzy, tomorrow as they have complimentary tickets to LEGOLAND it will be a bit cold and boring for Suzy.

When I told my L&M he said, 'She'll have to come with us won't she, she'll enjoy playing with her 2 year old cousins'.

Winston finds a friend

DGS and Winston are best friends, he also likes to sit under a blanket on mine or DGS's knee.

Yesterday my L&M and I took him to the lock, he enjoyed his walk but wasn't sure about the cows!

Winston has arrived, now with photo

My doggy guest has arrived, he has been here for about a couple of hours,  and has paced, panted, farted and cried non-stop. I hope he calms down soon or it's going to be a bloody long week!

Warm feet

Aren't I lucky, look what a lovely friend knitted me, three pairs of toasty warm socks to wear with my rigger boots.
I can still crochet but can no longer see well enough to knit so I am very grateful for these lovely socks.

Child migrants

Kethry I have no problem with Britain taking a fair share of migrants.
My concern is based on personal experience.
A few years ago we had a group of 'child migrants' allocated to the school where I work.
They were all aged between 25 & 30, they were definitely not aged by war, they were a total nightmare.
I'm not prepared to post more on my blog, but I'd be happy to email you with the details.

Oh buggering bollocks

The toilet cistern upstairs has sprung a leak and the water has soaked through the floor.
Now the lounge ceiling and one of the walls needs repainting.
We don't have any paint left of that colour and the room already has a feature wall.
We have a surveyor coming on Friday, I can't see it being ready by then.

Shouting at the TV

I sometimes put the TV on in the kitchen in the morning to keep an eye on the time.
Normally I tune out the waffle and just watch the clock, this morning I had to turn off the TV as I just wanted to shout at it.

First there was the piece about the wild boar in the Forest of Dean, someone was being interviewed about his lawn, he claimed it had been wrecked by wild boar looking for food.
His lawn was in a row of 3 or more, with no fences between them, the other lawns were immaculate and untouched. His lawn looked like it had been rotovated, the edges were absolutely straight, wild boar with OCD?

Secondly the piece about unaccompanied migrant children coming to Britain, very commendable I'm sure but most of these so called unaccompanied minors looked to be in their 30's. We had a group students at school a few years ago who claimed to be 14 to 16 year olds, my arse, they were all between 25 & 35 and caused no end of problems.

Finally the tragic case of Ben Needham, I feel so desperately sorry for his mother. But who in the fuck lets a 21 month old toddler play outside alone, out of sight of any adults especially when there is building work going on.

I don't leave my toddler grandchildren to play out in my garden and my garden is safe and secure. I keep an eye on them from the decking so if an accident occurs I am at least close by.

Food

We had a lamb shank between us tonight, it was meant to be our Sunday roast dinner but we were so late home after helping DD1, that we had a sandwich instead.

My L&M is laying a laminate floor for hDD1 in her lounge, she only has carpet upstairs, with 6 kids and 2 dogs she needs a wipe clean floor downstairs.

I roasted the lamb shank  with some garlic and herbs and put some par-boiled potatoes in the same roasting tin, we had peas, carrots and cauliflower as well.

I cooked some steak and kidney at the same time, ready for tomorrow's evening meal and boiled some eggs for egg salad sandwiches for lunch tomorrow.

Spending money and not spending money

I bought my self 2 pairs of boots, one pair was £25 from New Look, the other pair was £9.99 from Ebay.

I need boots to keep me warm as I cannot wear trousers, skirts or tights. I wore my last pair to death, there are holes in the soles and they aren't repairable, wet feet are not warm feet.

I'm also bidding on a black pinafore dress and watching 3 others, all of them are under £5. I shall only buy one pinafore dress, I have a red silk blouse that was a 40th birthday present and I can't bear to part with it, so I need a pinafore dress to wear it with.

I also need slippers but it is my birthday next month so will ask for some then.

My winter jackets are being worn, one was from Edinburgh Wool and is 15 years old, the other is black cashmere and is 30 years old.

There is no heating at work until 1st November and my wool jackets are warmer than my 2 cardigans that are both acrylic.

And then I went on to Amazon, looked through their list of free books and bought 15 new books, all for nothing.

Amongst these are the complete novels of Elizabeth Gaskell, I have read two of them years ago and I'm looking forward to rereading them.

The trials of being a short arse

I'm 4'11 on a good day with a following wind.

I cannot reach things on supermarket shelves or in other peoples kitchens.

I have to drive my car with my nose on the windscreen otherwise my feet don't reach the pedals.

In group photo's I look like I'm sitting down whilst other people are standing, or I look like I'm in a row of my own.

When mini skirts were fashionable mine were always knee length.

My children and grandchildren all tower over me by the time they are 10.

There are some good things about being short.

I've never had to wear flats so as not to tower over my partner.

I'm assertive, I've needed to be otherwise I could be ignored.

Anniversary

Next month it will be the anniversary on the death of my lovely mother in law.

We haven't seen FIL for many months now, the final straw for me was when he said I was a liar. I claim to have a son who is a firefighter. It seems FIL has decided I don't and that I'm making it up.

Anyway, to get back to the anniversary, FIL has 'organised a memorial' no one is sure if this means an event of some sort or if he means a statue or something similar.

Either way he has been very upset, claiming to have spent a fortune on this, but that someone is trying to stop him. The problem is he's not clear on who is trying to stop him, maybe he just thinks someone will.

I think we will just keep our heads down and keep out of the way.

Wet wet wet

On Sunday we went to visit DD1 at her new house, My L&M stripped some wallpaper, I entertained the 2 year old and rinsed out some paint rollers, I managed to soak myself through to my trollies and had to get changed when I got home.

Today we dropped some tools off to DD1, I picked up her little boy because her looked a bit sad, he puked all over me, poor little scrap. By the time I'd cleaned us both up I was soaked through to the trollies and had to get changed when I got home.

Tomorrow we are dropping off some laminate floor beading off to DD after work, I really home I manage to stay dry!

Impatience

My beloved ordered a BP & Pulse monitor last week as he likes to check his pulse before he takes his medication.

It arrived today so he unpacked it immediately, he fitted some batteries and put it on his finger.

'It's not working' he said 'what a waste of money, it's not working I'm going to send it back' he ranted, ripping the offending article off his finger.

I intervened 'It shows the speed of your pulse in beats per minute' I explained 'I suggest you put it back on your finger for at least 30 seconds to give it a chance to do some counting!'

He did, it works just fine.

I'm one hot woman

But you already knew that!

We both slept badly last night, the heating was on, my L&M announced as he went to bed 'Don't touch the heating controls I've set them how I want them.'

He set the heating on high, he misread the dial, we've only lived here 12 years and had the same dial for the said 12 years.

So I slept fitfully, constantly waking covered in sweat and two duvets because my L&M, who was also hot had thrown his duvet over me in an attempt to cool down!

When we  left to visit DD my L&M decided to put his jumper in the boot of the car, in the boot are 6 or 7 shopping bags, useful now carrier bags are no longer free. Unfortunately these bags were not placed correctly in the boot, so it took him some time to rearrange them to his satisfaction. Once in the car I received a lecture on how bags should be stored correctly, I have no idea what the correct way is as I wasn't listening to the lecture.

Time to stop whingeing

Oh how I needed this last week!

And now, a pic of me wearing my boots!

Dismal day

It didn't really get light yesterday and today hasn't been much better.

It's rained on and off as well for the last 2 days.

The washing is hung on the radiators or on the line under the gazebo, neither lot will dry but it's the best I can do.

It's pretty dismal inside too, I have no energy or enthusiasm for anything and apart from minimal housework have spent most of my time once DGD went home sat on the sofa doing sod all.

I have paperwork to fill in but I can't be bothered.

I should be writing a ghost story but I can't be bothered.

My L&M is moping around like a spectre at the feast and I can't even breathe at the right speed to please him!

5am

And DGD Eileen is up and has had her breakfast, I am awake too, but all I want at 5am is a cup of tea.

Even the fish don't want breakfast this early!

My L&M has to have a 24 hour ECG monitor fitted, we are now waiting for an appointment letter from the hospital.

I tried, I really tried

But in the end I walked away.
I had an engineer turn up today to repair a machine that wasn't even broken.
Some idiot couldn't work out how to press the correct button, so an engineer had been called out for a wasted journey.
It was then suggested I spend some time training the person who had the problem.
I tried, I really tried, but unfortunately she is an expert on EVERYTHING, so when I tried to explain, she shouted me down and told me how the machine should work.
It was either that or wring her fucking neck!

Mrs Smug

I have a colleague who is always smug, she curled her nose up when my DD got divorced, yes it was a shame but shit happens.

Her children are more beautiful and more gifted than anyone else's, as is her grandchild.

At lunch time today I remembered a bit of video I'd taken of my 2 year old DGD Suzy, I took it because she was singing.

I played it to a colleague and Mrs Smug wanted to see too. She was most upset to hear that Suzy could sing, I explained that Suzy sings loudly and tunelessly.

She asked how old Suzy is, she was 2 a couple of weeks ago, Mrs Smug's DGC is 8 months older.

It seems Mrs Smug's DGC doesn't sing, probably because his parents don't sing. My DD sings around the house as do I, my SIL was in a band and also sings, Suzy's older sisters sing to her.

To add insult to injury Suzy was scribbling away as she sang. Mrs Smug was even more aggrieved, her DGC cannot hold a pencil, let alone draw.

Suzy draws because her sisters do and they let her join in, they also play schools and make her sit at the table with paper and crayons.

She isn't Picasso, she only scribbles, mainly circles, but still Mrs Smug is annoyed, oh good.

Unleash Hell

There is a fair amount of financial tit arsing going on here at the moment, nothing illegal and nothing to do with being in debt.
Just things that need doing, documents that need signing etc.
The person I started dealing with is a woman in her 60's, she is very knowledgeable and very efficient.
As time went on certain parts of this tit arsing have been passed on to other people to deal with.
I have been patient for best part of a fortnight but yesterday I decided that I was no longer receiving the exceptional levels of service I was expecting.
So I emailed the lady above and copied her in on some of the emails I was receiving.
She immediately phoned me, apologised and promised to get things moving.
It seems I unleashed hell, my phone has been ringing constantly, I have received many emails and some text messages.
Everything has suddenly speeded up again, funny that isn't it.

Love is...

I'm very bad at telling my L&M that I love him, I tend to take the attitude of 'I'm here aren't I'.

Last week I did tell him that I love him and that I probably should tell him more often.

On Sunday I made us both a full cooked breakfast, but I broke one of the eggs as I cracked it into the pan.

As we sat at the table with our plates in front of us my  L&M looked at my plate and said 'I know you love me because you never give me the broken egg'.

So true love is never being given the broken egg!

On my hook

I've made a start on this, with some yarn sent to me by a blog reader.

Cutting it fine

I finished this buggy blanket this morning, it's for a pregnant colleague, she leaves this week so I cut it a bit fine!

Back on an even keel

The problems haven't changed, my equilibrium is improving.
That plus I have been on a major shit stirring mission.
This was brought about by someone trying to shift the blame for my L&M's stress by implying that I leant on him too much and expected too much support from him both financially and mentally.

Kate, Lyssa, Joy, thank you for thinking of me when you all have more than enough on your own plates.
Galant, Sheila, Kelley, Chris West & Softstuff, thank you also.
Winters End Rambler, love the name.
Anon, I will look into getting a mouth guard.
Andi, I don't watch much TV, especially not the soaps, far too much doom and gloom for me.
Anon, thank you for the spell I started using it today.

We had various grandchildren visiting this weekend they cheer us up no end, especially watching the 2 year old trying to shuffle cards and play snap, she has no idea what she is doing but shouts NAP and flings her arms up in excitement. She managed to sock me in the eye doing this and it was ages before my L&M stopped laughing.