Oh dear

What a shame! 

My first husband has managed to annoy all four of our children simultaneously, usually he only pisses them off one at a time. I'm not really sure what has happened though I do know It was something to do with his birthday.

He has always expected all four of our children to attend him on his birthday along with their children and they are expected to provide expensive gifts. He has always been difficult to buy for and extremely ungrateful, when I organised a microlite flight for him, he complained that one flight wasn't much, he would have preferred a course of six flights! As I was working in our business at this time and he refused to pay me a wage he was lucky he received anything.

Our children rarely tell me anything about him, they know I'm not really interested although I do always ask after his health. 

This morning I popped in to see my oldest daughter and she was seething from an email he'd sent her, tomorrow I'm seeing my other daughter so I will no doubt hear more. All I can do is listen sympathetically. I do not make things situation worse when they tell me things, I have no need to, he has managed to upset everyone on his own.

Soup du jour.

It's definitely soup weather at the moment, I still have some broccoli and stilton soup in my freezer.

Today I'm making another soup, this soup has many names, including fridge debris soup and simple soup. 

I'm using one very large carrot, three aged potatoes, an onion and a handful of orange lentils. I use these as they cook quickly.

I went to the village shop to buy some bananas and they had parsnips on the shelf,  I bought two and tomorrow I shall make curried parsnip soup.

Default setting.

My default setting now is scruffy.

I dress for comfort, warmth and dog walking.

My mother was glamorous and immaculately turned out when she went anywhere.

The best I can manage on a good day is tidy.

The main reason I leave my house is for dog walking, this doesn't require glamour, it requires comfortable shoes and appropriate clothing

Anywhere else I go, I like to ensure I'm not flashing any part of my anatomy.

There have been times when I've needed to dress up and I have done. I have dressed up for weddings, funerals and BDSM parties.

I do have one tidy outfit so if I needed to I could look respectable.

I've been jabbed

Cass took me to a nearby surgery this morning for my covid and flu jab, one in each arm, the surgery in the village couldn't do it, I was in and out so quickly she thought at first there had been a mistake with the date. I've always had both the jabs at the same time, it saves time for me, Cass and the surgery.

Cass collected me from the pub where I was attending the weekly coffee morning. Whilst I was out the cleaning team did a quick blitz on my bungalow so I came home to everything sparkling, I am now relaxing with a book.

I'm still battling through Look What You Made Me Do, it's very interesting but quite enraging at times. Sometime I swap between that book and something lighter, currently Tales from the White Hart by Lyssa Medana, as otherwise my blood pressure would be through the roof.

First it was #me too

Now it's "I am Jane Doe!"

I am frequently in despair at the treatment some people suffer at the hands of others.

 I was not a particularly cared for child, my mother was not abusive but she was disinterested, which my have contributed to my experiences.

I was four years old when I was first sexually assaulted, I was told and I believed that it was my fault though somehow I now doubt that it was.

I consider myself lucky as I have never suffered serious harm but I have suffered harm.

From the boyfriend who punched me in the face when we split up to my first husband who's sexual proclivities caused harm that should have resulted in hospital treatment. I recovered to an extent though I still have some minor problems.

In between these there was the teen who grabbed me as I was waiting to catch the train home from school, he kissed me and forced my hands towards his penis, I had no idea what it was that I could feel. I was still in junior school so probably about  9 or 10 years old.

There was the time at work when I was sent to deliver some paperwork to a visiting customer, he grabbed and groped me, I fought back and got away, I then lost my job as I'd annoyed the customer.

There was the time I stayed for one night with a colleague from work as I was moving from London to Bristol. My lease was up on my bedsit and she offered me her spare room for the night. Once she was asleep her partner came into the bedroom. I had to fight him off. When he left I was clutching a handful of his hair that I had ripped out.

I agree that it's not all men but I have never been sexually assaulted by a woman!

I am also lucky that whenever things happened to me I didn't freeze with fear, I fought back and I yelled my head off.

This is why I was always sat at the end of a group of friends of we went to the pictures, I could be guaranteed to shout out and sometimes lash out is someone tried to grope me.

I repeat, it's not all men but it's enough of them!

Commanding

When we first met Beano he was very stressed and seemed to have had very little training,  he paced his kennel area endlessly hoping to find a way out. The rescue centre had started with some basic commands but to be perfectly honest Beano was far too stressed to take much in.

As soon as we arrived back at the boat Steve launched straight in to training Beano and it immediately went tits up! He started with SIT but unfortunately swapped between SIT and SIT DOWN, which is a no no when training a dog, one simple command is best. Beano also does what is called a puppy sit, where the dog sits with a sideways slouch instead of sitting upright. This, according to Steve is incorrect and Steve was adamant that Beano learned to sit correctly. He spent many hours shouting and screaming at Beano who eventually decided all this noise wasn't of interest to him and he would wander off to sniff something interesting. Beano has quite limited movement in his back legs so I'm not sure if he can sit upright.

According to many experts a dog will want to please its owner and therefore will be willing to train. Unfortunately Beano wanted his previous owner so wasn't really interested in pleasing me or Steve.

I rarely made any effort to train Beano to start with, partly because Steve insisted he knew what he was doing and partly because Steve had wanted a dog whereas I didn't. He'd owned two Weimaraner's some years previously but I think his wife trained them.  I just tried to gain Beano's trust, mainly by feeding and walking him. 

I did teach him WAIT, if I wanted him to stop either to cross a road or to let someone pass us and then I taught him OVER when the road was clear. If we'd stopped to let someone walk past I still used WAIT,  but to carry on when not crossing a road I used WALK ON. Steve didnt approve of this command as he said it was for horses. I know it is but Beano doesn't know he's not a horse so I have carried on using it.

I use STAY, if I'm leaving him home and going out, he hates being left and looks very dejected when I say it. I do tell him he's a good boy when he follows instructions but he seems not to care, he also is disinterested if I tell him off for any reason.

He is currently laying on his back with all four legs in the air and enjoying having his tummy stroked. It's a dog's life!

Taking a tumble.

I managed to trip y'day and ended up stretched out on the pavement.

Beano immediately returned to my side and stood quietly, though he did look puzzled.

I was on my way to the pub to return a small sewing repair that I'd done for someone. I'm glad I wasn't in my way out of the pub as that could have caused gossip!

Two people who were passing stopped to see if I was ok, I was fine but mortified. My knees are black and blue and I broke a couple of fingernails but that is all so I got off very lightly.

My balance is never brilliant and after my first stroke I used a walking stick for a while. Steve complained vociferously about me using a walking stick as he felt it made him look old, so I started to manage without.

I have now ordered a new walking stick and will use it on days when I'm unsteady.