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Ang, I read that Richard E Grant interview about a pocketful of happiness.

Flis, I'm usually smiling when I walk Beano as I enjoy it so much. I'm dreading giving up Beano when I finally lose my sight.

Steve finds it very difficult to find happiness anywhere, he was yelling at me before he was even dressed yesterday morning, he's snapped and snarled all day! I'm wondering if he wouldn't be happier living elsewhere.

I visited the audiologist y'day I need new hearing aids, they will cost over £1500 to buy, gulp! I feel it's necessary as I won't manage if I'm deaf and blind.I

We have a sunny day here, the washing machine has finished doing it's thing, I'll hang everything on the maiden and stand it in the sun.

I'm sure you must all be bored silly with my monotonous life, but I prefer a quiet life.

Small joys

Many things I used to enjoy I can now no longer do.

I can't see well enough to knit, crochet or sew, I've never watched much tv and now only watch Sewing Bee. We probably should have purchased a large tv but as Steve never watches it, it seemed pointless. Also it would have overpowered our small living room.

So I look for small joys on a daily basis. This time of year there are many. 

Flowers in peoples gardens.

Weeds on the verges, as they weren't cut during no mow May. We have a lot of Shepherds Purse and Plantain round here.

Children on bikes or skipping along the pavement.

Dogs being walked, though we cross the road if the dogs are big or bouncy as Beano is a grumpy old man.

The view from my window of the garden where I live. There are some lovely flowers in the garden and birds visit the bird bath and feeders. One part of the garden is bedecked with fairy lights, metallic twisters and a multitude of decorations.

Housework.

 I make no secret of the fact that i hate housework and do as little as possible. That doesn't mean that we live in a tip, some days I don't have much energy and what little I have is used on walking Beano. Steve won't walk him so I have to.

I love our little flat, it is definitely compact and bijou and unlike the boat I can sit on the sofa and look out the window at the garden. I can watch the residents passing my window or doing some gardening. I can also see the birds using the bird bath, especially the crow that visits many times a day. I can watch Greebo stalking birds or sunning himself, although he is currently visiting the vet once or twice a week. There is nothing wrong with Greebo but his owner has mental health problems and is convinced he is unwell. The vet has diagnosed stress, caused by a neighbouring white cat and is making a fortune providing endless pills and potions for Greebo.

One part of the garden is decorated with metallic garden decorations and is illuminated at night by 14 sets of twinkling lights. The garden also contains innumerable stone dogs and a huge stone dragon.  I like a garden that is crammed full of plants and colour but some of the beds here have huge expanses of hard earth between the plants. This seems to me a waste of good soil.

Today is a good day energy wise so I've bottomed out the kitchen, swept and washed the floor. Emptied, washed and refilled the boxes containing stuff that won't fit in the kitchen cupboards. A box of assorted tinned food and a box containing all the herbs and spices that Steve wanted and now never used as he will only eat ready prepared, frozen meals. I used to enjoy cooking but as everything I cook is shite, I no longer bother.

I will sort the three wall cupboards next, I'm keen to find out just how many bottles of BBQ sauce we have. I loath the stuff but Steve loves it and every time he finds a new make, he buys it. I'm tempted to pour some of the half empty bottles in together to make more room.

I may leave the three floor cupboards for another day, I'm sure I'll have another energetic day soon.

Shopping

I used to do all the shopping, I used to go early in the morning at the crack of sparrowfart to avoid the crowds.

Then Steve decided he wanted to come with me, only this meant going mid morning as he doesn't like to get up early. This meant the supermarket was busy and he complained about the other shoppers.

So I suggested shopping online, he agreed and this is what we now do.

Unfortunately this went tits up y'day and this morning's delivery had many items missing. It seems Steve had noticed the website dropping out but didn't think to check if anything was missing.

I mentioned the lack of eggs but he didn't think this was important as he only eats two eggs a week and we had three in the fridge. I eat a lot of eggs, mainly hard boiled in sandwiches or with a salad.

Then he realised the cans of coke were missing along with other things he likes.

He's just set off for Aldi to purchase the missing items. I hope he remembers the eggs, they are written on the list.

Social events

I no longer attend the afternoon social events in the summer house where I live. My hearing its so poor now that I can't follow a conversation. I still go to the quiz mornings as fewer people attend and Barbara prints the questions for me.

I used to rely on lip reading to back up my lack of hearing but now I can no longer see well enough to lip read.

I can still manage one to one conversations but groups are really difficult.

I have an audiology appointment in a week, hopefully they can help improve my hearing.

On the bright side this has given Steve an excuse to have a rant about how he gave up the boat as I couldn't manage it any more. And now I'm not taking advantage of the events on offer here.

Steve had another excuse to rant today when a parcel arrived from Amazon. He stormed into the living room, " More carp you've ordered from Amazon! " 

it was something he'd ordered and nothing to do with me.

Where is home to you?

For me, the answer is nowhere.

My parents divorced when I was a teenager and I moved to a bedsit,  I've moved so many times since then that there is nowhere I feel is home.

I've lived in Lincolnshire, London, Bristol and many areas in Berkshire.

For me, it's a case of Wherever I lay my hat, that's my home.

I'm happy where I am now, there are people around, unlike on the boat where Steve always moored away from other people.

I had a neighbour years ago who complained bitterly about living so far from her home village even though it was only half a mile away.

I didn't stay long at the BBQ as it was a bit too peopley, I struggle to hear in large social occasions, I used to rely on my lip-reading skills  but I can't see well enough to go that any more

Steve claims he is unhappy but whether he really is or whether he just has to complain I'm not sure.

I will try Beano on grain free food but as his allergy is seasonal I'm not sure it will help. He has an allergy shampoo already and refused to take his steroid medication, even when it was crushed into his food. He also refused antihistamines.

There is a chilly  breeze today so I'm wearing leggings under my dress, purple leggings under a dark red dress. They clash, but there is only a couple of inches of leggings showing as my summer dresses are almost ankle length. It's one of the joys of being a shortarse, the dress should be just below my knee.

I bought some Snag leggings, three pairs, one each blue, shocking pink and purple. Steve hates them, he would like me dressed head to toe in black. The leggings are brilliant, quite thick and best of all they have pockets!

BBQ in the garden.

There is a BBQ in the garden today, only about a dozen residents will attend but it is open to all.

Last time Steve butted in when someone was doing the BBQ, so he was handed the tools and left to get on with it. He complained bitterly about this but I expect it will be the same today.

I'm making a tray of chocolate brownies, at Steve's insistence, I don't think anyone will want them but it will keep him quiet if I make them. I don't know why he is so insistent as he won't eat them himself. He will only eat shop bought food, nothing home made.

I've stopped for a cup of coffee, whilst the butter for the brownies softens in my sunny kitchen.

There it's a nice pet shop at the top of the road, I will walk up there and see what grain free food they have that Beano might eat. When we first saw him at the rescue centre he'd been given a bowl of kibble. After a couple of days as he was still refusing to touch the kibble they tried adding some water to the kibble but he still wouldn't eat it. By the end of his stay he was being given tinned dog food as it is what he likes. He also won't eat the dog food from big tins, I think the chunks are too big. Either that or he is just exceptionally fussy!

Beano won't eat any fruit or vegetables apart from cooked potatoes but he will eat any make of dog food as long as it is pate style and not chunky. I've no idea why but I just pander to him so he eats something.

Apart from walking Beano, I spent most of y'day sprawled on the sofa eating junk, I expected to pay for it today but I actually feel quite well. Beano had 3 walks in the sunshine and numerous trips to the long grass by the car park,  we kept the walks short as he's not keen on hot days.