Why would you do that?

 I once worked in a small office that had a strange promotion system.

The "office manager" was the longest serving staff member, it seemed to me to be a very strange system and it eventually fell apart when two people who started on the same day couldn't both be promoted.

This meant that an office manager was recruited externally, that's when the brown stuff really hit the fan.

The new manager started and soon after found a discrepancy in the paperwork.

It seems someone had lied on their C.V. about their qualifications.

The new manager interviewed all the staff in turn and had asked for proof of their qualifications.

We are talking about GCSE's here, not anything more technical

When she got to me and asked I told her that I had no GCSE's and as they hadn't been a prerequisite of employment, she accepted this but seemed confused.

Over the next few days I discovered that all ten members of staff had claimed O or A levels they either hadn't taken or hadn't passed.

As the staff were all in their 40's and qualifications were not required, I really couldn't understand why they would lie.

Getting cloudy.

The weather here is improving slightly, today is been sunny and mild.

My cataract, in my left eye is getting thicker and my vision is cloudy.

Surgery is not an option, it has been tried and failed.

My right eye is clearer but my vision is distorted.

Ah well, I shall keep buggering on for now.

New neighbours.

A couple of days ago I met the couple who have purchased one of the flats here.

The flat is over two floors, has two bedrooms, two bathrooms and is in the listed part of the complex so has large, single glazed windows. The flat is also in need of a complete makeover as the previous resident was 102 and housebound, she moved in to an old people's home a few months ago.

Steve has said a few times that we should have purchased that flat instead of the one we did buy. It wasn't for sale when we were looking and anyway I didn't want anywhere with stairs as I find them difficult. Steve feels our flat isn't impressive enough though I've no idea who he wants to impress!

The new couple are both tall, slim and from South Africa, they have a small friendly Shih Tzu. They were in the car park as I returned from walking Beano and he was very keen to say hello.

I mentioned them to Steve when I got home and he was very pleased, he explained that I needed to make friends with the wife and stop going out with Betty. 

He's set me a list of tasks to ensure they like me, including asking if they'd like to come on a dog walk with me. I really wonder what planet he's on sometimes.

I'll admit I'm not good at making friends, mainly because of my deafness. Fortunately it will be 4 or 5 months before the new people move in.

Our mad cat lady is up in arms at the thought of another dog moving in, she claims her cat is already being terrorised by Beano and she's not sure the cat will cope with another dog in the building!

Wardrobe

We have a wardrobe in the bedroom that was left by the previous resident. It is perfectly sound but it smells of stinky feet.

I've tried every remedy I can think of and some I've googled but still it stinks.

The knock-on effect is that my clothes also smell of stinky feet!

I told Steve I was going to save for a new wardrobe over the next few months. I'd be happy with  second hand.

To start with Steve suggested that is was my clothes that were making the wardrobe smell, I explained that it isn't but he's not convinced.

We've been in the flat over a year now so I feel I've been patient long enough.

I'd be happy with a second-hand wardrobe from a charity shop but I know Steve wouldn't like that and I don't care enough to argue.

Steve then announced he'd transfer the money from the savings to pay for a new wardrobe.

All was going swimmingly until Steve decided he didn't like the way I was repeatedly saying "er er er". 

As I wasn't  saying anything, I suggested he put his hearing aids in!

A few moments later my phone pinged, it was a text message, my bank account was nearly in the red.

Cue much shouting from Steve, I asked if he'd ordered a  wardrobe and yes he had. From Amazon which is paid from my account. Had he done the transfer? No!

Steve was adamant that the money couldn't have been taken from my account already.

I left the flat with Beano and went for a walk.I

My new wardrobe will be here on 4th April.

Beano is a grumpy old man.

We have two cockerpoos and a maltipoo living near us, both the cockerpoo are male, black and mad, the maltipoo is female, beige and slightly calmer.

Beano likes them all and long as they accept that he doesn't want to play he is fine. One of the cockerpoos still acts like a puppy and bounces around Beano, trying to get a reaction.

Beano grumbles and complains but eventually today he did play with Denzil. They ran around the field, chasing each other until Beano was tired. When we got home Beano slept for a couple of hours, worn out by his exertions.

What a night!

Beano woke me up three times last night and I couldn't work out why.

Until that is, at 6:30 I went into the kitchen to put the kettle on and realised Steve had left two slices of roast beef on a plate on the work surface!

Once this was in the fridge Beano settled down and went to sleep.

I, on the other hand was wide awake and pottered around until Betty messaged me to see if I'd go with her to take Harry to the hospital for a scan. I agreed and off we went, Betty and I had lunch in the Costa while we waited for Harry, we get to do it all again on Wednesday. Harry has waited six to eight months for these appointments.

Margie we have more chance of winning the lottery ticket than getting any sort of medical appointment.

Kate, we are both in the same boat aren't we, as you say there is bugger all help available.

To the unknown who suggested I go bowling, you must have missed the posts about me going blind!

RunNRose, I will stop posting when I can no longer see well enough, until then, this is my outlet.

Let it go.

Keep calm and carry on.

I know everyone has their own opinion on what I should do but I write this blog to get stuff off my chest.

The longer this situation continues the worse Steve gets, he is becoming more and more confused and when confused he gets irritable. If I threw him out he couldn't cope, I'd be very happy if he left of his own accord but he is unlikely to do that. He has little understanding of how his behaviour affects me or other people. 

Y'day our Tesco shopping was delivered, I try to walk Beano at this time but the shopping arrived early. Steve was already pacing between the flat and the car park, getting stressed. When the van arrived Steve hurried back to the flat. I never know what I'm to do if I'm still home when the shopping arrives, sometimes I'm expected to help and Steve shouts of I don't help. Sometimes I'm expected to sit on the sofa out of the way, either way I can expect a bollocking!

On Wednesday I went to Lidl to buy some bread rolls, Steve wasn't well so he didn't feel well enough to go himself. That said he did give me detailed instructions on how to get to Lidl.

I did explain that I knew where Lidl's was but it seems I was wrong. Steve insisted that Lidl's had moved.

It hasn't, I'm not sure what causes his confusion but I just nod and agree with him, there is no point in arguing.

An ex work colleague of Steve's is in hospital in Devon. Steve is thinking of visiting him, I hope he doesn't, he's dreadful in hospitals. I think his ex colleague is unlikely to survive from what we've been told but Steve hasn't grasped this yet.

I'm out with Betty today, I don't know where we are going and I don't much care, it's just so nice to go out.I

in four weeks time, Betty's bowls season starts and then I don't expect to go out with her very often but for now I will enjoy every moment.

Seething.

Steve isn't happy here, he makes no secret of it. I've suggested various solutions but he's rather stay here and complain than move.

He has now exhausted the sympathy of most of the other residents and is finding it difficult to find someone to sympathise with him.

He has now reached out to some boater friends telling them how unhappy he is and how unkind I am.

The lady has emailed me remonstrating with me for my unkindness towards Steve! Her email explains that she whilst she is glad I have made friends and understands my need to go out. To go out every day, leaving Steve in the flat to look after Beano is unfair. She also feels I need to share the visits to coffee meetings in the summer house rather than attending alone and again leaving Steve in the flat with Beano!

I have not yet replied.

I may never reply!

Steve's not well,

He's been very pale for the last few days.

He's spent the day in bed as he feels dizzy.

I have provided cups of tea and fresh water.

Hopefully he will feel better tomorrow.

Suggestions

Thanks for the suggestions but Steve won't eat the beef now what ever I do to it. There is far too much for me to eat, it would take me a month of Sunday's.

My face is no longer sore, I think it could have been stress hives, living with Steve means my life is full of stress. I know he hates me going out and mixing with the neighbours but I spent six years in isolation when we were on the boat and that was enough!

Steve is going into town today, it gives him an excuse to start drinking earlier than when he's home.

Beano is still a little under the weather, but it could be his age, he's eating normally, he's just not walking as far as he used to.

Lunch club today, another thing Steve hates me doing, I'm making a fruit pie today. I need to think of some more puddings as I'm tending to do the same few on repeat. I'm limited by one member of the lunch club who is allergic to milk. If I make a pudding with milk I have to make an alternative as well. Another member won't eat cake so nothing with a sponge topping.

Feeling stressed.

I'm worried about Beano, his nose is warm and dry and he hasn't wanted to go out for his usual walks today.

My face is sore it feels like it's been sandpapered, it's from my cheek bone up to my temple and very irritating.

Steve tried to cook a beef joint for Sunday lunch y'day, for some reason he cannot grasp the cooking instructions on the wrapper. He cooked it for hours as he thinks any meat juices mean it's not cooked. He finally took it out the oven at 9:30, by which time it was dried out.  He then went to bed in a strop. I've tried to explain to him how to cook but he takes no notice as he believes I'm too stupid to cook.

I'm now left with a large quantity of dry roast beef that Steve has sliced up. It's so wasteful, it was an expensive piece of beef, big enough to serve 6-8.

He cooked a chicken thigh for Beano too, in the air fryer, this too was cooked until it was hard and dry.

I'm living on cheese and pickle sandwiches as I can't eat beef that is like concrete.

Why I don't declutter

I've read a few posts from people who are decluttering.

This is something I don't do anymore, because I no longer have any clutter!

I had a big declutter when we moved on to the boat and I since then I've gradually disposed of more "stuff".

I can't see well enough to do any crafts, so my craft stuff has gone, mainly to my teenage granddaughter who is an avid crafter.

I got rid of my books when I could no longer see to read them, I bought a kindle and I can enlarge the print so I can still read.

There is still "stuff" in the flat but it isn't mine. I still have the minimum of clothes. I was buying new leggings regularly but I then bought Snag leggings and they don't wear out like the supermarket ones.

I'm still wearing the tops I bought before I retired, though I did buy a new one a few weeks ago from  Bon Marche. I threw away a top that had a burn mark on the hem.

I will need to buy some new socks soon as mine are wearing thin on the heels.

The weather is warming up so I will swap my tops and leggings for my four summer dresses.

I did throw away my old slippers and bought a new pair.

I hope the economy isn't dependant on my, if it is we are in deep dodah.

Hissing Sid

Sunday morning, Steve's not wearing his hearing aids so he's hissing as plays on his kindle.

He got up at 11 had a shower and his breakfast, at 11:45 he asked what time we were going out. I said " just before three I expect ".

Steve immediately started ranting, he needs to know exactly what time!

We live five minutes from the pub and the table is booked for three. 

Surely it's not rocket science to work out is it.

Pet insurance.

I've just received the final bill from the vets.

They want another £49.34 on top of the £500 plus I have  already paid. 

I've paid in excess of £2500 premiums in the years I've had Beano.

The insurance company don't want to cough up

This is the first time I've claimed in the six years we've had him.

I've cancelled the insurance and I'm paying the same amount into a separate savings account from now on.

Finally!

I have six grandchildren that are blood relatives and none of them look like me.

That is until now.

One of my grandsons has green eyes that are just like mine in colour and shape.

I was in the delivery room when he was born and I held him first as his sister had already arrived and was in her daddy's arms.

No talking

I don't often talk to Steve, he refuses to wear his hearing aids as he doesn't think he needs them and he isn't interested in anything I may have to say.

If I do speak to him he makes a huge production of putting in his hearing aids, accompanied by much huffing and puffing. Obviously it is necessary to make me understand how much of an inconvenience I am.

He is greatly aggrieved with me going out with Betty, he feels I should stay in the flat apart from when I walk Beano.

He claims he worries when I go out, but he isn't worried enough to walk Beano with me even though he knows I have difficulty crossing the road.

Today Betty and I went to a local garden centre for lunch, jacket potato with tuna mayo from Dobies this time and then on to Asda for some shopping. I bought some grapes, no clothes for me, Betty bought some trousers. I'm out again tomorrow with my daughter,  Beano is coming with me.

I miss my husband.

I miss the cuddles and the sex, I miss not being able to walk past him without him copping a feel.

I miss his dreadful jokes and I miss him waffling on about the Grand Prix for hours.

I miss him pointing out places he'd worked and jobs he'd done.

I miss him pointing out ladies wearing shoes he liked.

That's all gone now, he sits in his chair and glowers out the window, endlessly complaining about the weather, the neighbours, the garden.

Sometimes like today he goes into town and spends the day drinking in a pub.

Money, money, money.

My pension was paid into my bank today, I immediately transferred £200 into my savings account. I need to start building up my savings as they were wiped out paying for Beano's treatment. The insurance company have paid up but not the full amount.

I shall carry on paying for Beano's insurance for a while but once my savings are topped up I will cancel it.

Depending on other expenses during this month, if there is anything left at the end of the month that too will be transferred to my savings account. I also draw cash out of the bank regularly and keep a stash hidden in the flat.

We don't have a mortgage to pay as we bought our flat outright, the other bills are for electric, council tax and food etc. There is no gas supply to the flats. I play £226 which is to the HA which covers things like the gardeners, outside lights etc.

Steve pays for the electric, council tax and the shopping, our food bill is high because Steve will eat only junk food and he drinks a lot. 

I'm spending more than I used to because I'm going out with Betty every week and we have lunch out and take it in turns to pay. I buy food for the lunches we have in the summer house on Tuesdays. I also buy stuff for Beano at the nearby pet shop.

Wet and windy here today.

So I'm having problems trying to persuade Beano to go out.

We have a Tesco delivery today, I wonder whether Steve will complain that I'm interfering if I try to put some of the stuff away. Or will he complain that I don't help if I sit on the sofa and ignore the delivery.

That he will complain is a given!

Sometimes I feel like setting up a recorder just so I could playback the hours of complaining and whinging he does on a daily basis.

Actually I managed to upset Steve before the shopping arrived.

Beano's vet bill came to around £800 which wiped out my savings. Then Steve decided to update his wardrobe and purchased items from Amazon. All purchases from Amazon come out of my bank account and I went in the red. Cue much wailing and gnashing of teeth from Steve.

I told him he'd need to transfer money from the savings to my account, this he has now done but the fuss he made was ridiculous. I was overdrawn by £23! My pension goes in this weekend and then I'll be in the black again!