Monday 4 March 2024

I miss my husband.

I miss the cuddles and the sex, I miss not being able to walk past him without him copping a feel.

I miss his dreadful jokes and I miss him waffling on about the Grand Prix for hours.

I miss him pointing out places he'd worked and jobs he'd done.

I miss him pointing out ladies wearing shoes he liked.

That's all gone now, he sits in his chair and glowers out the window, endlessly complaining about the weather, the neighbours, the garden.

Sometimes like today he goes into town and spends the day drinking in a pub.

14 comments:

Moira said...

Life can be so cruel, earlier today I read some of your posts from past years and I felt for you loosing your husband. It is not only death that claims them. You know what illness has done to the man you love, and all you can do is carry on. Try and find some respite and happiness. Sending love

Moira

MrsLumpy said...

Oh my Hester, I am sending you happy vibes through the sunshine!
Xoxo Shereen

Ellen D. said...

I'm so sorry that you have lost your loving husband to this cruel illness. You have done all you can do. Sending hugs to you.

Barbara Anne said...

Hugs to you, Hester. I cannot imagine how hard it is for him to now be a stranger after the good memories you and he made together.

Wishing you well.

sandy said...

Sending hugs we all are going through something x

Pam Monks said...

This is so sad, you have basically suffered a bereavement. I feel so sorry for you but at the same time I count myself lucky that my husbands stroke has affected his body and not his mind because I don’t think I would have your patience.

Heather said...

Feeling sad for you. Like others have commented, illness/stroke/alcohol all takes its toll and is very hard for you. Sending hugs and hopefully when we have warmer and dried weather your husband may have something to take his mind off himself x

Rambler said...

That is so sad; a cruel illness that has gradually taken your loving and lovely husband, leaving you with a total stranger. A stranger who is often cruel to you, humiliates you, but who you have to care for as best you can. It's an awful situation and I wish there was a way that doctors could reverse the effects that you are both suffering, because neither of you are happy - and no light at the end of the tunnel. I send love and warmest hugs although I know you need these from your husband, not me. Rosemary xx

Dotty Baggins said...

Does he have any memories of how things were or any idea of how he has changed?

Sue said...

That is so sad Sue, I really feel for you. To lose your husband this way is harder than actually losing him to death, as what he is doing now is gradually erasing all the happy memories that you shared together, if only this were reversible in some way.

Have you ever pulled up some of your old posts and pointed them out to him, to show him what you had together and how happy you both were?

Sending much bloggy love. xx

flis said...

and do you have a large photo of you both from happy times on display so he notices x

Anonymous said...

It makes me so sad for you both that everything lovely about him, that you loved in him has gone, I wonder if he remembers any of the wonderful life you once had together but can't make the right links IYSWIM to get the memories back & now he's frustrated and angry about it. I hoped he would recover slowly I'm so sad for you that he's so completely different, it's so heart breaking for both of you. Take care love Carrie x

Anonymous said...

My husband died last March , aged 63 . It is almost the first anniversary of his death
You describe so well all the very many ( and more ) things I miss about Tony
But there is such pain in how different Steve’s illness has made him - I can feel your sorrow
And I wish life could be different for you ( just as I wish it could be different forme too )
Siobhan

Anonymous said...

Tell him x

Trouble at the big house!

Not long after we moved here we had a visit from a man, Mike, who worked for the housing association. He was condescending and patronising a...