It's gin o'clock

A friend dropped a bag of damsons off this morning, I need to go and buy a bottle or 2 of gin so I can make damson gin, woohoo.

Alone at last

The DGC's and their dog have been collected by DD, the silence here is deafening.
The little ones decided that 5:15 would be a good time to get up, so I feel a nana nap is called for soon.
I have cooked a batch of leek and potato soup also a spicy beef casserole with vegetable rice. 
Tomorrow I am cooking a slimming world chicken recipe, I hope it's tasty. 

Will someone please turn the bloody lights off

The local council, in their wisdom, have changed all the local street lights. The light are so bright it's like living in Stalag 13 with the search lights beaming out.
As we live on a corner we have street lights front and back and although we have blackout blinds in 2 of our bedrooms a lot of light shows round the edges. We don't have blackout blinds in the 3rd bedroom or the bathroom and both these rooms have a glass panel over the door.
I have a roll of black out fabric, so I will spend some time today trying to improve the situation.

Smoking

It's 10:30 at night, I'm watching tv with half an eye and also browsing online. I can smell cigarette smoke, it's strong and very clear.
Only no one in the house smokes, not me or my L&M, he gave up smoking 4 or 5 years ago.
It's not the first time I've smelt it, but I'm not sure why.

Brick wall

Today has been a day from hell.

I have the headache from hell.

If anyone has a spare brick wall I'd like to borrow it so I can bang my head against it.

We went to visit MIL, it should have taken us about 45 minutes to get there, it actually took 2 hours as there were road works on the A4, the return journey was almost as bad as there was an accident on the M4 and took 1 hour 45 minutes!

We met with MIL's Macmillan nurse, FIL is really struggling so I made sure he has my phone number in case I can help him with anything, even if it's just a shoulder to cry on.

When I got home I made a quick meal for my L&M, I had leftovers from yesterday and a bowl of fruit.
I had planned to go straight back out to feed my colleagues cats.

Unfortunately before I could set off, I received not one, but two phone calls from different people, both having a melt down and both needed someone to listen so they could offload some of their stress. I think both of them felt better for having chatted, I can do nothing about their respective problems and they don't expect me do anything other than being a sympathetic ear.

I finally managed to visit the cats and I spent a relaxing 30 minutes stroking 2 lovely rag doll cats.

This is a rag doll, not one of the ones I'm feeding, I found the pic on google.

I'm now going to put my feet up and watch some rubbishy TV.

Cats, dogs & grandchildren

Thank you for all your kind comments regarding my panic attack, it's wearing off gradually, I do just try to ignore them, using the mantra 'It's only a panic attack I'm not going to die!' Obviously my body doesn't feel that stress hives is enough hence the ramping up to panic mode.
My mother died of lung cancer at the age I am now, my father died of liver cancer in 2001, he was in his eighties. So you'd think these things would get easier, but they don't.

I don't think I've ever really recovered from the cruelty inflicted by my ex surrounding the death of my father and his funeral. Having to fight to attend my dad's funeral, being sat at the back & ignored whilst my ex sat at the front with my stepmother and the rest of the family. This was all difficult but only for me. It was him telling my stepmother that I wasn't interested in visiting my Dad in hospital, where as I was unaware he was ill, was what really hurt as it was an attack on my Dad, who didn't deserve to die thinking I no longer loved him.

Anyway, on a brighter note, I'm feeding a colleague's ragdoll cats this week from Tuesday to Saturday.
I'm looking after DD2's dog from Friday to Monday.
DGD Norah is visiting from Saturday evening until Monday. DGD & the dog can keep each other company as the dog usually sleeps on DGD's bed at home.

Feeling sick

Massive panic attack today, no rhyme or reason, hey ho deep breaths and I'll weather the storm.