I have in the past been irritated by female friends who have tolerated appalling behaviour from their husband/lover saying they do it because " I love him".
Well I loved Steve and I've been very hurt by his treatment of me. I didn't stay because I loved him, I stayed because I knew he wouldn't cope if left alone. But I have reached th e point where I cannot carry I any more.
He has very determinedly tried to destroy everything I love, he claims my cooking is dreadful as he knows I enjoy cooking. He tried hard to stop me seeing my family, making friends, socialising, crafting, anything in fact that I enjoy.
Of course he is now claiming to be confused and heartbroken because I'm leaving
17 comments:
You have already left, pushed out; it’s just the actual move now.
If your husband claims he is heartbroken about your decision to leave, it would appear that he does have some rational thinking but not enough to understand his actual actions. I wish you strength and peace in moving on from your current situation, heaven knows we all need some light and love in our lives 🙏. Jan in Castle Gresley
Words are easy, and trying to make you feel guilty about leaving is a very clever ploy. Now all you have to do is put yourself first, it's about time someone did. With my first husband after our first separation I gave way and we got back together, his change of habits lasted about 3 months and all the old ways were back with a vengeance. I then decided enough was enough and I moved out, taking my youngest son (he was 15), my cats and my personal belongings. It was the best thing I ever did.
I divorced my husband after 33 years of marriage as he was an alcoholic who made lots of promises that he never kept. Once we were divorced, he was able to go to AA and quit drinking because he did it for himself. While we were married, he wouldn't quit because then I would "win" that argument. We are both better off now and I have never regretted my decision..
Do what you need to do and don't let him trick you into staying.
Stay strong you deserve a good life, Moira
Stay strong, you are doing the right thing.
Your mind's made up and that's good, I hope your plans come to fruition very soon and that he doesn't do anything drastic to stop you from leaving. It's a difficult decision to make, I know. My husband wouldn't be able to cope if I left, either.
You go girl! You’ve suffered enough. Think of all the positive things you can do in your new life when you regain the essence of you. Enjoy your times with Beano and your family. You deserved it.
Your situation is becoming more perilous by the day. Unless legally separated, your husband has significant control over your financial and healthcare decisions. If you yourself were to suffer a life-changing health event, it's unlikely his arrangements for your care would be inadequate. Please take Beano and essential documents and make your escape immediately. Allow your friends and family members to cope with the clean up.
Please make sure you are safe. Financially and physically. Josie ( )
Seems to me that you have made a very positive and wise decision for a happy peaceful future - flis xx
I'm worried that lunatic is going to take his anger out on Beano! Wish you had made all your arrangements, before announcing your plans. It doesn't seem like husband would have noticed, until you just didn't come home one day. Now he has days, weeks or months to torment you. Maybe you can just say "I'll think about it," when he begs you to stay, then keep on making your plans in secret. We're all rooting for you and Beano. Everyone deserves to have a peaceful existence. Anne from the US.
Good luck! You can do this - it will probably turn out to be the best decision you’ve ever made. Best wishes, as always, from Northern Ireland x
Good luck with your new life-hope it comes very soon. Catriona
Please don't let him trick you into changing your mind. You have tolerated this awful situation for such a long time and you now need a better life for yourself. Making the decision is the hard bit now you need to follow it through. we are all behind you in spirit.
Time to take care of yourself. Protect yourself legally, and financially so that it is a clean break. Wishing you the best of luck!
Stay strong and continue with your plans for leaving and get out as soon as you can.Don't give in to emotional blackmail.
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