First it was #me too

Now it's "I am Jane Doe!"

I am frequently in despair at the treatment some people suffer at the hands of others.

 I was not a particularly cared for child, my mother was not abusive but she was disinterested, which my have contributed to my experiences.

I was four years old when I was first sexually assaulted, I was told and I believed that it was my fault though somehow I now doubt that it was.

I consider myself lucky as I have never suffered serious harm but I have suffered harm.

From the boyfriend who punched me in the face when we split up to my first husband who's sexual proclivities caused harm that should have resulted in hospital treatment. I recovered to an extent though I still have some minor problems.

In between these there was the teen who grabbed me as I was waiting to catch the train home from school, he kissed me and forced my hands towards his penis, I had no idea what it was that I could feel. I was still in junior school so probably about  9 or 10 years old.

There was the time at work when I was sent to deliver some paperwork to a visiting customer, he grabbed and groped me, I fought back and got away, I then lost my job as I'd annoyed the customer.

There was the time I stayed for one night with a colleague from work as I was moving from London to Bristol. My lease was up on my bedsit and she offered me her spare room for the night. Once she was asleep her partner came into the bedroom. I had to fight him off. When he left I was clutching a handful of his hair that I had ripped out.

I agree that it's not all men but I have never been sexually assaulted by a woman!

I am also lucky that whenever things happened to me I didn't freeze with fear, I fought back and I yelled my head off.

This is why I was always sat at the end of a group of friends of we went to the pictures, I could be guaranteed to shout out and sometimes lash out is someone tried to grope me.

I repeat, it's not all men but it's enough of them!

Commanding

When we first met Beano he was very stressed and seemed to have had very little training,  he paced his kennel area endlessly hoping to find a way out. The rescue centre had started with some basic commands but to be perfectly honest Beano was far too stressed to take much in.

As soon as we arrived back at the boat Steve launched straight in to training Beano and it immediately went tits up! He started with SIT but unfortunately swapped between SIT and SIT DOWN, which is a no no when training a dog, one simple command is best. Beano also does what is called a puppy sit, where the dog sits with a sideways slouch instead of sitting upright. This, according to Steve is incorrect and Steve was adamant that Beano learned to sit correctly. He spent many hours shouting and screaming at Beano who eventually decided all this noise wasn't of interest to him and he would wander off to sniff something interesting. Beano has quite limited movement in his back legs so I'm not sure if he can sit upright.

According to many experts a dog will want to please its owner and therefore will be willing to train. Unfortunately Beano wanted his previous owner so wasn't really interested in pleasing me or Steve.

I rarely made any effort to train Beano to start with, partly because Steve insisted he knew what he was doing and partly because Steve had wanted a dog whereas I didn't. He'd owned two Weimaraner's some years previously but I think his wife trained them.  I just tried to gain Beano's trust, mainly by feeding and walking him. 

I did teach him WAIT, if I wanted him to stop either to cross a road or to let someone pass us and then I taught him OVER when the road was clear. If we'd stopped to let someone walk past I still used WAIT,  but to carry on when not crossing a road I used WALK ON. Steve didnt approve of this command as he said it was for horses. I know it is but Beano doesn't know he's not a horse so I have carried on using it.

I use STAY, if I'm leaving him home and going out, he hates being left and looks very dejected when I say it. I do tell him he's a good boy when he follows instructions but he seems not to care, he also is disinterested if I tell him off for any reason.

He is currently laying on his back with all four legs in the air and enjoying having his tummy stroked. It's a dog's life!

Taking a tumble.

I managed to trip y'day and ended up stretched out on the pavement.

Beano immediately returned to my side and stood quietly, though he did look puzzled.

I was on my way to the pub to return a small sewing repair that I'd done for someone. I'm glad I wasn't in my way out of the pub as that could have caused gossip!

Two people who were passing stopped to see if I was ok, I was fine but mortified. My knees are black and blue and I broke a couple of fingernails but that is all so I got off very lightly.

My balance is never brilliant and after my first stroke I used a walking stick for a while. Steve complained vociferously about me using a walking stick as he felt it made him look old, so I started to manage without.

I have now ordered a new walking stick and will use it on days when I'm unsteady.

Walking Beano

This morning as I was walking Beano someone commented that I obviously lived alone as I was talking to my dog. I smiled politely but thought Actually I've talked to my dog for years because Steve always refused to wear his deaf aids when he was with me he believed I didn't have anything interesting to say.

I had an appointment for a blood test this morning and I collected a prescription for me. I then walked to Cass's as I also collected a prescription for one of her children who is diabetic.

I have a small sewing job to do for someone today apart from that I shall read and snooze.

My life may not be exciting but that's a good thing, I've had far too much excitement in my life sometimes.

Changing things in the kitchen.

My kitchen is long and narrow, quite an awkward shape really especially as one end of it is full of my son's large dishwasher.

Today I decided to sort the kitchen out, I was given a microwave but I never use it, so I've moved it to the other end of the kitchen, my daughter has offered to take it to the recycling centre next time she goes. Hopefully someone else can make use of it.

Moving the microwave means I have all three of my main appliances in a row. I have my slow cooker, air fryer and two ring hob side by side. The air fryer only arrived today, Steve used one at the flat  but as he used it to heat up frozen food that had already been fried and never washed it, it used to stink the flat out. 

I need to read up on what I can use my air fryer for, I'm hoping it's cheaper than using my oven. Which although it only has one shelf is a fairly big area to heat if I only want a jacket potato.

The air fryer came with some paper liners, the same sort I bought for Steve that he never used. I shall have a look online for suggestions about what I can cook.

Spending spree

There was a car boot sale in the pub car park this morning and I went along. I bought a cardigan from M&S, it feels really warm and as I'm currently permanently cold  I'm looking forward to wearing it once it's been washed and has dried on the line. I also bought a big slouchy  jumper in a bright pink. 

I ordered a face razor from the big river company as I suffer from a hairy chin, the bloody thing looks like a vibrator so I will have to hide it in my bedside cabinet.

Finally I bought four pieces of small plastic fencing, these are to fill in the gaps in the hedge where Beano snuck through to steal the cat food.

I have a little list.

The list is getting longer by the day, and I'm getting more and more annoyed as the list gets longer.

It's a list of all the things my neighbour thinks I need to do to make me more acceptable!

Her remarks are always framed politely but I'm 75 in November and I feel I know how to behave!

It started when I first moved in, because I'm not local, she thinks my bungalow should have been given to someone from the village. I sympathise with this opinion but no one else was interested in purchasing it. 

When asked, I explained that my daughter lives in the village and I wanted to be near her. Next she told me I shouldn't have purchased the bungalow and I should have insisted on renting it. I'm not sure the estate agents would have agreed, I believe all these bungalows will be sold off as they become empty.

My neighbour doesn't think I should go to the pub for lunch unless I'm with male people, it's not appropriate for females to visit the pub alone. I thought the year was 2026, not 1826!

Next I was instructed to repair my fence panel that was damaged when another neighbour moved out, I had arranged for a new panel to be fitted, I was just waiting until the handyman could fit the job in.

She doesn't like my cleaners, she thinks I should get my daughter to clean the bungalow for me as her daughter does for her. The cleaners I use are the ones my daughter uses as being a foster carer is hard work and involves a lot of meetings and paperwork.

When I had a water leak she came to tell me I needed to phone a plumber, no shit Sherlock, I was hardly going to phone  an electrician was I.

Now it's the Miner bees in my garden, she sent another neighbour, Ronnie, round to tell me I needed to get rid of them, with the suggestion of using kettles of boiling water. Ronnie slipped up and mentioned he'd been sent by the her. The bees are harmless and rarely sting so my attitude is live and let live.

I just wish she'd let me live my life in peace!