Obviously this isn't the only problem in our marriage but it's very indicative of Steve's behaviour.
We both suffer from hearing problems, Steve because of many years working on building sites without the required ear defenders. My hearing is poor as I suffered many years of ear infections as a child and I also had a perforated ear drum and had surgery to repair this. As I've aged my hearing has deteriorated further. I've always used lip reading to back up my hearing but unfortunately my eyesight has now deteriorated so I can no longer do this. I pay for private hearing aids as the NHS ones I was provided with were not adequate for my needs.
To ensure Steve can hear me when I speak to him I speak clearly, if he's not looking at me I touch his shoulder to attract his attention. I did ask Steve to ensure I'm looking at him if he wants to talk to me and suggested he tap me on the shoulder. Instead he started to jab my shoulder hard to attract my attention.
Once Steve realised I was lip reading he started to cover his mouth when he spoke to me. I can no longer see well enough to lip read so Steve no longer covers his mouth, he just speaks really quietly so I have to ask him to repeat himself. This gives him the opportunity to give a long suffering sigh and then repeat himself just as quietly. When he is in the summer house or if we have visitors Steve speaks normally and I can hear what he is saying. So this is obviously just done to make my life difficult.
16 comments:
You don't have to justify yourself to us - any longtime readers will absolutely understand why you have to leave for self preservation. The fact that you have stayed for so long in such challenging circumstances is a testament to the kind of person you are. Time to move on and find happiness and peace.
Steve's behaviour seems to me to be very similar to my husband's - I can only describe him as now being deliberately spiteful - Today in a country park car park with my dogs on leads he said he was going to the toilets - I said can he hurry up because I was desperate - He then walked Very slowly towards them and said that he won't do anything I ask ! - He really is getting worse - flis xx
Please don't backtrack, you have made the decision now. And if you do suffer financially it will still be the right decision to separate.
You have tried your best to make it work. Steve is an inconsiderate, ungrateful person and makes life difficult for you. It is time for you to put yourself first.
You've definitely stayed long enough. Good luck with your plans
Hoping that you find a new home quickly ❤️👍🙏
Hope you and Beano find a new home quickly so that you can have some peace and quiet to enjoy whatever brings you pleasure. Peace and quiet is priceless. Catriona
Good luck and very best wishes to you
I left my first husband after 16 years of marriage. Best thing I ever did. We all need peace. Living with someone who is nasty, coercive, bad tempered and un trusting is bad enough. Add psychological and financial problems makes for one unhappy human being. He married again shortly after our divorce and within a few months his second wife left him. Do it girl. All the love in the world. Andie M xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
I hope you find a new place quickly, you so deserve some peace and autonomy in your life, you've tried so hard for so long & it's time to please yourself now. Hold your head high, grab freedom with both hands and enjoy a new life with lovely Beano , love Carrie xxx
His behaviour is cruel,controlling and unacceptable. Please, stay strong, don't stay with him. He is not going to improve is he? Think only of yourself, you are the most important person in your life.
That is mental cruelty. Wishing you good luck in finding somewhere new to live. Could you have a Granny annexe in your daughter's back garden. Xx
I hope you and Beano will find a place where you two can have peace.
If the power of manifesting something good to happen to you, then l am sure that all your readers, are willing you on to achieve a peaceful escape from you current life and the misery you suffer. You go girl, you can do this, we've got you, Sandra
That is abuse, plain and simple.
Women's Aid website has some fabulous help on their pages, and a chance to connect with other women who have experienced the same type of control issues. It also has a section for planning to move away safely.
Nettie
I divorced my first husband after 26 years of marriage, you KNOW when the time is right. There will be lots of help for you, and I'm sure your daughter will be only to happy to help you with things if you need any help.
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