It was a very long day today, with many difficult conversations and many tears shed.
The doctor was careful to include everyone in her discussions despite BIL's bluster and demands for the rest of us to be excluded.
MIL was better today than she was yesterday, despite thinking she was in Scotland a few times.
We sat a chatted to her until she got her bearings and the doctor decided that she was lucid enough to make her own decisions.
Her kidneys have failed and yesterday when she was dropped again by the staff her drainage tubes were pulled out.
The doctor explained the options a few times & I held her hand and checked that she understood the implications.
MIL was given the choice, she can have the drainage tubes back in and wait for the cancer to kill her in a few weeks, or leave the tubes out and kidney failure will kill her in a few days.
She chose not to have the tubes replaced, so she will be allowed to die pain free and with dignity within the next few days.
She will be moved to the local hospice if a bed becomes free in time but that may not materialise.
We stopped for a meal on the way home, when we arrived home we had a cup of tea, listened to music and held each other for a while.
Hubby is at work tomorrow, we will visit MIL on Friday and at the weekend.
19 comments:
Words fail, sending hugs instead x
Sending hugs Hester, MIL has chosen what she wants, and that is all that matters. She must be so tired, and if she can be almost pain free that is good
Much love
Marie x
Hugs. Brace yourself for the next few weeks and then you can remember MIL in peace. WS xxx
Sending all the love and light that I can muster to you and your family.
It is good that she had the dignified option to choose for herself.
Any chance of a place in a hospice? The one my mother was in was wonderful. I am so sorry you are going through this. Hugs.
Hugs Hester, at least your MIL now has been able to make her own decision and to be able to pass on in peace and pain free.
I will be thinking about you in the coming days.
I am truly thinking of you and your hubby, horrible time for everyone, Chin up Hester xxxx
Dear Hester,
Loving thoughts to you and your hubby at this time,
Alex xx
Such sad news but at least she made the decision right for her. Sending you hugs for this very differcult time for you all. Enjoy every second togeather.
Rosezeeta.
Oh my dear, such a sad and difficult time you are having. I truly hope a place can be found for your poor MiL because I am so shocked that she has been dropped several times by the staff at her present placement. They are supposed to be caring for a seriously ill vulnerable lady and should be trained in doing just that. She must be scared whenever they want to move her and it's diabolical that her final days can't be passed in peace and comfort.
I hope she is able to pass peacefully, without pain, knowing that her loved ones are there with her. I also hope BiL doesn't ruin this time with arguments about who gets what!
From Margie in Toronto - I have just lost a dear friend to this terrible disease so I truly sympathize with you and your family at this time. Kudos to the medical staff for including everyone and for allowing your MIL to make her own decision - I hope for everyone's sake that it won't take too long and that you are all able to be with her at the end. Take care of yourselves.
Wishing a peaceful painfree passing for your MIL. Hopd the hospice will have a place to make it easier for you all x
I'm holding your hand Hester.
Margaret (from Australia)
I'll be thinking about you in the coming days and weeks. My own mother made a similar decision when she felt the treatment was unbearable. She died peacefully 10 days later in the local hospital as we held hands and she slept away. Catriona
My thoughts and prayers will be with MIL and the family....
It sounds like she's made a good decision, but it's a horrible time for you all. Thinking of you
So sorry to hear your news.
\Having gone through this ourselves a few months ago I truly hope MIL is able to go to a hospice. I think it will make all the difference for her and for the family. xx
Love and light at this very difficult time. I hope that MiL can be kept as pain free as possible. X
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