We had visitors on Wednesday evening, I did an assortment of different hot and cold dishes. These included cold meats, garlic chicken and a huge bowl of mixed roast veg. All in all a successful evening but by the time our guests had left and I had cleared up it was gone midnight, I was up by 5 the following day as I couldn't sleep.
I babysat for DD2 last night so didn't get to bed until gone midnight again and was up and worrying from 5 as I had a very upsetting meeting with DD2's social worker that left me seething.
It seems I'm just not making enough effort, I need to up my game. Waking DGS up every morning, washing his uniform and PE kit, taking his stuff round every morning, taking him into work with me, helping him with his homework, getting/paying for his breakfast and his lunch every day is not good enough.
I need to be doing it for all the children, I need to be doing the washing for the 5 and 8 year old and getting them to school too.
Paying for dance/gym/drum lessons and getting the children to these, having a child to stay every Friday/Saturday and babysitting the 18month old every Saturday from 11 until 3 just isn't enough!
I did ask how I was supposed to do this on top of working, her reply,' Is your career really that important?' Well no, but paying my bloody mortgage is important, maybe even essential!
So hubby and I now have to spend next week thinking of ways in which we do more to help, when we were meant to be spending a relaxing week together as hubby is taking some holiday.
16 comments:
Who says you have to do more? Sounds as if you're already doing far more than many families would be willing or able to. You also have your own relationship and health to nurture - if you get completely worn out it won't help anyone.
Bloody social worker, was she young without her own family, some of them just don't live in our real world. Your a good mum and nan.
There's very few social workers who have a clue when it comes to real life and that's from 25 years experience of having to work in 'partnership' with them. Just think of her with the contempt that she deserves - you already do loads for your Grandchildren xxx
hugs - it sounds like your family should be getting more support from the Social but the social worker is terrified that (a) you will ask for it and (b) that the funding will come out of their budget. Bullying you into doing more is the cheaper option.
Sending good vibes x
Bloody hell. Does she even have the first idea what you're doing for them?
Typical social worker behavior. I had one like that when I was battling for custody of my grandchildren - until I started to ask her questions, like where was my subsidy, what were her actual qualifications, what was the Department planning on doing to help out - and suddenly we had a new social worker, one who actually had a clue and who was very helpful. That being said once I got permanent legal and physical custody of the kids I cheerfully told her to not let my door hit her in the bum. Trish
I would report that social worker and request a new one...you already go above and beyond...
I would file a complaint with her boss. Sounds to me you are an awesome caregiver. Stay strong. Barb in USA
That is insane! You are allowed to have a life of your own! Maybe you need to ask to speak to her supervisor?!
Sorry to ask but is this to help dd with the darling foster grand children? The social worker should be offering to provide more respite and support for DD and you. That is so so cheeky and rude. How does she know your reasons for working? That's very presumptive of her. I would complain. She really should not be so judgemental. You do a fantastic job. My gob is still open in shock at her cheek.
Eeek, no it's for my other rd who has mental health issues.
When you fall over from exhaustion, will the social worker come to help out? She needs reported, you can only do so much in a day. Cheryl
Sorry to hear about your DD s mental health issues. Support for any MH is woefully underfunded. Social Worker is still bloody cheeky though. How are you supposed to do all that then support your self financially. Will they not consider putting in home support to help with the washing and schooldrop offs etc or are they trying to penny pinch. Hope you get a decent support plan soon.
Sorry to hear about your DD s mental health issues. Support for any MH is woefully underfunded. Social Worker is still bloody cheeky though. How are you supposed to do all that then support your self financially. Will they not consider putting in home support to help with the washing and schooldrop offs etc or are they trying to penny pinch. Hope you get a decent support plan soon.
Hester, I've been reading your blog for years. Thanks for being so real and down to earth. I think you and your L&m are doing a fantastic job. I wish my grandparents had been able to put in half the time you have. Hang in there and keep getting back at them with your common sense....an attribute sadly lacking on their part.
Hope you & your L&M are relaxing and recharging your batteries.
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