Ellen's asked if Steve was kinder before he had his stroke, yes he was was a loving and lovely husband. We had some very happy years but when Steve had his stoke, that was it, all happiness was at an end.
He came round after a few days, confused as to who the old woman sat by his bed could be.
He was convinced he was in his thirties so obviously I couldn't be his wife, could I?
I spent hours sitting beside his hospital bed, worrying about him.
Eventually he left hospital and returned to live on the boat, the marina manager was very kind. Assuring us that we could stay in the marina until Steve recovered.
He never really has. He is not the man I married, he is no longer a loving husband. It's been about eight years now.
Please note any comments about how Steve's behaviour is not being caused by his stroke will be deleted. I'm tired of hearing rubbish from people who have no experience in the this matter.
10 comments:
I feel for you, Sue. My husband isn't the same man either - we have different problems to yours but it's still very hard.
You know the man he was, and indeed so do some of us long-term readers of your blog. I remember the really happy times around the time of your marriage, the thrill of moving onto the boat and all the family events you used to go to. So to have anyone in the comments doubt what you say must be frustrating and upsetting in equal measures. Take care of yourself, always. xx
Its not easy is it , the little flashes of what was is what keeps us going isnt it . The days when im belittled and abused are damned hard and the comments of id pack my bag and leave dont really help do they . We just struggle on . Though he had a bit of a lightbulb moment the other day when i said " do you ever consider what happens to you if i go first?"
Thanks so much for explaining his stroke to me. I am so sorry for both of you and admire you for the strength you have.
So awful for you, I admire the way you cope and work a way around his odd ways. You have my full commiserations.
My husband husband has an hypoxic brain injury as a result of a cardiac arrest. You have to live in these situations to fully understand. Well said. June
Thanks for telling us how the stroke has affected Steve and how different he has become. I remember your marriage having followed your blog for quite a number of years. Catriona
I am sorry that you and Steve have to deal with such a cruel illness - You are making the best of your life though it seems to me and able to find small pleasures each day xxx
In sickness and in health, those words certainly come to pass in a lot of marriages. I nursed my husband 'till his death 7 years ago, but I was fortunate, it wasn't an illness that changed his personality. I wonder, does Steve remember the time before his stroke? Do you ever talk about it, and does he then remember that you are still that woman he married and had happy times with?
I know exactly how you feel about the person after a stroke is not the person before the stroke. My dad had a stroke when I was about 15/16 his was about 51 (I think) and he never was the same character again. He had more strokes later in his life and each one took a little more of the old him away.
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