Group sex

I took the car to the hand car wash this morning, lazy I know but it's only £5 and they do a great job.
I do find it a bit like group sex though, I'm surrounded by a lot of strange men, all shouting excitedly & I keep getting buffeted from side to side by the force of their hoses!

What does your bum smell of?

Because of my long running & ongoing bowel problems (I won't bore you with the details again) I always keep a packet of toilet wet wipes beside every loo.
Toilet wet wipes are more flushable than baby wipes but I still use them sparingly.
I saw some at a good price a few days ago when  I was in a local shop so grabbed a couple of packets.
This morning I had cause to use them for the first time, when I opened the packet I noticed a strong smell of apples.
Sure enough there it is emblazoned across the packet New Apple Fresh Scent!
I wish now I'd saved the wrapping & taken a photo before emptying them into the plastic box I keep them in to keep them moist.

In the kitchen

I've made beetroot chutney and pickled beetroot, I've cooked a gammon joint then thinly sliced to make hubby some sandwiches, I've cooked salmon, fairy cakes (with DGD) and Bulgar wheat. My favourite though was cheese on toast, this cooker has a proper grill, I've missed cheese on toast, toasted cheese sarnies just aren't the same. I'm enjoying my new cooker.

Today I looked after all 4 DGC, aged 11, 8, 4 and 10 months whilst DD2 did some errands.

Tomorrow I'm visiting DD1 to see DGC, 17, 10, 9, 15 month twins. I probably won't stay long as on Thursday I'm there again to look after the youngest 4 as DD1 has to help sort out her grandma's house ready for it to be sold (to pay for grandma's care as she is no longer safe to live alone).

Wednesday I really need to make a start on emptying my sewing room so I can put the shelves up that I bought, then I can put everything back.

I need to make 2 baby blankets over the holidays too, one blue & one cream for expectant colleagues.

Woohoo

Two birds, one stone

I've given up chocolate, I gave up a couple of months ago, but there are still some chocolate oddments in the fridge. There is a mixture of some very expensive hand made chocolates, half a bar of milk chocolate and some praline seashells.

This morning DGD Eileen wanted to make cakes, unfortunately my cooker has given up the ghost and my new one wasn't due to be delivered between 10 and 2 today.

So we made crispie cakes, I melted all the chocolate left in the fridge together in a big bowl in the microwave and stirred in some rice crispies.

Great result, no more chocolate reproaching me from the fridge and one happy DGD.

My very own diet

For breakfast I have  poached egg on wholemeal toast, a cup of tea and a yoghurt drink.
Lunch is salad with egg or chicken or tinned fish.
My evening meal is a small portion of whatever I'm cooking for hubby or if he's eating something I don't like I'll have a bowl of sugar free muesli with natural yogurt. 
I drink water during the day & an occasional glass of lowcal squash in the evening.
Most days I eat an apple and a 30gram handful of nuts.
I've lost about half a stone so far, I just need to stick at it.

Shopping

I have been to the butchers this morning, I spent £59, this is what I bought.
6 pieces peppered steak.
1 leg of lamb
2 doz pork and leek sausages
3 pork chops
1 pack of back bacon
1 pack of bacon misshapes (this contained 6 gammon steaks and some smaller pieces)

I still have some chicken and minced beef in the freezer so this will last the month I'm sure.

I'm not buying any vegetables as we have plenty growing in the garden. The only other things I need this month are washing up liquid, pepper, milk, bread and fruit.

Why

Why do people insist of reversing into a car parking space when they know it's going to take them 17 attempts?

Why do people complain that their partner doesn't pull their weight around the house but then complain that what they have done is wrong?

Why do people who's relationship history looks like a car crash insist on posting all the details on facebook?

Miracle cure or Snake oil, the reply

I didn't get a reply to my letter from the practice manager, the Dr rang me himself.
Whilst he was apologetic for the confusing contradictory diet advice I'd been given he also took the opportunity to push the Cambridge diet at me again. I asked that  he go through my blood sugar levels again, he had to admit that I wasn't diabetic, but insisted that I  will become so soon.
He claims that if I lose 15-20 kg in 6 weeks on the Cambridge diet my non-existent diabetes will be cured, I explained my reservations again but he is convinced that my lack of potassium, my diverticular disease, even my ear infection will be cured by 6 weeks of Cambridge!
I asked about just following a healthy eating plan & losing weight, he claims that weight loss alone will not cure me.
Personally, I think he's talking bollocks!!!

Spuds

My L&M has only dug up a couple of the potato plants & already we have this many!

c2c finally finished

Here are a couple of pics of the c2c blanket I've just finished for an expectant colleague at work.

Letter

I waited until I'd calmed down and then I wrote a letter to the practice manager at the Doctors surgery.
I wrote an eloquent & detailed letter explaining that I was concerned about the contradictory advice I'd been given.
I also explained that I would not be paying £55 a week for the Cambridge diet as I didn't feel it would benefit my diverticular disease.
I await a reply, I wonder what that reply will be!

How Much!!!

Another visit to the doctors & yet another doctor, yet another diet. I've now been instructed to go on the Cambridge Diet!
I asked if it was OK as I have diverticulitis & the Dr said that it would be fine.
I asked about cost & I was told it would cost about £55 a week, HOW MUCH!!!!!
So the Dr said 'Well you won't be buying anything else, think how much money you will save on wine'
If he'd taken the time to read my notes he's have seen that I don't drink wine, or anything else alcoholic much.

Did I achieve anything?

Well yes & no, I got very little housework done and I only succeeded in making more mess in my sewing room. But I did manage to keep all the plants alive in the garden by remembering to water them.
So what else did I do, well, I played games, baked choc chip cookies, provided paper, felt tips, scissors & glue, rescued barbies tangled hair, pulled faces, sang nursery rhymes, played peek a boo, pointed to the fish, cuddled, jiggled, carried, chased, hugged, clapped hands, made mashed banana with milk, wiped hands & faces, changed nappies, explained how fish poo, kissed ouchies better, made sandwiches, chopped up fruit, rescued small person from under the bed repeatedly), planned a trip to Beale Park, was given a loom bracelet, put up a travel cot (can't get it down again) fitted car seats etc etc.
I fell into bed at 10 and slept through until 6 this morning!

Better is a dinner of herbs where love is, than a stalled ox and hatred therewith.

I was chatting to the partner of hubby's friend James when she suddenly said to me.
'I could never marry James you know'.
I wasn't sure why she suddenly felt the need to share this with me as we hadn't been talking about men or marriage, so I just replied with a non committal 'Mmm'.
She continued 'James isn't smart enough, sometimes when we are going out, I sent him back to get changed.' She explained 'He only has one small pile of clothes whereas I had 4 wardrobes full'.
She asked if I had to tell my L&M what to wear when we went out, but I replied that my hubby like to look smart & that I never told him what to wear.
She then said that another reason for not marrying James was that he couldn't offer her the lifestyle she had enjoyed with her husband as he'd been a high powered business man and they'd lived in a 4 bed detached house, this was the husband who'd left her with 3 small children & run off  with his secretary.
Maybe I should have told her I'd had a 6 bed house with almost a quarter acre of garden with my first husband & was now much happier in a small house with a kind husband.

Another busy weekend

Last weekend was very busy, my L&M went to Silverstone to watch the GP, I went to the Hampton Court Flower Show, I was grateful for the invite but could have done without the 4 hours it took to drive the 36 miles to the show!
This weekend I am again a race widow, but this time my L&M has gone with a friend to Wales to watch motorbike racing.
I had great plans for sorting my sewing room last weekend but I only achieved about half of what I had hoped, my doggy visitor and a large helping of exhaustion to paid to the rest.
I've moved the plans to this weekend, but so far I've collected Eileen who is 4 from nursery and taken her to dance class this afternoon, then I took her home & collected Norah, who is almost 8, we had tea, played with the Barbies and now she is asleep upstairs and has been since just before 8 o'clock. In the morning we will make some cakes and then I need to get her home by 11 o'clock so I can collect Suzy who is 11 months. SIL is coaching his son's football team tomorrow and would find it difficult with Suzy, so I will look after her until he's finished.
I'm not sure how far I will get with my plans for sorting my sewing room but it's more important to help out with the grandchildren.

Baby Teachers

This week we've had visits from our new intake of NQT's who are coming to work with us next term.
They can be divided into groups. 
Those who realise they are joining the real world & those who think they are still students.
Some have read the dress code & dress accordingly, some  have read it and think it doesn't apply to them (they are in for a shock).
Then there are those who haven't read the dress code, they are also in for a shock.
I'm running a training course for new and existing staff at the beginning of next term, it will be interesting to see who bothers to turn up, those who don't will struggle. We are having a new system installed over the holiday, most of the existing staff will find it confusing, so the newbies will definitely need to attend, at least half of them won't bother!
DD2 started her new job yesterday, along with 6 other people, she wasn't given any information about dress code & isn't customer facing. She wore black trousers, cream vest top and a thin black cardi.
Three people turned up in jeans and were sent straight home & have lost a shift along with the pay for that shift.

My Diet Buddy

That's it, I think I've cracked it.

I've really struggled with dieting, not helped by all the contradictory advice given to me by the so called 'health professionals'.

I have a dieting buddy, but not the sort you speak to for encouragement and support.

Here he is, my diet buddy, every time I'm tempted to eat something I shouldn't I just think about his little face and it gives me the strength to resist the temptation!

Guest Post

My name is Luna and I'm staying at Nana's house today.

 I like staying with Nana, it's nice and quiet here.

The garden is full of lovely smells and Nana keeps a bowl of water on the decking for me if I get thirsty.

She lets me sit on her knee when she has a Nana nap and although I'm not allowed on her bed at night, she has a very big bed and I'm very small and if she hadn't got up to go to the bathroom she'd never had realised I was there!

 I miss my family, or at least I miss stealing all the treats they leave unattended (well if it's in their hand and not their mouth I class it as unattended).

Last night for tea Nana and I shared a jacket potato with tuna, this morning we shared scrambled egg on toast.

Gratitude

I could complain about the heat, but I’m thankful I’m not toiling outside in the sun.

I could complain about my eyesight, but I’m thankful that I can still see to some extent.

I could complain about my weight, but I’m thankful to have enough food to eat.

I could complain about work, but I’m thankful that I have a job & that I have the health & strength to do the job.

I could complain that I can’t afford a holiday, but I’m thankful  that I have a garden to sit in.