Madness on the roads

I had to drive into town today and it was madness out there.

I drove into the multi-storey car park and joined a queue of 10 cars, we all had to wait whilst the person at the front of the queue took 15 attempts to get their car into the first space in the car park. There were hundreds of empty parking spaces, but no, it had to be that one.

On the way home I ended up following someone who was afraid of heights!
Well I assume that was the problem, they were inching over the speed bumps at a snails pace. They aren't even vicious humps either, I have low profile tyres as did the car in front, but even I can drive over them at 10mph without suffering from vertigo! 

Spring Cleaning

I did a thorough spring clean of the living room today.
I got rid of all the cobwebs and wiped over the mirror and picture frames.
I cleaned the French doors inside and out, washed down all the paintwork and dragged out all the furniture.
The floor was steam cleaned, I even dragged the very heavy TV stand out and cleaned behind it.
The only thing I didn't move (because it's far too heavy) was the fish tank, but I did get behind it with a damp cloth.
I sorted out my yarn corner, decided what colours to use next and took the rest upstairs into my craft room.
I have a small pile of paperwork to sort through and then it's finished.
My poor L&M found it all quite exhausting, he hid in his study and played FreeCell until it was all over.
I also cooked roast lamb with roast potatoes, roast parsnips, stuffing balls, Yorkshire puds, peas, kale and carrot and swede mash.

Next

I think I'll use these colours next

Finally finished

Ta da

Cut it a bit fine

Well I decide to do an extra yellow border on my blanket before the final black one, this is how much yarn I had left at the end, boy did I cut it fine!

Missed a bit

I spread the blanket out to take a pic and then noticed a missed seam and a square in the wrong place. I will sew up the seam and leave the square.

I shall add another black row tomorrow.

Where are the bees

My stress hives are getting bigger and joining together to make big hives, I shall soon be able to keep bees in them.

I think I could win a prize for the world's tightest grandma, I found Easter eggs today for £1, and because I bought 12 I only paid for 10.
They are only small but the kids get lots of eggs each so they only need a token one from me.

As it's the last day of term the staff room fridge was emptied, there were two unopened 6 pint bottles of milk in there. There was also a box of chocolate biscuits left over from an event earlier this week. The bursar said 'Would you DGC use these?'.
'I'm sure they would' I replied and so I popped into DD to give her the goodies.

And I thought I was normal

DD has been discussing her family and background with her psychiatrist, her description of me has led her psychiatrist to believe I'm weird and eccentric!

FAQ

I'm sure you all know what that means, Frequently Asked Questions.
I'm thinking of putting something similar up in my room at work, only mine will be titles SAQ.

Stupidly Asked Questions.
I know the saying 'There is no such thing as a stupid question but I get asked the same stupid questions every day and usually by the same stupid people.

Some people cannot be bothered to speak to our IT team about getting their copier card registered, instead they come in every day and whinge that they can't use the machines.
Every day they bitch and moan and everyday I tell them how to get their card sorted out.

The other ones are those who forget to specify which budget they want their printing charged to. Without this the document won't print, do they do it?
No they stand in my room swearing Buckle & Thong that they definitely set the budget.
They also bitch and moan, say it is the copiers fault, say it is my fault and ask where their document is.
Every day I say 'You need to specify the budget!!!'

Blanket update

The blanket so far, about one third completed so far, lots of ends to sew in.

Are we nearly there yet?

Well yes it seems we are, DD finally has a definitive diagnoses and a treatment plan.
There is no instant cure, it's a condition that need to be managed rather than cured, but fingers crossed we are nearly there now.

Conversations

 A 6th former came to my room today.
'I've come for my printing'
'Sorry I don't have it'
Long suffering sigh, as I'm obviously stupid.
She spoke slowly and clearly 'Do you have a colour printer?'
'Yes' I pointed to the colour printer.
Another long suffering sigh 'Well my printing is on there, I've come to collect it. Mr Drake sent me'
'Do you have Mr's Drakes print card?' I asked.
Another long suffering sigh, she is by now fed up with dealing with an idiot. 'Mr Drake sent my printing to this printer and I've come to collect it'
'Well Mr Drake should have given you his print card as I cannot release print jobs without the card'
By now she is in a complete strop, I'm obviously stupid and difficult and she storms out of my room.
Twenty minutes later she shamefacedly reappears in my room, with the print card, I release her printing and send her on her way!
Now I know that most students are very IT literate and some older people aren't, but I do know how to do my job and she is now aware of that fact.

Hubby walked  into the kitchen, he pointed to the lump of frozen something sitting on the draining board. 'What's that'

'Tea' I replied.

'What's for tea?' he asked patiently.

'Fuck knows' I replied 'whatever that is once it's defrosted.'

It was liver and it was lovely cooked with bacon and onion gravy and mash.

Work problems and one fat leg

When I put my boots on yesterday one of them was harder to zip up than the other.
I took the zip back down and examined my leg, it wasn't sore or hot and didn't appear swollen.
I zipped it up again and it was still hard to zip, so as not to exacerbate the problem I removed the boot and wore shoes to work.
Today I tried again, my leg hadn't troubled me at all yesterday so I thought it worth a go.
I pulled on my boots, raised the zip and same as before the zip on my left leg went up, no problem, the right one was definitely tighter, I took another look and this time realised that as my boots are slouch boots, the top edge was turned in and this was what was causing the problems, I didn't have a fat leg at all.

We had new copiers installed at work at the beginning of the school year. A make we had used years ago and found to be unreliable. I thought it was a bad decision at the time and said so. I made my feelings quite plain but was ignored.

We are now just over six months into our contract and the copiers are proving incredibly unreliable. To add insult to injury every time an engineer comes to repair a fault it is always suggested that the copiers are being incorrectly used. For example the paper is stored too close to them, or I'm putting too many copies through the machines. I've been asked to keep a log of all the faults, I was doing this anyway for my own benefit. Nothing will be done but I'm expecting work to become extremely stressful as it will be incredibly difficult to do my job with unreliable machinery.

Unexpected delivery

DD was feeding the fish this morning, suddenly she called to me excitedly.
'Look nana, 4 new baby Mollies'.
Sure enough, there they were, they must have been hiding, they are now probably too big to be eaten by the bigger fish.

Another day, another diagnosis

I babysat for DD Lizzie this afternoon, she had yet another MH appointment, another Dr/medical expert,  another possible diagnosis!
They are changing her medication almost more often than I change my knickers! All I can do is keep trying to pick up the slack and help where I can

I have bought a pair of skechers to wear on the boat, they seem very non-slip. I will look for yoga trousers, thank you for that suggestion. Failing that I will buy some harvest festival knickers so as not to scare other boaters. (Harvest Festival knickers = all is safely gathered in)

Another machine down at work, it seems I've been using it too much, it reminded me of the  time when I returned a pair of shoes with a snapped strap to a shop, only to be told accusingly 'You've been wearing them'. No shit Sherlock, that's what they are meant for.

A treat this evening, I'm off out for a belated Mothers Day meal with DD Helen, it will be a nice change.

Someone posted a comment on a forum that really touched me, he said 'I can think of lots of reasons you'd be useful if TSHTF (and not just boosting morale) you've a knack of finding a way through troubles and finding the resolve to implement it and generally manage to find a positive in doing so.'

Holiday clothes

We are going on a narrow boat holiday and hubby is worried that I will not manage wearing dresses, but I cannot  wear trousers. My L&M suggested I tried dungarees, I looked in a few places but couldn't find any, so I tried the internet. So how come when I search online for dungarees to buy, the first item to show up is Viagra, and the second is chimney flues!

It's all going terribly well

Well, some things are, my blanket is coming along a treat, I have settled on a black border, I'm trying the join as you go method. I can't find a left handed version to watch on youtube so sometimes I end up trying to crochet with my arms crossed.

DGD stayed last night, she had a bad night, consequently so did I. Today we made cakes, played schools and did a lot of drawing and cutting, I took her home when I collected my L&M from work just after 1 o'clock.

I now have DD1's dogs staying overnight as she and her family have gone to a 100th birthday party.
They mithered a bit when they first arrived but have now settled down to sleep.

All square

All the squares are finished, just need to join as I go. I'll try black first to see if I like it.

Oh I am mean

I was awake for three hours last night, at one point I realised that my hands were so dry they were rustling.
So I reached for the pump action bottle of hand cream I keep on the bedside table.
I cupped my hand under the nozzle and pressed down on the pump.
Unfortunately I didn't put on the light so I was doing this in the light of the TV, I watched as a stream of hand cream arched away from me and on to my L&M's arm.
He immediately stirred, I immediately feigned sleep.
'Eurgh, wassat' he groaned.
I kept very quiet and lay very still.
He nudged me, 'I'm all wet' he complained.
'You mean you've wet the bed?' I asked innocently.
'NO, of course not, my arm is all sticky'
I reached out and scooped up an much hand cream as I could and rubbed my hands together.
'Maybe you had a wet dream' I suggested.
'I'm wet outside the covers and I think I'd know if I had' he grumbled.
'Well I can't feel anything wet' I replied, hurriedly rubbing the hand cream into my arm.
'You probably dreamt it' I reassured him.