Farm2ewe.

I saw a 4x4 with a trailer today, it had a sign on it Farm2ewe, they take farm animals to visit schools. 

This reminded me of when we had this company or one similar attend a school fete. The fete and the animals were a great success, everything went swimmingly, even the weather was glorious.

Part way through the fete a committee member came to find me in a panic, there was a problem with a parent.

I can't remember the parents name and wouldn't print it even if I could.

This parent was barely 18 years old and already had six children, she was very sweet but a little bit lacking in some areas. She had recently found a new boyfriend and attended the fete with him. I don't know if it was the weather, the farm animals or an excess of ice cream but whatever, she and the boyfriend decide to get hot and heavy on the grass just behind where the farm animals were.

My committee colleague had already tried to persuade the couple to restrain their ardour  but had been threatened by the boyfriend. Quite why I was called, I'm not sure but by the time I arrived they were starting to shed their clothes and were attracting quite an audience. 

The only thing I could suggest was to drag out some of the large classroom dividers and place them around the couple to shield their enthusiasm from view. I rounded up her children and mine and treated them all  to a candy floss. As the fete drew to a close I was took her children and mine back to my house for tea. I lived just a few doors from the school and the mum and children knew me and where I lived.