The flat is just new to us Sue, it's in a listed building though out part isn't listed.
Steve has now decided he wants to buy a different flat, probably just because!
Or maybe we should rent a flat instead!
I'm sticking to my guns, I've spent a year longer than I should have living on a boat, trying to explain that was no longer coping.
I need some quality of life, some company and regular contact with my family.
11 comments:
Stick to your guns. Being around your family will be wonderful for you.
I know Steve doesn't fully understand your predicament, and also that his personality change is not in any way his fault.
However, he really needs to get it into his head that he's not the only one who matters here. You have been more than tolerant in order for him to stay on the boat, and it wasn't the best thing for him either, but of course, he couldn't see that.
You will both be a lot safer on dry land, with proper access to medical care, shops, and most importantly, your family!
I feel you're going to have to harden your heart, and be as selfish as Steve can be, otherwise he'll keep on with his silly ideas, again, not his fault, but there comes a time when you have to say "NO'' and stand your ground.
Hopefully, once you're settled in the flat, and both seeing your children and grandchildren a lot more, Steve will realise how much better it is for both of you to be landlubbers again!
Take care,
Col X
Col has said it all. Steve, I'm afraid, will always be thinking in a different way to how he was before his stroke and you will be the only one fit to make important decisions. The flat will be what's needed for you both to live a safe life with help at hand when needed and access to shops, transport and family.Once you've had chance to settle with all your belongings around you, hopefully Steve will feel more at home and stop thinking somewhere else would be better. I do hope you be able to continue with your blog.
-Rosemary
I trust your sound judgement and wish you the best. It will so nice when you are safely settled near family.
I came on to comment, and see that Col has already said what I wanted to (and better than I would have expressed it). Perhaps Steve could grasp that it's logical to stay put for a while to reaadjust to land life if nothing else, and only then to review where you are and how it's working for the two of you.
Looking forward to hearing how the move goes
Just show Steve the rapidly rising flat prices in your area and remind him what a good investment you have made at just the right time. Then tell him how much rent it would be per month, per year and per ten years just to rent and let him imagine paying out that kind of money with nothing to show for it at the end. He'll soon realise you've done the right thing, especially when all the familiar things are unpacked and around you both again and you can finally relax.
Once again I cannot think of anything useful to add to what the other readers have written. You do have some wonderful people who follow you , care about you and give great advice. Wishing you well, as always.
Agree with all the other comments. Catriona
It has to be so hard to be the one in the caregiving position, even though your Hubs may not think he needs to be cared for. Oxygen mask on you, first. Can't pour from an empty cup. All ways to say you must put self care first, or you cannot help anyone. Being isolated (as on the boat) messes with our minds, we are herd animals, and being with our herd helps us feel safe. I am glad you will be on dry land, and not having to work so hard day to day just to survive. Now there's a chance to thrive. May the Force be with you.
It doesn’t sound as though you are asking too much. Stand firm and I’m sure that all will be well x
My experience with uncle was that sometimes you just had to say - this is how it is. This is the brutal truth and if you want to be able to keep going, then you have to work with me and not against me.
It didn't always work, but I had a few breakthroughs. Sending all good vibes, because it's so tough.
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