Sunday 23 April 2023

Feeling rough

I have good days and bad, today I was ok when I got up and walked Beano, when I got home Steve was in a strop, I've no idea why.

It's coping with Steve's behaviour that does it. He is nowhere near ill enough to need a care home it's just his behaviour that I find so difficult to cope with.

He spend's some days in a strop, we had another visit from a housing manager. This time to tell us that we were doing nothing wrong and the neighbours had been told they had no right to complain.

I've spoken to the Drs, there is no help from there, I just have to put up and shut up!

Steve also says many hurtful things, he claims that he can't tell lies so he just blurts out the truth.

Some months ago he said I needed to start wearing nightwear as the sight of my naked body was making him ill, the phrase pot and kettle came to mind!

He decided he would no longer eat any vegetables as he doesn't like them.

He said I was not to cook for him any more as everything I made was shite. I greeted this with glee as I'm fed up with cooking the few meals he will eat over and over again. Unfortunately this didn't last long once he realised how tiring it is to throw some frozen carp into the air fryer every day. Last week he decided I could take over the cooking again as long as I cooked the stuff he likes. I did, but I really struggle to cook the ready made stuff he likes.

I occasionally cook proper food for myself but mostly I can't be bothered so I make do with a bowl of salad. The advantage with salad is that it doesn't smell much so Steve can't complain that my food is making him feel ill.

10 comments:

Lynda said...

I’m so sorry you’re going through all this; the stress has to be taking a major toll on you....wish I could help somehow.

flis said...

I'm pleased that the neighbours been put in their place anyway - and regarding your husband - could it be possible that I have his twin? x

Donna said...

I'm so sorry, Hester...There has to be Something out there that can help you...I'm sure he doesn't mean to be so hurtful as it's the disease talking. Maybe hire someone to come in one day a week so you can go out for a rest? I don't know...I'm just so sorry!
HUG
Donna

momsav said...

I’m so sorry that you have to deal with this. A friend of mine also had a stroke several years ago. Her husband is treated for PTSD as her carer. I had no idea it could be this bad. I hope you find some relief, somehow. No one should be treated so badly.
Debbie

ShellyC said...

You are being so strong to put up with all this crap. Maybe you should start telling the truth as well.

Robin from P'ville said...

Ugh.

Chris said...

Beano and taking him for walks must be a great comfort to you. I hope things improve.

Ruta M. said...

I too really feel for you and admire the way you cope with what looks to be the most difficult situation. I wonder if it would help if you wrote down, maybe on the pc, the difficult behaviour and comments on a daily basis so that eventually you could have them to show to whoever might be able to provide support; doctor, mental heath team, social services or a charity. It's possible that showing how things were getting worse or how bad they are might prompt somebody into giving you some support. Stay strong and know that your blog friends are rooting for you.

Rambler said...

I'm so pleased to hear that you have been reassured by the manager that you are doing nothing wrong and that your neighbours have been reprimanded form their unfounded complaints. I hope they settle down now and leave you in peace. You have quite enough on your plate!
Would Steve respond to being told in no uncertain terms exactly how he's making you feel? Or would you be scared of him lashing out at you? It's not easy when it's just the two of you on your own, but totally unfair that he can get away with being so cruel and getting away with it. Would he respond/ listen to anyone else within your family? Are they even aware of what is going on? It's affecting your mental health and if you haven't the heart to feed yourself properly, your physical health as well. There MUST be a solution.

kate steeper said...

If only there was a solution for the crappy days , but there just isnt . Ive been bawled at several times today for not doing stuff fast enough for his liking . For his lunch he wanted a toasty and i had no cheese i quite deliberately took an ancient Camembert from the freezer peeled and slapped some chutney on it . He ate the lot then asked why i didnt make decent toasties all the time . This is after the lecture about him only liking certain cheese and none of that foreign muck.....little victories chuck

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