No talking

I don't often talk to Steve, he refuses to wear his hearing aids as he doesn't think he needs them and he isn't interested in anything I may have to say.

If I do speak to him he makes a huge production of putting in his hearing aids, accompanied by much huffing and puffing. Obviously it is necessary to make me understand how much of an inconvenience I am.

He is greatly aggrieved with me going out with Betty, he feels I should stay in the flat apart from when I walk Beano.

He claims he worries when I go out, but he isn't worried enough to walk Beano with me even though he knows I have difficulty crossing the road.

Today Betty and I went to a local garden centre for lunch, jacket potato with tuna mayo from Dobies this time and then on to Asda for some shopping. I bought some grapes, no clothes for me, Betty bought some trousers. I'm out again tomorrow with my daughter,  Beano is coming with me.

I miss my husband.

I miss the cuddles and the sex, I miss not being able to walk past him without him copping a feel.

I miss his dreadful jokes and I miss him waffling on about the Grand Prix for hours.

I miss him pointing out places he'd worked and jobs he'd done.

I miss him pointing out ladies wearing shoes he liked.

That's all gone now, he sits in his chair and glowers out the window, endlessly complaining about the weather, the neighbours, the garden.

Sometimes like today he goes into town and spends the day drinking in a pub.

Money, money, money.

My pension was paid into my bank today, I immediately transferred £200 into my savings account. I need to start building up my savings as they were wiped out paying for Beano's treatment. The insurance company have paid up but not the full amount.

I shall carry on paying for Beano's insurance for a while but once my savings are topped up I will cancel it.

Depending on other expenses during this month, if there is anything left at the end of the month that too will be transferred to my savings account. I also draw cash out of the bank regularly and keep a stash hidden in the flat.

We don't have a mortgage to pay as we bought our flat outright, the other bills are for electric, council tax and food etc. There is no gas supply to the flats. I play £226 which is to the HA which covers things like the gardeners, outside lights etc.

Steve pays for the electric, council tax and the shopping, our food bill is high because Steve will eat only junk food and he drinks a lot. 

I'm spending more than I used to because I'm going out with Betty every week and we have lunch out and take it in turns to pay. I buy food for the lunches we have in the summer house on Tuesdays. I also buy stuff for Beano at the nearby pet shop.

Wet and windy here today.

So I'm having problems trying to persuade Beano to go out.

We have a Tesco delivery today, I wonder whether Steve will complain that I'm interfering if I try to put some of the stuff away. Or will he complain that I don't help if I sit on the sofa and ignore the delivery.

That he will complain is a given!

Sometimes I feel like setting up a recorder just so I could playback the hours of complaining and whinging he does on a daily basis.

Actually I managed to upset Steve before the shopping arrived.

Beano's vet bill came to around £800 which wiped out my savings. Then Steve decided to update his wardrobe and purchased items from Amazon. All purchases from Amazon come out of my bank account and I went in the red. Cue much wailing and gnashing of teeth from Steve.

I told him he'd need to transfer money from the savings to my account, this he has now done but the fuss he made was ridiculous. I was overdrawn by £23! My pension goes in this weekend and then I'll be in the black again!

Replies

Annabeth, our surgery has one part time Dr on two mornings a week so I have little chance of getting an appointment.

Donna, I copied in the managers boss when I sent the email so she must be aware. I believe they are just generally disinterested.

Cover manager.

I've finally received a reply from the cover manager about the lighting problem.

I've obviously rattled her cage, her reply is quite stroppy.

She assures me that she responded in a timely manner and my complaint about the lights not working from Wednesday was unwarranted.

It seems that as I'm old and obviously senile I didn't realise that Wednesday counts as the weekend! She also claims that she wasn't informed that the lights weren't working in the corridors. This despite her receiving three emails from different residents all of which explained that the lights weren't working in the corridors, and also explained that the lack of natural light in these corridors made them challenging to walk through.

I've probably made an enemy but I'm not particularly bothered.

Normalish.

Actually I'm still lurching from crisis to crisis here but life is calming down.

Beano is back to his old self and quite perky. It's such a relief as I was very worried about him. Having said that, I made it quite clear to the vet that I didn't want Beano to suffer and I would have him put to sleep if that was the case. I am aware that I lavish love on Beano because he's all I have. Steve has made it quite plain that he has no affection left for me as I'm old! I have to say the feeling is reciprocated, not because he's old but because he is so unpleasant and unkind.

The lighting situation on site is still not completely resolved but the emergency lighting is now working. I sent an assortment of emails to various PTB which ensured the safety of the affected residents. The HA tried to blame their delay in sorting out the lights on it being the weekend. I informed them that the situation started on Wednesday as they were well aware and as far as I'm aware Wednesday is not the weekend.

I'm hoping to go out a couple of times next week so Steve has announced that he is going out every day and I need to stay home with Beano. We will see how that pans out, I'm only going out for a couple of hours each time and although Beano doesn't like being left he will be ok.

I'm beginning to have serious concerns about Steve's mental capacity, I have zero chance of getting him to the Drs so for now I will just keep buggering on.