Actually I'm still lurching from crisis to crisis here but life is calming down.
Beano is back to his old self and quite perky. It's such a relief as I was very worried about him. Having said that, I made it quite clear to the vet that I didn't want Beano to suffer and I would have him put to sleep if that was the case. I am aware that I lavish love on Beano because he's all I have. Steve has made it quite plain that he has no affection left for me as I'm old! I have to say the feeling is reciprocated, not because he's old but because he is so unpleasant and unkind.
The lighting situation on site is still not completely resolved but the emergency lighting is now working. I sent an assortment of emails to various PTB which ensured the safety of the affected residents. The HA tried to blame their delay in sorting out the lights on it being the weekend. I informed them that the situation started on Wednesday as they were well aware and as far as I'm aware Wednesday is not the weekend.
I'm hoping to go out a couple of times next week so Steve has announced that he is going out every day and I need to stay home with Beano. We will see how that pans out, I'm only going out for a couple of hours each time and although Beano doesn't like being left he will be ok.
I'm beginning to have serious concerns about Steve's mental capacity, I have zero chance of getting him to the Drs so for now I will just keep buggering on.
16 comments:
My friend had a dog who didn’t like being left so she would leave the radio on low for her. Hope you manage to get out for a few hours as it will do you the world of good.
I have a similar situation here - Tried Dr who though willing to invite him in for a chat said there is little he can do if he denies any problems - He said please call emergency services if he got worse - All I do is muddle along as trying to help him worsens his "stress" as he calls it - I have to now leave it to professionals x
Ps - This week I left my dogs for 3 and half hours - This is rare for me to do - but I went to a funeral x
I feel for you I really do but please don't stay in a loveless marriage. I don't know how you tolerate your husband's unpleasantness and unkindness. I'm glad Beano is better. Helen x
You don't have to keep buggering on, if you can't get him to see a dr or be kinder to you then keep building your escape fund and making a plan to leave. Do something to that end every day whether it's sorting finances or de cluttering or home hunting and get some support from your children, if they can help you with anything no matter how busy they are they will -if YOU ask! They won't know you need need them if you don't tell them.I know it's not easy to admit but you deserve better & Beano does too. love Carrie x
I'm glad Beano is better. Steve sounds very controlling - do your own thing Sue, don't let him win every time. Easy for me to say I know. I have problems with my OH as you know, but at least he's not controlling and, despite his occasional rudeness, I know the love is still there, for us both. x
Good news about Beano and hooe you can have your outings for the sake of your own wellbeing. Catriona
Please prepare yourself to leave this situation. It will only get worse. You will be so much better off without Steve. Have some peace.
My last dog had Separation Anxiety and leaving him home alone was not an option. So I sorted out cafes or restaurants/pubs where dogs were welcome. It was good to know there were places where I could spend time with friends without having to leave him on his own.
Glad Beano is better.
At 82 years old I left a relashionship in which I was very unhappy. Prior to leaving I added to an escape fund for two years and in Sept. 2023 moved out.
If I can do it at that age, you can too. Your situation is different than mine was, however, for your own sanity, seriously think about yourself. Seek advise, as it sounds as if he is getting to be more abusive, and who knows what it might lead to.
Please seek help.
Do what you want and enjoy what you can.
Wise words Ellen D. x
So glad you are branching out - going out, cooking for the group (where they appreciate what you make). Also very happy that Beano is doing well!! When we are under tremendous stress, self-care seems to be the first thing that goes. Good for you!
Cheryl
No one deserves to be treated as he treats you. Please be kind to yourself.
It's just that he CAN be nice, if he wants to, with friends. So, to me, he is choosing to be not-nice to you. I'm not convinced that it's linked to his stroke, or maybe in the way that he thinks: 'life is too short, I'm going to choose ME'.
I'm so happy your pup is better.
I'm also sorry your husband is a self centered,rude jerk.
Does your phone take photos?
Take some of Steve and show them to him.
He needs a wake up call.
I think your blog friends are right.
Save all you can.
Make an escape plan. Let your daughters know how bad it is. Keep going out and meeting people.
You deserve a life free of daily misery.
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