The problem with having no life in real life is that it is tempting to spend too much time on line. I need to limit myself.
My birthday meal out was buggered up by the restaurant being overrun by small boys and I can't reschedule as I was only able to go because CHS had a visitor.
I'm sometimes at a loss to know what to do with myself.
Lucy at Attic24 is releasing another crochet along starting in January, I may see if I have enough yarn to follow her.
I know things will get easier in time, though the discharge team have now decided that CHS is not to be left alone until the end of January.
He is still having visits and appointments with assorted therapists, two or three a week.
CHS fortunately has a couple of people he can chat to on the marina, he also tires easily. Two ten minute walks a day and a ten minute chat is all he needs to stop him going stir crazy.
We collect one of the dgd's from nursery once a week and take her for lunch and we shop once a week.
We don't go out at the weekends as everywhere is crowded and he cannot cope with crowds.
We went to a local retail outlet for coffee once but the fire alarm went off so he won't go back now. Mind you at £10 for two coffees it's not something we would do regularly.
I had planned to attend a local crafternoon but I had to withdraw. I was looking forward to some conversations about something other that boat porn.
It's time I stopped whingeing isn't it!
15 comments:
It is hard. My husband had a stroke 4 years ago. Is there a stroke association near you. The one here has two or three sessions a week but if that is too much for CHS perhaps they have volunteers who can visit him while you are out. As a carer you are entitled to an assessment of your needs. It will get easier. I enjoy your blog.
I was going to say, you need to apply for a carer's assessment for your own needs. If you can get someone to sit with him for an hour or so at a regular time each week, hopefully you can go out and do whatever you want to do. Have you had the forms for attendance allowance? The Stroke Association or local Age UK should have an advocate who will help you fill the forms out and submit them in the appropriate language. My father got help with my mother from both the local carer's support service and the blind association. The lady who originally came from the latter, stayed for ten years and became a good friend. My mother loved her dearly because she was "her's" but hated the carer support person because she was giving my father a break from being constantly with her.
There is a stroke association near us but it would be too much for him at the moment. I did ask about getting a break but I need to have been caring for much longer before I am eligible.
I understand how hard it is for you as my husband feels exactly the same. I am housebound and my husband to all intents and purposes is my carer, but it's different for us as I can be left alone, which my husband does regularly at the moment as he visits his mother in Southampton who is 92 and hasn't been well, in and out of hospital, so he feels duty bound to go and is gone all day. He also, during the summer, plays bowls at the local club and he goes into Exeter to meet up with an old friend he used to work with. Every few months or so he goes to a Carers meeting, which isn't an official meeting, but a few of the carers still meet up. He does get frustrated at not 'having a life', but it is far better than mine and after eleven years I'm used to it. I'm not complaining about it, but just saying how it is for me. My disability is physical and I still have an active mind and I'm sorry to say that I do spend time visiting blogs morning, afternoon and night, just catching up. I wish it was different, but it is what it is.
There is light at the end of your tunnel come January so that's something for you to look forward to.
Feel free to whinge away if it helps. Your virtual friends are here for you in good times and bad. How about a new hobby? You could spend lots of time researching some of the crafts? (Although I know your space is limited.). Hugsx
I know exactly how you are feeling my husband has had what we thought were Tia's as he had two strokes years ago and his symptoms are very much the same slurred slurred speech and losing the use of his leg at A&e on the second visit that's what they diagnosed but after seeing the consultant he is not sure what is causing it and has ordered an mri which is in a week and a half , I am exactly the same i can't leave him alone , It's been two weeks since the last one but i cant do my market so income is down too, Hope your husband continues to recover and quickly too xxx
Use the internet to vent as much as you need to - heaven knows it's one of the most useful functions being online can offer. Being a full time carer is really tough. You might feel guilty at 'abandoning' CHS or at forcing him to go somewhere or do something he's not comfortable with but I can tell you from personal experience it's so important to have a little time for yourself, especially when you're living in such close quarters. Best of luck and roll on January!
Hello Sue, is it such a bad thing to spend to much time online. It would be better than going stir crazy also you are giving yourself something to do. It will relieve stress.
It's really difficult not to be able to do stuff.
Hello Sue,
I understand so much what is going to for you and your husband. I moved in December and had a stroke in February and was in hospital for 3 weeks. My daughter moved about 5 miles from me which was so lucky. I moved from a house to a little bungalow which is good. Fortunately I can live alone. There are lots of things I can not do but the one thing that has kept me sane is crochet (only easy pattern). They helped me a lot at the stroke association but if cause it does not last for ever. It there is anything I can help with talking to you about I will give you my phone if it helps. Please look after your self Sue and do hope your husband get the help he needs.
Hazel cuk
"It's time I stopped whingeing isn't it!"
Far from it! I don't know how you achieve what you do.
A wonderful person like you is definitely allowed a little grouse* the odd time.
W
*or, if the notion takes you, a very large Grouse with the mixer of your choice ;)
I prefer gin thank you Want.
Bloody predictive text, W, not want.
I think you are doing amazingly well. It's good to sound off sometimes and that's what your blog friends are for. I think it's lovely to have a circle of blogs to read and to provide us with a bit of interaction when we need it.
yeabut .... gin didn't suit the play on words.
W
My husband has been diagnosed as having Alzheimers disease. The future looks grim.....
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