A few days peace.

Steve has spent the last few days doing errands with our neighbour Harry.

They have visited B&Q, Howdens, the local tip twice and assorted garden centres.

I know Steve found it hard when I gave up driving as did I. So going out and about with Harry does him good, though it does mean he has to save up all his moaning until he gets home. They usually go out in the morning, they often lunch out in Morrison's cafe and usually get back by 3 in time to attend the summer house meeting. So it's just gone 5 by the time Steve gets in and he goes to bed before 9 so it does somewhat limit his moaning time.

It's sunny out and definitely getting warmer though we have more rainy days due.

As for the suggestions that I leave Steve to his own devices for a few days, my daughters have 10  children and two dogs between them. I can think of nothing worse than staying with them.

I also rarely shout at Steve because it achieves nothing, he immediately gets defensive and claims he only shouts because I'm deaf.

I prefer to stay calm, wait until he has calmed down and then tell him quietly that his behaviour is unacceptable.

Chris, thank you, I find many people have no understanding of the complexities of living with a stroke survivor.

DD1 will hopefully have three more children by the end of the year. I'm not sure she will be able to hang on that long as I'm sure social services will be tugging at her heart strings before long. Her oldest is moving out, he was all set to go some time ago but he had a car accident and broke a bone in his back. He's been in a brace but it is coming off soon and then he will fly the nest. 

The siblings that she has are going to move into his self-contained annex, there are just a few jobs to do to get it ready for them. There will then only be the 12 year old and the twins left in the main house.

Stressed

 Steve is sat in his chair, he is seething although I'm not sure why.

It could be because he's just realised that's I'm still paying for the Wi-Fi on the boat! As I didn't know he'd set it up in my name it's not surprising.

He may just be in his usual seething strop.

Maybe someone upset him when he went to the summer house this afternoon.

Maybe he didn't like the fish I cooked for his evening meal.

There is never any real reason apart from that he'd rather still be living on a boat.

He couldn't manage but he won't accept it.

DD1 visited today, he was polite but not happy that she was here.

DD2  was supposed to be coming round but hasn't arrived so far. So Steve is annoyed about that. He expects everyone to jump to do his bidding and makes no allowance for people having their own lives to live!

I can't get warm, it's very cold today and rainy.

Feeling rough

I have good days and bad, today I was ok when I got up and walked Beano, when I got home Steve was in a strop, I've no idea why.

It's coping with Steve's behaviour that does it. He is nowhere near ill enough to need a care home it's just his behaviour that I find so difficult to cope with.

He spend's some days in a strop, we had another visit from a housing manager. This time to tell us that we were doing nothing wrong and the neighbours had been told they had no right to complain.

I've spoken to the Drs, there is no help from there, I just have to put up and shut up!

Steve also says many hurtful things, he claims that he can't tell lies so he just blurts out the truth.

Some months ago he said I needed to start wearing nightwear as the sight of my naked body was making him ill, the phrase pot and kettle came to mind!

He decided he would no longer eat any vegetables as he doesn't like them.

He said I was not to cook for him any more as everything I made was shite. I greeted this with glee as I'm fed up with cooking the few meals he will eat over and over again. Unfortunately this didn't last long once he realised how tiring it is to throw some frozen carp into the air fryer every day. Last week he decided I could take over the cooking again as long as I cooked the stuff he likes. I did, but I really struggle to cook the ready made stuff he likes.

I occasionally cook proper food for myself but mostly I can't be bothered so I make do with a bowl of salad. The advantage with salad is that it doesn't smell much so Steve can't complain that my food is making him feel ill.

Pack rat

Our neighbour Harry is a pack rat.

His flat is rammed full, he has not only his furniture but also his mothers furniture which he had delivered to his flat when she died.

On top of this, he regularly checks out the communal  bin store for any treasures another resident may have disposed of, he had four ironing boards at the last count.

He has three storage containers outside, one of which belongs to this flat I believe.

We bought our own as Steve wanted a particular style.

There is an area by the front door which is also full of Harry's treasures. These include, amongst other things, a 4 or 5 hacksaws with no blades, an assortment of hammers and a lump of wood, that's about four foot long and two foot square!

He also has deliveries most day, lots from a company called Must Have Ideas.

Once or twice a week his cleaner visits, when she's finished there are a couple of huge black sacks and a huge pile of recycling by his front door, ready for her to take to the bins.

Stressed

We had a visit today from the temporary manager, I've no idea why as I only arrived back from walking the dog as she was leaving.

I shall email her tomorrow to try and discover what is going on.

I think one of the residents has made a complaint about Steve, it wouldn't surprise me as he does seem to be falling out with everybody.

He has decided he wants to move to Newbury, this is fine but I don't want to move.

If he does go I shall have to move as I can't afford to live here alone.

Time will tell!

I'm cooking today.

Steve won't eat what I cook but there is plenty of frozen food for him to cook.  

We had roast lamb y'day, I've cut up the rest of the meat and cooked it with onions and potatoes, I'd have liked to add some carrot, but I have none.

I'm cooking potatoes and onions and when they are done I shall mash them together with some grated cheese, place the mix in a shallow Le Cruset pan, top with a sliced tomato and cook until it is brown on top.

It's an old school dinners recipe that I know Steve won't eat, he won't eat the lamb either as it's now soft, melt in the mouth. He prefers his meat chewy.

Communal living.

Some people are suited to it and some are not. I manage by being friendly to people but I keep my distance. It works for me.

Steve wants to be everybody's best friend which doesn't work well at all.

Yesterday he was clearing a patch of garden when a resident, John, shouted at him. Steve was refusing to go in to the garden ever again. But Harry has persuaded him to go out.

Historically the gardens here were maintained by a company, at some point the residents decided they'd rather manage the garden themselves and just have the company to mow the grass.

We have a small amount of garden outside our front door and below our bay window. These are ours to maintain, but, there's always a but isn't there! Some other residents feel they have the right to interfere.

There is no resident manager currently, the previous residential manager left some months before we moved here. Then there was a new manager appointed but she left after a few months.

The residential manager had friends amongst the residents here. This caused many problems mainly as lots of interesting and supposedly private titbits of knowledge were shared by the manager with those of the residents who were her special friends! Incredibly unprofessional of her I'm sure.

Eventually the manager left or was sacked though I don't know which. Those who were her special friends were upset, mainly as they no longer had access to information about their neighbours.

There was a new manager who was responsible for two courts when we first moved in but she left after a few weeks. She didn't drive and was travelling from London every day.

Our next manager, when one is appointed, will work alternate weeks between here and another site. Working 3 days one week and 2 days the next. Meanwhile we are still being charged for our non-existent manager. Things are afoot to challenge this.

Steve is gradually planting up our small area and upsetting our neighbours at the same time. He has planted a Peace rose, a clematis and some lavender. Bob the Knob has very strict requirements about any planting and we are expected to clear our planting plans with him as he has a list of plants he hates. He particularly hates poppies so no doubt I will plant some of those. 

John, upstairs doesn't wish to see anybody in the garden as it spoils his view. So he shouts at everyone, I have an old, short phrase that I shout back. Quite how he expects me to take Beano out for a walk without going through my front door, I'm not sure.

Another resident, Dora, owns a cat, a large and unfriendly tom cat that bears an uncanny resemblance to Nanny Ogg's cat Greebo. Poor Beano is terrified of the brute and will go to great lengths to avoid it. Dora also feels the need to check out planting in case we should wish to plant anything that will harm her cat. Whilst I'm not keen on her cat, I do like cats in general and I'm well aware of which plants are toxic to cats and would never plant anything poisonous. She still feels the need to check regularly. Dora was originally very welcoming when we first arrived but when she visited and asked for a lift to town and I explained that I no longer had a car she did not call again.

Rain Dogs

I watched 2 episodes of Rain Dogs yesterday and really enjoyed it.

Steve was out with his friend Bob so I could watch it in peace.

I usually only watch stuff I've watched before as that way I can still follow the plot despite Steve's constant interruptions.

He gets very upset it I ask him to shush.

He is out again next week so I'm hoping to watch more then.

Drs this morning and another moan about my blood pressure, I did suggest that if they could do something about Steve's behaviour my BP would improve but to no avail. They cannot see the connection.

I've reduced my mobile phone bill from £54 to £12, I told Steve hoping he'd be pleased but he just started shouting because I hadn't done it earlier. He just wants an excuse to shout, probably because he'd rather live on a boat, I'd rather he lived on a boat too!

I've also managed to get WhatsApp working again, this is good as it's how I contact my daughters.

Garden again!

Poppy, I have no problem with the dog wood being trimmed back but this has been butchered, there is nothing left above ground. As I said he has also killed an Acer and decimated a Buddlia which will, I'm sure recover.

I'm at a loss to understand the residents who think it is their decision as to what plants people are allowed to plant outside their own flat

Garden wars

There used to be a beautiful dogwood in the flower bed opposite our living room window.

I was very upset when Bob the Knob butchered it.

I discovered recently that Harry our neighbour was also upset, in fact he was so upset that he cut down a dead bush that Bob the Knob was very attached to.

So now we have garden wars ongoing!

I spent one morning sat on the grass when it was sunny, Bob the Knob was incandescent with rage. I am perfectly entitled to sit there but I shan't sit there again. 

The space outside our front door is quite a sun trap, when the weather warms up I will sit there with Beano.

Gardening

I've planted some lavender plants  by my door and some in a trough on the gravel.

I'm going to put a chair out there and sit in the sun.

I have a couple of troughs that I will fill with pansies and other pretty flowers.

Beano loves to be outside so he can sit there with me.

I'm hoping to buy a Crocosmia as I love them, so far I can only seem to find them 30 at a time.

Steve has been attacking the area outside our front window so if I do the patch by the front door we can each plant what we want.

Saturday

Thankfully we've had no rain today, yesterday it rained almost all day. This meant that Beano did not want to go out. I managed to get him under the nearest tree for as quick wee a couple of times but that was it.

Today Beano has had three very long walks and will go out at least twice more before bedtime.

Steve has turned the heating on for a coup!e of days so it's warm in the living room. We don't use the heating in the rest of the flat.

The unit Steve purchased to go in the bay window is constantly covered in gibble as is the matching unit he purchased to stand the TV on.

We now have a dining table, I'm sure that too will soon be covered, I took a pic as soon as Steve had finished putting it together.

Steve bought the wrong one as this is Grey and doesn't match the other units, nemind