Steve is sat in his chair, he is seething although I'm not sure why.
It could be because he's just realised that's I'm still paying for the Wi-Fi on the boat! As I didn't know he'd set it up in my name it's not surprising.
He may just be in his usual seething strop.
Maybe someone upset him when he went to the summer house this afternoon.
Maybe he didn't like the fish I cooked for his evening meal.
There is never any real reason apart from that he'd rather still be living on a boat.
He couldn't manage but he won't accept it.
DD1 visited today, he was polite but not happy that she was here.
DD2 was supposed to be coming round but hasn't arrived so far. So Steve is annoyed about that. He expects everyone to jump to do his bidding and makes no allowance for people having their own lives to live!
I can't get warm, it's very cold today and rainy.
12 comments:
I really do not know how you stand him , I know he had a stroke but it there any reason for being so obnoxious. You are a lot more patient than I am I would not be able to put up with his childish behaviour.
I find that since mines retirement - I have to listen to him all day - I wouldn't mind if he wasn't so miserable ,negative,moaning and downright rude - For my survival I have to let him stew - Otherwise I'm ill myself x
It must be so hard for you. I wouldn't be able to stay with him.
Well, after putting up with my hubby's ridiculous attitude for 47 years, I woke up one morning and told him "I'm outta' here buster!", "I've had enough..."
Long long story short, he woke up...and I came back. It's very different here now. He's kind and loving, like he used to be. But he hadn't had a stroke or anything medical...just a stinky attitude and I'd had enough of it.
We are now going on 51 years married and he's a good as ever. He really needed that wake up call.
I pray your hubby get His wake-up call soon...it's too stressful to spend time being wasted on fighting. At my now 71 soon to be 72 years...I refuse to waste any more of our precious lives on anger.
Hope you can figure things out...
BIG Hug
Donna
I think I would try what Donna did... leave for a bit, hoping it would make him realize what's been going on. Could one of your daughters put you and Beano up for awhile??
Hugs
So he has the capacity to be polite.
He just chooses not to bother using it on you.
Stop cooking his food. He is able to cook his own junk food.
Stop taking his abuse because it's destroying your health.
Stop being his whipping boy. You do not
Deserve this. Use your cell phone to record
His behavior. It stresses me to know how awful your life is honey.
I'm not going to suggest that you leave Steve, even temporarily, as I know how seriously you take your marriage vows.
I am, however, wondering if, when Steve's getting stroppy with you, whether you get stroppy right back? If he shouts, shout back, but bang your hand down on a table or worktop at the same time, be more noisy and aggressive than he is, to let him know how it feels!
Could you perhaps give him a bit of his own attitude back?
If he complains that the smell of vegetables cooking makes him sick, let him know that his farts make you feel sick, but he still does it!
If he mentions your body making him ill, point out that he's not exactly Mr Universe, a d tell him that looking at him makes you ill too!
Anything he says or does, say or do it back, but with bells on!
He's getting away with doing and saying whatever he wants to you, and it's way beyond time for that to stop.
I know the stroke changed his personality, but he's perfectly capable of moderating his behaviour as and when he chooses to. If he wasn't, he would have treated someone in the outside world the way he treats you, and probably been arrested by now!
Please, please stand up to him, and if he snaps and raises a hand to you, you can get him removed from the flat, which would also mean he was getting treatment.
You cannot and should not allow his behaviour towards you to continue! X
I agree with Donna and Bettina, could you ask your daughter if you and Beano could have a break away from all the stress for awhile. It may bring him to his senses and realise what life would be like without you.
Maybe you should have a little break away from your traumatic home life for a few days, could you stay with one of your daughters for a night or two?
It does sound as if Steve has awareness of his behaviour because he does modify it when other people from your complex are about. I think you need to start biting back at him when he is so aggressive towards you. You deserve a quiet life yourself.
Some of these comments are disgraceful. Saying what you should and shouldn't do and what he should and shouldn't do.
He has had a STROKE. A stroke alters a person's brain and sometimes their body, leaving them unable to act in their usual ways and unable to comprehend what is happening to them. Where is the compassion for this man?
Hester if you're his carer and unable to show sympathy then you shouldn't be with him.
Just disgraceful, every post slagging him off.
PS- Chris?
You just said what you admonished the rest of us for doing...
"Hester, if you're his carer and unable to show sympathy then you shouldn't be with him".
Hummmmm? lol
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