I'm losing my confidence, I've made brownies and rice pudding for lunch club today but Steve is convinced that what I make is crap so I'm becoming concerned.
I'm supposed to be making the main course next week and I've been asked to make soup for the soup club.
I used to enjoy cooking but stopped cooking for Steve earlier in the year when he said everything I cooked was crap!
Steve is currently in full on whinge mode, everything I've done is rubbish. I was really looking forward to today but I may now just send Steve over with the food and take Beano out for a walk instead.
24 comments:
Hello xx I remember you saying you were going to join in with all the socialising as you felt isolated on the boat….please go don’t let s wear away your confidence xx from what you say Steve has changed and his opinions are at best sketchy I’m trying to be polite.
I’m sure your food will be enjoyed please go and cook what you were going to ask s to leave kitchen his opinion is not needed
Happy Halloween xxx
Why would you believe anything Steve says? Go and enjoy yourself.
Wot Tessa said. Steve needs to sit down and give his mouth a chance.
Oh, it has to be so hard to live under the lash of his criticisms. I am so sorry. His assessment of food isn't to be trusted. Go to and take the lovely soup you make, whether he likes it or not. You can't please him either way, so please yourself.
so sorry to hear this. It's too late now, but I hope you went xx
Ditto what Tessa said. I am not so polite though, that man needs a good kick on the backside. he is downright rude!!!
Steve should be wearing that rice pudding. Cheeky thing.
Keep cooking as you always have, the food hasn't changed, don't worry
please take no notice of what he says, his lives on crap he's gaslighting you and is probably jealous,don't let him isolate you, keep cooking and socialising, you need it xxx
Why do you even listen to him?
A long time ago I learned a skill in couples counseling: if someone were to throw a gross, horrible, sloppy spitball at you, would you spread your arms wide and allow it to splatter all over you, or would you turn aside/move out of the way and let it pass you by?
Ugly words are like spitballs. Don’t let them hit you.
P.S. I’m sure your food is just fine. Go and have fun.
Success is the best revenge 🙂
I am with Tessa! Time to tell Steve that is HIS opinion that your cooking / food is Crap; that doesn't mean that it is! Please ... go to the events with your cooking and not let this continue to isolate you even more, because of his constant harping about your cooking and everything else about you (because of his stroke and attitude). While I understand the strain the constant negativity you get day after day, hour after hour is wearing you out and destroying what confidence you have in living your life, please please try to block out his negative comments and go about your life!!!
Dawn P. Albany, Georgia USA
I hope you can just brush what he says off and continue with your plans for each day - You can't put your life on hold until he is happy - Your health and happiness needs to come first with your Beano - And he can s*d off if he's not happy (In my humble opinion);;;- He does sound just like my husband and his dead mother - Mines been moaning all bloody morning - miserable bugger x
Tell the bully to shove his opinion where the sun doesn't shine and shut his gob.
He is a bully nothing more, nothing less.
Do not let a bully beat you down, Hester, you are worth so much better.
Turn nasty and give him his answer,tell him to shut his gob about your cooking, you'll give him a shock and do him the world of good.
Then put the brush through your hair, some lippy on, stand up straight and walk out to go to the gathering. Stay there and enjoy the compliments about your cooking and then go back home with your head held high.
Every criticism that he voices, give him his answer, stop bring the little woman and start being the strong woman that you've always been - you have us all rooting for you x
I didn't see your post until just now - but I sincerely hope you went to the lunch, taking your rice pudding and brownies with you. I just KNOW they would have been enjoyed, because you are a brilliant cook, always have been - and that hasn't changed. Steve only likes his fried and fatty crap rubbish and refuses to eat good, healthy meals. Tell HIM to stay home if he doesn't want your food; you go and enjoy the company. I wouldn't trust hime to carry your food to the lunch club - it's anyone's guess what he might say about it, or do with it (probably chuck it in a bin!) You should know you can't trust his judgement on food. Ignore the rude and hurtful comments!
I hope you didn't let Steve get to you and not attend. I bet your food is lovely and everyone will/would enjoy it. If he doesn't like it then he need not eat it - let others enjoy it instead. Please don't let him make you a prisoner and stop you from attending events.
it grinds you down day after day and theres no bloody escape is there , i had a house full of men last week and he loves performing for an audience . The silence of this week is doing his head in but im loving it
Please don’t let Steve separate you from your community. And don’t listen to his crap. Just ignore him and when he pushes your buttons, put on your coat and take the dog for a walk. Tell him you no longer value his opinion. Stand up for you.
Please don't let Steve's behaviour put you off cooking and going to the residents meetings. You have said yourself that he only eats fried stuff (crap) His constant complaints about you are a form of coercive control which is isolating you from the company you wanted when you were on the boat.
Like everyone else, I hope you didn't let Steve stop you from going. I really admire you for taking your marriage vows so seriously - in sickness & in health - and standing by him through his illness & subsequent changes. But I hope you can also recognise how his antagonistic attitude is affecting you. Meet people, make friends and enjoy your social life.
You are obviously a strong woman, to put up with what you do, and it's important to realise this. And as for Steve saying your cooking is crap - as others have said, look at what he considers is "good food"!! I think I know which I would prefer...HM brownies & rice pud sound great next to bread crumbed chicken wings, or whatever it is he loves so much.
I hope you went and enjoyed yourself.
Sounds like you may be forgetting to put protection around yourself, sure you know how. Its often difficult to remember we need it, when its family members concerned.
Good luck and stay strong.
Walk in beauty.
Kathy
Well shoot! This was yesterday and I missed it!
Hope you went Anyway! I' positive what you made was Delicious!! His taste buds have been affected by meds...
HUG
Donna
Just reading this, I hope you went and had a great time. Steve's idea of food isn't something most people would eat so who cares what he says. Enjoy yourself.
This is so incredibly sad to hear Hester.
Please keep joining in, everyone will love your home cooked food. Regards Sally
Ditto what everyone else says. I am sure you are a great cook, just from your discussions of food, preparation, selection. Let Steve starve. Do not let him bring you down. Bring your delicious food to the party and let the adulation and appreciation of the other persons restore you. GO YOU
Just look at all these wonderful comments made by an army who have your back. You might not see us, but we are there with you.
Fiona in New Zealand
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