The Bitch Bites Back

I have mostly nice neighbours but one is a nasty piece of work.

Mo is spiteful, spreads rumors, causes trouble wherever she can and bullies those less able to stand up for themselves.

She doesn't work and so has plenty of time on her hands to think about how many problems she can cause.

She tried a power play on me not long after we moved in about 15 years ago, querying how much work we were doing on the house and saying she might have to complain about it. I've had years of practice at dealing with crap. I looked her up and down, sniggered and walked away.

A couple of weeks later my car wasn't on the drive as my son was repairing it. There was a knock on the door, it was about 8:30 in the evening and dark. My L&M answered the door and there stood Mo, skin tight, short skirt, tits hung out to dry. 'I thought I'd pop in for coffee' she said. Ever the gentleman he invited her in made her a coffee and then brought her through to the living room where I was sat! She couldn't get out of the house quick enough.

She phones the council most weeks complaining about the neighbours having trees in the wrong place, rats in the garden and non-existent bonfires.

She has caused endless problems for one of my colleagues, she keeps telling his already insecure wife that she has seen him in various clubs and pubs with other women, at times when he is at work.

So now she has found a new game to play, she left a note on a neighbours car telling them they couldn't park in her road as the car wasn't registered to said road. The car owner asked me if I'd left the note as his car was parked beside my house. I assured him I hadn't left a note. Not getting the desired response she left another note on the car, saying that the car has now been reported to the police and signing it in my name.

He showed me the note, I reassured him that it couldn't possibly be from me as I know how to spell my own surname. This made him laugh so much and the noise brought Mo to her front door.

'What are you laughing at' she shouted.

I replied, 'You, you stupid cow, if you are going to sign my name to your puerile notes, learn to spell my name properly'.