Feel free to moan as much as you want Pat, it's a long, hard grind, being a carer.
I frequently wanted to brain the people who insisted there was help out there I just needed to look harder.
Also those who told me I should make some time for me.
When? When exactly was there time for me when Steve was too scared to be left alone for more than a few minutes.
Take care Pat and have a moan any time you want.
Scrimping and saving, ranting and raving. Past retirement age.
8 comments:
Having been a full-time carer for my wife for almost 10 years, it still amazes me that some people think it's an easy life, it's not.
And the myth that we receive lots of help and support is just that, a myth. I haven't had a day off in 10 years.
Thank you, that's much appreciated. Yes, I've had those "time for yourself" comments too, they've really no idea have they?
Although I did have some "me time" last week, in the hospital waiting room while husband was in having a scan. I fell asleep! It was all of 20 minutes but as sleeping in the daytime isn't allowed at home it was bliss!
I hope you have a good week.
I remember being in tears after ‘they’ told me I’d better look after myself or I wouldn’t be able to look after mum
Pam, I find 'they' are full of bright ideas, but nothing useful.
I am familiar with the "take time for yourself" brigade too. Good job they can't read minds!
I always loved hearing comments about how "the family" should be doing this,that and the other. My OH and myself were both only children with 3 parents with diagnosed dementia living various parts of the country. We both worked full time so had to take the attitude that we did our best and s*d it if we didn't live up to other people expectations. The best was when I was chatting with my Mum's carer outside her house and a neighbour started moaning how 'the family' never visited her as that is what she had told them !
My ex mil has dementia and always says she has no visitors when actually she has quite a few, she just can't remember them.
I also think Walk a mile in my shoes before you tell me what I should be doing.
Our daughter had a stroke before she was born. She has mild/moderate mental retrdation and cerebral palsy, epilepsy from the stroke. She also has ADD-inattentive and High Functioning Autism and Schizophrenia. She has the intellect of a 9 year old, the emotions of a 6 year old and 30 years of living experience. She was recently upgraded to the category that lets her access her needs by date of application. Currently she gets 16 hours of services a MONTH which no agency will take because it's too little. She can get more hours if she uses these hours, which she can't use... She's been on the registry since at least 2005. Her case is not unique. I have friends with disabled family members in Canada, Holland, Australia and other US states. The support just is not there. At least she qualifies for medical programs. Two of her six medications run over $2,800 a month. But these are federal programs. Federal funds passed through the states cover (or don't cover) her support needs.
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