Friday 10 March 2023

Give me strength. Updated.

Yesterday Steve talked all day non-stop, mainly about nothing. 

Some days he barely speaks and usually only grunts if I ask him a question. 

Yesterday he talked about the seeds he has sown and whether or not they would survive being planted out. This sounds ok doesn't it, but he repeated the conversation all day. I tried to explain that he was saying the same thing over and over to no avail.

Today he's panicking about the Tesco delivery, he can follow its progress on his phone and does so obsessively. We have no snow so the roads are clear. The shopping is due in about an hour but he's been following it on his phone since he woke up. He is now in panic mode, pacing the floor, checking his phone for updates. He's going out to  the car park with no coat of jumper as he claims he's hot. He isn't hot, he's panicking. There is no need for panic as the shopping isn't due find almost an hour and if it's late it's not a problem. The flat is freezing as he keeps opening the door to go in and out.

These are not unusual behaviours for a stroke survivor but they become tedious pretty quickly.

The shopping finally arrived at 6pm by which time Steve was beside himself. It's now just gone 9 o'clock and Steve has finally stopped twitching and tapping. 

I'm exhausted!


Sue said...

It is really hard to cope with isn't it.

Thank goodness you have here, your own private blog space, where you can at least get the words out of your head.

I hope the delivery arrived on time and that he managed to settle.

Do these panicky times leave him tired enough to sleep for a couple of hours afterwards, and give you some respite?

Ellen D. said...

Sounds like torture for both of you.
I hope it helps for you to share your worries here.
I wish a doctor could help Steve with therapy or medication. It's so sad.

Chrissie said...

I do so feel for you, it is so exhausting and knowing that you can do nothing about it and also knowing the underlying reason for the behaviour is no comfort. I can empathise as I have a very similar situation with my son ,following brain damage and having epilepsy we have the mood swings, confusion and forgetfulness but he lives in his own flat with assisted living but we are still very much involved, last night he was sending confused texts in the early hours and this morning hyper and forgetful yet yesterday moody and confused , I do so hope that every now and again you can have some you time and having your own health problems gives you extra to cope with - you are an amazing woman x

Sooze said...

I feel for you.

VC said...

God or the universe, (depending on your preference and beliefs) give you strength and grant you patience!

kate steeper said...

we have the same model, himself watched a You Tube video about somebody renovating a car , i yes deared him and he seemed content , then he got on groundhog mode and has repeated it all damned day getting more excited every time wanting me to come and watch it with him ..AAARRRGGGGHHHH

Karla said...

I do feel for you, so very much. It takes a bucket of Jesus, as a friend of mine says, to have the patience for the repetitive talking. I watched my Mom as my Dad would babble on, in his agitated, hostile dementia - and she would "um hm, yes dear, oh my," all the while flipping pages in a magazine. He had sundowners and would get even worse once it started getting dark. She would grind up a Xanax and give it to him in pudding. In about 15 minutes, the Xanax would start to work, and he would stop the babbling, and just watch TV. I don't know if telling you that helps, but it was the only way my Mom could get a little peace each day.

Marjorie said...

Hugs and love. You are amazing.

Anonymous said...

My husband used to do the repeating himself thing a lot and was the same anxiety fest about shopping deliveries appointments etc.If we had a hospital appointment it's an hour & half drive away but he would want to get going at least 4 hours beforehand in case of traffic and parking, when an extra half hour or even an hour would be enough. He would ask about every event over and over again all day long & every day. He was quick to anger and would never back down over anything even if he realised he was wrong about whatever it was we'd be disagreeing about,he would deny the sky was blue and the grass green. I couldn't bear it any longer and I was on the point of leaving him,but I broke down at a Dr's appointment & spoke to our doctor about him. She had him in for a medication review & adjusted his pain meds and it has made an amazing difference. He still has those anxious tendencies at times but it's a LOT less & he's more reasonable if I point out what he's saying without it escalating,he's far more considerate & much more like himself again. He's calmer, more loving and we're closer than ever. He hasn't had a stroke but his behaviour sounds very much like Steve's, if he is on any medication maybe they just need tweaked a bit if that's possible ? It might be worth asking your dr if you can, it could make all the difference to you both!

Lyssa Medana said...

Sending hugs and good vibes x

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