Losing confidence.

I'm losing my confidence, I've made brownies and rice pudding for lunch club today but Steve is convinced that what I make is crap so I'm becoming concerned.

I'm supposed to be making the main course next week and I've been asked to make soup for the soup club.

I used to enjoy cooking but stopped cooking for Steve earlier in the year when he said everything I cooked was crap!

Steve is currently in full on whinge mode, everything I've done is rubbish. I was really looking forward to today but I may now just send Steve over with the food and take Beano out for a walk instead.

Beano.

Laughing hysterically at the thought of Beano ever being hungry!

When we first collected him from the rescue centre we were told to give him three small meals a day until he'd reached his target weight.

We did do this up until he started to ignore the food in his bowl in preference to the treats Steve gives him. 

I've insisted that Steve swapped from ham to chicken in an effort to provide a healthy diet for Beano.

Steve would love to be Beano's favourite person but isn't prepared to make any effort apart from treats.

Beano also prefers women and children to men.

Discombobulated!

Beano doesn't approve of the hour change.

He was wide awake this morning, staring at me, wondering why I wasn't getting up.

This afternoon he was asking for his tea by 2 o'clock so I fed him. He only gets one meal a day so it really doesn't matter when he eats.

He has also gone out for his last constitutional and is now waiting to go to bed.

I'm happy to follow his lead for now, I expect he'll soon adjust to the clocks changing and if he doesnt, it's no big deal.

Rainy days.

We've had a few rainy days lately, not non-stop rain, just showers but some of them very heavy.

As I've said before Beano absolutely hates the rain and a couple of times we've gone out in the dry and then it's started to rain heavily. At this point Beano turns and heads for home, at a gallop.

Y'day he asked to go out about 3:30 in t he afternoon after he'd been fed.  Once he'd looked out the door and saw the rain he changed his mind and returned to the flat. He must have a bladder the size of an elephants as, despite me suggesting he go out again, he didn't. He just snuggled down on the sofa and slept.

At about 10 o'clock I told him it was bed time and we went to the door again. 

It was still raining, Beano looked at the rain, looked at me, signed deeply and plodded out into the rain to empty his bladder.

Friday

Col, I don't seem to be notified about the payment but I do receive it, I shall transfer it to my savings account when it arrives.to

Next month I finish paying for my hearing aids so I will be able to increase my savings pot from December.

I do use the oven when I need to, Steve likes to witter on but I ignore him.

There were no meetings in the summer house today, work was being done on the windows and doors.

Electricity bill

We read our electricity meter and pay our electricity bill monthly so there are no big unexpected bills. We don't have gas which is a shame as I prefer to cook on gas. We've not yet put the heating on, I wear layers and I have a heated throw that I can use if I get cold.

I rarely cook now, I can't be bothered just for me and I refuse to cook the party food that Steve wants. He can cook it in the air fryer for himself. Food is a bone of contention, Steve would like me to cook daily for him and I won't. He was pulling faces y'day as he walked into the kitchen and there was half an onion and a leek on the chopping board. He would have complained but couldn't as Harry was here. Steve spent the rest of y'day in bed with a painful wrist, he thinks it's arthritis, I hope it improves soon.

The weather is dull, damp and overcast here but Steve will have to get up as the bathroom fitter is coming to finish the floor, Steve will be in a grump all day, he hates the winter.

There was no quiz y'day, the quiz master had a migraine, there is still no firm decision on whether the quiz will be moved to the afternoon. I've agreed to go to the Friday morning crossword meeting as Steve is happy to put the shopping away on his own.

I need to make a shopping list as I've offered to make chocolate brownies and rice pudding  for the next Tuesday lunch meeting. Barbara is making cottage pie. This and the fact that I've offered to make the main meal on the following Tuesday, was also met with much face pulling from Steve. He wants KFC, or at least a home cooked version of it. I'm not sure how he expects me to cook chips for up to 10 people since I'm not allowed to use the oven. I am going to cook chicken in gravy in my slow cooker. I have to cook and serve the vegetables separately. I really don't understand why Steve wants to go to these lunchtime meetings. Maybe he's hoping to convert everyone to his way of eating.

Little things please me.

There was a Jay on the grass outside our flat this morning, it didn't stay long but it was lovely to see. Earlier on in the year we were visited by a flock of starlings for a few days. They must have found grubs in the grass and had a great time digging them out.

This afternoon I watched Bob the Knob meticulously picking all the tiny weeds out of the flower bed. No sooner had he finished and his back was turned than Korky the cat wandered over, dug a hole in the nice soft earth and took a crap!

We've just been given a tall slim mirror, I'm delighted as we've not had a decent mirror for years. Steve hung it on the bedroom wall, I've given it a dust and have just about stopped jumping every time I see myself in it!

Changes

The residents are thinking about moving the weekly quiz from Wednesday morning to Wednesday afternoon. This doesn't suit me but seems to fit in better for everyone else.

It's been suggested I go to the Friday morning crossword meeting instead. I'm not so good at crossword puzzles and I'm not keen on Tilly Twinkle who runs the Friday morning sessions.

Tilly is relentlessly cheerful but moans non stop, she will insist on pronouncing my name with a Z, zhou. I've no idea why but I've learned to live with it.

I will possibly go along but it depends on what Steve is doing, we have our shopping delivered on Friday morning so I'm not sure.

Wedding invitation.

Allegedly Steve's friend Bob is getting married next year, it must be love! She chose an engagement ring that cost £5000, Bob hasn't stopped moaning about the cost since he purchased it.

They are planning on marrying in Windsor and having their reception on a boat, it will include a river trip.

I haven't said anything to Steve yet but I may decide not to go. My eyesight is deteriorating rapidly and the train journey would be difficult. Especially the return journey with Steve, no doubt as drunk as a skunk.

The social life here is getting better and better. As well as the afternoon meetings and the Wednesday morning quiz, there is now a Friday morning meeting for crossword addicts. There is also a weekly lunch meeting starting on Tuesday where someone makes food for those who attend. It's liver and veg the first week and cottage pie the next week. To my amazement Steve is intending on going along! I think he's expecting me to make him his usual ham sandwiches to take with him as he won't eat what is provided.

This and that.

Whilst a lot of the country is struggling with flooding, all we've had is a bit of rain. I noticed the river is is running high when I walked Beano in the park this morning and the marina FB page showed the boats sitting high against the jettys.

Phil the plumber was here again this morning for a couple of hours and has done more work on the bathroom. He's coming over again on Wednesday when hopefully it will be finished.

Steve and Harry are shopping on Monday for the coloured silicon to finish off the floor.

Steve hates the winter and the rain so is complaining a lot. Beano also hates the rain so we have to dodge the showers when we walk.

We have no tumble dryer or outdoor drying space here so I'm considering buying a Lakeland heated airer. I had one years ago and found it quite successful. Next month I will make the last payment on my hearing aids so I might have a look at the Lakeland site.

Quiet day.

We had a Tesco delivery today and once everything had been put away Steve set off to meet his brother and a friend in town.

I've taken Beano out four times for a walk, the rest of the time I've been in the flat.

Steve eventually arrived home just after 5 p.m. I asked if he'd had a good time and he had.

He then announced that he was taking his hearing aids out as his ears hurt. If I wanted to talk to him I'd have to wait until tomorrow!I

It's a good job I don't depend on Steve for conversation isn't it.

So excited

 It was damp and drizzly y'day, Steve and Beano both hate the rain. So when Steve realised we were running out of bread I offered to go to the shops to buy some fresh rolls.

To my amazement he agreed! 

I wouldn't go so as to say he was happy about it but he did agree. He drew me a map of where to find the shop, it's only at the top of our road! He also drew maps of the inside of both shops, Lidl, for bread rolls as they have an in-store bakery, Aldi, for the rest of the shopping on the list he wrote for me.

I took my shopping trolley as I knew I'd find stuff I'd want to buy and I did. I bought some frozen fruit to go with my breakfasts, mango and fruits of the forest and some mini mars bars. Along with the rolls and the stuff Steve wanted.

If course he started yelling the minute I arrived home, like a relieved mother who's lost child has reappeared. Beano was pleased to see me and cuddled up as soon as I was sat down.

Obviously I'd purchased the wrong stuff/spent too much money/taken too long/got wet in the rain.  

I told Steve to shut the fcuk up but I expect from now on he will go to the shops even if it is raining!

Comments

 Rambler, yes, in theory if Steve started attending the quiz mornings I'd have to stop as Beano doesn't cope well with being left. He doesn't do any damage but just sits, frozen with fear until we return. Fortunately Steve doesn't enjoy quizzes.

Unknown, I'm very confused by the gentleman with no peripheral vision, he had his licence taken away some time ago but managed to get it returned. Nobody knows how he managed this as we know he asked his Dr and the Dr refused to help him as he knew he was dangerous in the car. It's a mystery.

At last.

There have been temporary traffic lights outside our flats for three weeks. It's been chaos!

It's a fairly busy road used by lots lorries and trucks used in road building, crossing it is a challenge even for those more nimble than I am. The flats are situated between two bends in the road which limit visibility. There have been many near misses and the occasional accident when someone has pulled out of our car park thinking the road was clear. One of our residents has no peripheral vision so he is really a danger when he pulls out. As I'm on foot I tend to be a danger only to myself and Beano.

This morning the traffic lights have finally gone at last.

I took Beano out before 8 o'clock as rain is forecast, we got home after 9:30. This doesn't mean Beano had a long walk, just that he stops and sniffs everything. We managed only 4000 steps. It's now 10:15 and it's raining so I'm glad we got home before it started.

No plans today apart from more dog walks of I can persuade Beano that he won't melt in the rain!

Quiet week

It will be a quiet week this week, our neighbour Harry is away so he won't be popping in for coffee.

There is no Tuesday morning meeting in the summer house, it was cancelled as the HA were intending to hold a residents meeting, this was cancelled late on Monday.

There is now a Friday morning meeting for people who enjoy crosswords, chess, cards and backgammon. Steve is taking his games compendium along. I did ask if he intends to go to the morning and afternoon meetings and he does, though not this week as he is visiting his brother on Friday.

The quiz mornings are restarting in a couple of weeks, so I will go to those. 

Back to normal

This morning I felt back to normal, I took Beano out for a walk and we walked quickly, much better than the slow stagger that is all I managed for a few days.

The weather is a lot cooler which Beano prefers. Despite this Steve is still wandering around in shorts and teeshirt. He obviously feels cold as he keeps offering to put the heating on for me. I realised eventually that he can no longer fit into any of his trousers, he's ordered two pairs of joggers. If they aren't big enough he'll have to go into town to buy some.

Steve's been trying to persuade me to take over all the cooking, I've refused, he only wants deep fried junk food which means I'd have to cook separately for me. I cooked stuffed chicken breasts y'day and fish fillets today. I'm not cooking tomorrow, he will have to fend for himself.  I've made some leek and potato soup for me and there is enough for tomorrow. 

Steve's becoming very involved with the jobs the residents want doing, which is fine. But he isn't pulling he  weight around the flat and everything is falling to me. He won't do housework but usually empties the bins but now I'm doing that as well.

Staying in the black.

My pension was paid into my account overnight so I'm in the black. I need to keep a close eye on my account as I went in the red last month and it was touch and go for the last few days.

I receive a slightly bigger pension than Steve as I worked enough years to make up the shortfall when my ex husband stopped paying my NI stamp.

Steve has had periods of being unemployed/self employed when he didn't play his NI contributions.

For some reason, last month, when he purchased the radiator for the bathroom, Steve used my account instead of using the savings. He then started complaining that my account was in the red.

Over the worst.

I've finally rejoined the land of the living!

Although the pain subsided after a week I still felt dreadful, I couldn't think what I needed when Steve shopped last week, hence there was very little I could eat.

A neighbour was very kind and made me a huge pot of vegetable stew, just the ticket.

Fortunately I was feeling better by this Thursday when Steve placed the Tesco order so I was able to order some decent food ready for delivery this morning.

Steve has little to no grasp of healthy eating, if I ask him to buy me apple's he's most likely to buy apple pie. He believes fresh fruit and veg are dirty as they are grown outside!

His attitude to food is obsessive, apart from potatoes the only veg he eats is lettuce in his lunchtime sandwich. He eats ham sandwiches every day and has fried food for his evening meal everyday. I've tried to explain that this isn't health but he doesn't accept this. Because he uses the air fryer  he thinks he's not eating fried food. He doesn't understand that the stuff he's eating was fried before it was frozen.

Oppositional defiant disorder

If Steve was was a school child today I think he'd be diagnosed with ODD. Or maybe he'd just be classed as a pain in the arris!

I've spent the last four days in bed in a lot of pain, I've had a diverticulitis flare up! I've got up only to stagger to a patch of nearby grass for Beano to relieve himself as Steve won't walk him. I've not eaten since Tuesday morning but I am drinking lots of water.

Steve doesn't cope with illness so he's spent the past few days with various residents. He's replaced bathroom fans, hung pictures and fitted cupboards. He's very popular with some of the residents, he saves them having to ask friends and family or paying a professional. He will always do a good job and leaves everywhere tidy.

Unfortunately he will not help with walking Beano, neither will he work on our bathroom which is half finished. I asked him to start a load of washing but it turned into an argument. He decides that I'm using the wrong programme and starts shouting at me.

I'm now feeling slightly better but I'm faced with about 6 loads of washing and no food in the house that I can eat. Well actually there are eggs in the fridge, I can have scrambled eggs. This means there will not be sufficient eggs for Steve's cooked breakfast, he will have to walk to Aldi when he runs out!

In the red.

My bank account went in the red last night, only by a few £££.

All our bank accounts are joint ones, this meant that we both received a notification about the account going in to the red.

There ensued a rant from Steve, what was I spending my money on!

When I checked he'd ordered a heated towel rail from my account without telling me!

A spend of £133 without warning was enough to tip the account into the red.

I would usually have enough to cover this but I'm still paying for my hearing aids at £250 a month,  only two more payments to go.  I've also increased my payment towards the bills for the flat by £150 a month. I'm now paying £375. I pay Beano's insurance from this account.

He's now transferred money from the savings to the account and it's back in the black.