Steve is now only wearing his hearing aids when he's outside. When he's in the flat he refuses to wear them and complains that he can't hear me. He says they don't fit\don't work\hurt his ears etc.
Yesterday Steve persuaded me to go for coffee in the garden with some of the residents.
It started well, a sociable get together, six or seven residents there. Betty was making us laugh, she's off on holiday soon and is having problems with her packing. She seems to feel the need to take her entire wardrobe of clothes and so is finding it difficult to stay within her weight allowance.
She's also takes her spare hearing aids with her as she has a bad habit of going swimming whilst still wearing her aids. This got Steve started on the subject of hearing aids, mine in particular. He either hasn't listened or hasn't understood that my daughter Cass paid for my hearing aids and I'm paying her back bit at a time, every month. We have more than enough in savings that could have paid for my new aids but Steve can't understand why I pay for mine when he gets his free.
So he started complaining in front of the other residents about how much my aids cost. He doesn't know how much so just started telling everyone that I was paying £250 a month for them.
Now I could have retaliated by telling everyone that he won't wear his aids in the flat because they are uncomfortable.
Or that he spends £4000 a year on alcohol!
I did neither, I simply returned to our flat with Beano but it will be a while before I go into the garden to socialise again.
12 comments:
I don’t know how you manage to bite your tongue, Hester, although I understand why you don’t want to inflame things further. I hope greater happiness is around the corner for you xx
That's awful. Is there one of the residents you could talk to on your own over a cuppa to put the record straight? You should not be belittled in that way in front of others! Sending hugs.
How irritating of him - Mine does very similar - I think he likes to elaborate for a more interesting tale to get the attention of others - Though a few years ago I began correcting him whilst he was in full flow x
I hope you're spending almost £80 weekly on something that you want!
It has to be something you want, not something you need, and it must be as completely unnecessary as alcohol!
Lots of things that Steve does would drive me to distraction, but I could probably tolerate them, however, drinking to excess is a hard 'NO' in my world!
Good hearing aids are worth their weight in gold.
Please don't allow Steve to isolate you from your neighbours and friends; he needs to be told that you're sick of his lies and cruelty - shout it at him if he insists he can't hear you. Personally, I would teach him a lesson by simply miming to him and not making a sound; make him realise what it's really like to not hear what's being said.He's a very cruel husband, in my opinion, can't your daughter have words with him? You can't go on like this.
Why do you tolerate his abusive behavior. Was he ever nice. Have you ever been happy?
Hugs and love.
The trouble is when you have a partner who is mentally damaged stroke seizure or just the wretched drugs they give them, is that there outside is perfectly normal but whats going on in there heads really isnt . So many end up in this boat as we get older. you just plod on living for the odd flash of what once was and yes theyre problems mean that you dont have a fulfilling life in any shape or form. Youre not about to run screaming from the building or think me me me . its just how it is for so many of us
I wouldn't let it put you off from socialising with your neighbours. Maybe just drop into a conversation with one of the best gossips that Steve is a compulsive liar ... problem solved, they will always take what he says with a pinch of salt from then on.
You need to socialise with your neighbours or you will become so isolated.
He is damaged from his stroke to a point, but if he can behave while outside then he knows what he is doing.
As someone said try miming to him in silence, then he may begin to understand your situation.
You are so good with him, I would have been tempted to put him under a new patio.
Life is too short
Your husband is lucky to have you x
Post a Comment