The windows are open and the gardeners are mowing the lawn, it smells wonderful.
Kate Steeper has commented on my last post, she understands what life is like with a partner who has a brain injury. Whether is is caused by a stroke, medication or age. It's not easy and it's not fair, but it's not fair on the person suffering either.I
They too are struggling to make sense of their world and like a lot of us they lash out at their nearest and dearest.
Some of our neighbours realise and understand some don't, Steve isn't the only damaged person living here.
If I retaliated when Steve annoyed me, he wouldn't understand and be hurt and upset. So what's the point.
4 comments:
My husband has similar problems, as you know. I try not to retaliate either, as I know it's not his fault and he doesn't mean it. Well, most of the time he doesn't, he does have the occasional flash of spite when he knows exactly what he's saying. I bite my tongue so often it's a wonder I haven't bitten it off. It is hard though, whilst I know it's not his fault, I'm not going to be abused either. And it's so bloody wearing coping with everything, having to constantly repeat myself and trying to keep schtum.
I wish blogger just had a like/ thinking of you sort of button, to say something like I feel for you, but as we go into old age we remember our wedding vows as I am Scottish they were to love honour and cherish which I will try to do to the end of my life. We have been lucky with no major health problems yet but we both know it can happen. My cousin who was younger than me died earlier this year from Alzheimer disease, as did her father and grandfather. I wish you well Susan and hope you have the strength to continue.
I think often when people hear about our "problems" or "issues" when we vent they want to offer solutions as well as sympathy because they're fond of us to varying degrees and want to help "make it stop", when sometimes we're not looking for advice, we're just yelling into the void (which is completely valid and necessary).
I find some people get upset when their advice isn't taken (because it wasn't requested nor helpful) - it comes from a good place of course, but you know your situation better than anyone.
I've been reading your blog for some while but have never commented before.I really admire your fortitude and ethic in the way you stick to your wedding vows. Moira has really summed it up perfectly. I lost my husband last year after 48 years and through all the travails we stuck in there, remembering what we said all those years before.
Jane B (Corfu, Greece)
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