5 a.m.

For the second morning running  I'm awake before 5 a.m.

This time Beano woke me as he wanted to go out.

Because I'm deaf I don't know whether it's the wildlife outside that's disturbed him  or if he's asking to go out because he needs to go to the toilet.

I'd rather avoid an accident if possible, so out we go.

It was obviously the local wildlife that disturbed him so we return indoors and Beano is soon snoozing away again.

I don't return to bed as if Beano hears another noise he will want to go out again. Instead we go to the living room where he is less likely to be disturbed.

Going out.

Steve's going into town today, he usually goes once or twice a week. He will go to a pub and have a cooked breakfast and a couple of pints of lager. He will be back in time to attend the afternoon meeting in the summer house.

Tomorrow there is a morning get together with a quiz that I shall go to.

Thursday Steve and Harry will go to the local tip to get rid of the garden rubbish they have accumulated and probably have a cooked breakfast in Morrison's which is nearby.

Friday the Tesco shop is delivered and that's another week gone.

Small joys.

 I try to find small joys every day.

I like to enjoy the gardens I see when I walk Beano every day.

Something I also see every day are Rowan trees, there are quite a few nearby all laden with bright red berries.

Also Hawthorne bushes which are also covered in red berries but a deeper red.

The Horse Chestnut trees on the nearby green are full of conkers still in their bright green outer shells. They are supposed to ward off spiders but I don't mind spiders. I do like to have a bowl of shiny conkers on my window sill.

Klutz

I wouldn't trust myself with a glass anything Mary, I'm a klutz, incredibly clumsy and awkward.

Beano has just been told off, this is a rare occurrence, he's being a PITA but I don't know what he wants, he's been out, been fed and has water. I think he'd rather like the rest of the beef we had for lunch. He's out of luck, no matter how much he stares at me, and when he pats me repeatedly to get my attention that's when he gets told off. When I say NO in that particular tone of voice he knows he's gone too far, so he's turned his back on me and gone to sleep!

We have rain.

I had all the windows open and then it started to rain, I went round and closed them all. Steve was in the garden cutting back some ivy when the rain started, I expected him to come indoors but he didn't. He went to Harry's for a cuppa instead. 

The rain was heavy but brief, it's dry again now.

One of our neighbours had visitors this morning, they brought their dog with them. It's not very big, possibly a cockerpoo. This sent our cat lady in to orbit, I could see her car lazing on the lawn. At the sight of the dog the cat stared at the dog but didn't move. The dog also ignored the cat, the only one who seemed bothered was the cat lady. She started wailing about the stress that was being caused to her cat!

I'm thinking of  buying a water jug for the fridge, the water from the tap never seems cold though it is filtered as we had a filter fitted when we replaced the taps.

Steve is still not wearing his hearing aids indoors so is constantly shouting as he doesn't realise how loud he is. He is currently watching YouTube videos about very expensive boats. Boats that cost millions. I don't mind what he watches but he will insist on showing what he's watching and I'm not at all interested.

Weird

Steve came with me to walk Beano y'day morning, Beano loves it when Steve comes with us. It was only whilst we were walking through the park that I realised from Steve's conversation that he thinks he comes with us most days. In fact he hasn't joined us for months.

Sooze, we seem to be in the same boat don't we, I do sympathise when I read your blog.

Tesco delivery today, we are buying fewer things every week as Steve can't/won't find the things I ask for and often can't find the stuff he wants! Though we still get 6 boxes of 18 Fosters every week. Food, as far as Steve is concerned comes either battered or breadcrumbed. I've tried explaining that most of the stuff he buys has been fried before it's sold, but because he hasn't fried it himself he believes his food choices are healthy.

There is a meeting in the summer house with our site manager today, it's the same old bullshot every time. The managing company take the attitude that because we are all over 60 we are all senile. It's very frustrating to be treated this way. I admit we are not helped by a few of the residents being exceptionally stupid/self absorbed. We have the mad cat lady who wants to spend every meeting talking about her pussy. Bob the Knob insists on talking about which plants he will and will not allow it the communal garden. Also the two residents who insist they want to stay with the current company that owns the court, despite being told many times that it isn't an option.

New mown grass

The windows are open and the gardeners are mowing the lawn, it smells wonderful.

Kate Steeper has commented on my last post, she understands what life is like with a partner who has a brain injury. Whether is is caused by a stroke, medication or age. It's not easy and it's not fair, but it's not fair on the person suffering either.I

They too are struggling to make sense of their world and like a lot of us they lash out at their nearest and dearest.

Some of our neighbours realise and understand some don't, Steve isn't the only damaged person living here.

If I retaliated when Steve annoyed me, he wouldn't understand and be hurt and upset. So what's the point.

Hearing aids 2

Steve is now only wearing his hearing aids when he's outside. When he's in the flat he refuses to wear them and complains that he can't hear me. He says they don't fit\don't work\hurt his ears etc.

Yesterday Steve persuaded me to go for coffee in the garden with some of the residents.

It started well, a sociable get together, six or seven residents there. Betty was making us laugh, she's off on holiday soon and is having problems with her packing. She seems to feel the need to take her entire wardrobe of clothes and so is finding it difficult to stay within her weight allowance.

She's also takes her spare hearing aids with her as she has a bad habit of going swimming whilst still wearing her aids. This got Steve started on the subject of hearing aids, mine in particular. He either hasn't listened or hasn't understood that my daughter Cass paid for my hearing aids and I'm paying her back bit at a time, every month. We have more than enough in savings that could have paid for my new aids but Steve can't understand why I pay for mine when he gets his free.

So he started complaining in front of the other residents about how much my aids cost. He doesn't know how much so just started telling everyone that I was paying £250 a month for them.

Now I could have retaliated by telling everyone that he won't wear his aids in the flat because they are uncomfortable.

Or that he spends £4000 a year on alcohol!

I did neither, I simply returned to our flat with Beano but it will be a while before I go into the garden to socialise again.

Hearing aids

I'm very pleased with my relatively new aids but I can see a problem in the future. As my eyesight deteriorates I'm going to have problems changing the wax shields. They are incredibly small and fiddly. There would be no point asking Steve, for although his eyesight is stable and isn't deteriorating, he can't see well enough to be able to change the shields for me. I'll just have to hope that with a good light and a magnifier I can manage for a while.

We have a leak in the bathroom, Steve will contact a plumber to see if this can be remedied. Last time I told Steve there was a leak was in our house before we moved into the boat. I pointed out a damp patch and suggested we get it sorted. Steve refused to accept there was a leak and insisted I was wrong. A few months later his brother visited and immediately noticed the damp. Steve then got it repaired!

It was overcast when I walked Beano earlier but now the sun is shining and there is not a cloud in the sky I shall take Beano out again shortly.

Lucky finds.

Laura Z, I have some parchment liners, Steve refuses to use them so I refuse to clean the air fryer except when I've used it.

On one of the routes I walk Beano there is a house where they often leave bags of apple's on their garden wall. I'm not sure what sort they are but I've cooked some and also eaten some raw.

Today I walked a different route and there was rhubarb and runner beans, On a garden wall with a notice saying " Please help yourself". So I did!

The rhubarb will be made into a cake and the beans I'll  have with my chicken for tea.

Spending spree

I've spent a lot of  money today and on nothing exciting.

When I say a lot, I mean a lot for me, so what exciting things have I purchased?

First off, a pill sorter, I have one but it's just a one week sorter and some of the lids have broken. So I've ordered a bigger one, a four week sorter.

Next I ordered a new basket for the air fryer, I've realised that Steve, despite using the air fryer 2 or 3 times a day never washes the basket. He seems to think it's like the oven and that I'll clean it. I have explained that he needs to clean it properly after every use. Today he cooked himself two burgers and filled the entire flat with smoke that took ages to clear. I rarely use the air fryer so hadn't noticed how bad it was.

When the flat filled with smoke this morning Steve turned the extractor on that sits above the cooker. This was totally ineffective as the filters were all old and filled with grease. I've ordered new filters for the extractor.

And that's my spending spree, all very boring but very necessary.

We've been to the pub

We took Beano for a walk along the towpath this morning, he was so excited that Steve was with us.

We caught the bus, we travelled just one stop, there is no pavement and it's a busy road with huge lorries thundering by.

The towpath is shaded by lots of trees so it wasn't too hot for Beano and we found a shaded table in the pub.

Steve has a beef burger, I had fish. Beano lay on the grass beside us, just chilling out until it was time to catch the bus home. We had the same driver both ways, Steve and I travel free with our pensioners bus pass. We pay £1 for Beano.

The last box

There was a box in the bottom of my wardrobe, it's been there since we moved in. I finally got round to emptying out. It contained, amongst other things, a couple of crochet blankets, some Christmas decorations and in the bottom were a handful of crochet hooks.

I messaged Cass to ask if she wanted the blankets, I can't use them as Beano gets his claws caught in them, Jennie wouldn't want them as she dislikes crochet. Cass said she'd like them so they are in a carrier bag ready for when I see her in September once the children have returned to school.

I asked one of the residents if she knew anyone who did crochet and she suggested I passed them on to Betty. This I did and Betty was very grateful, so grateful in fact that she has just gifted me a crochet blanket!!

Frenemies

There are three ladies who live here who are frenemies.

They seem to live in a constant state of falling out with each other.

One of the ladies invited me to go with her to a local garden centre, this wasn't long after we moved in.  I was unable to go as she uses a local bus service that I was not eligible for.  I wasn't that keen on going with her as the garden centre isn't very big and the planned visit a seemed to be  very lengthy.  I was told later that I'd only been invited as she'd fallen out with the other two and I'd be dropped like a hot potato once she was back in with her friends.

One of the frenemies has her flat on the market, once it's sold there will just be two of them, will they admit another person into their group so they can continue to be frenemies. 

Who knows, I shall continue to keep my distance, I'm really not interested in that sort of interaction.

Another BBQ.

Steve did another BBQ y'day afternoon, one of the residents had her b'day  in June but wasn't well enough to celebrate.

Steve's fed up now with doing the BBQs, but since he moans and bitches when others people do them he's stuck with the job.

I ate very little as I'm not keen on burgers or sausages. There was lots different cakes and I tried a piece of chocolate cake but it was too heavy on the herbs so I didn't enjoy it.

The cake contained fennel, dill and poppy seeds as did the potato and butterbean salad.

A couple of replies to comments.

The resident with the new companion isn't a friend of Steve's.

I have no idea where to donate the Marmade  to, there is no one on-site who wants it.

Saying

There is a saying that there is no fool like an old fool!

One of the residents, who is in his eighties and is in poor health, had been saying for some time that he was looking to remarry. 

This was because he was bored, he has family who visit a couple of times a week, he attends an assortment of clubs in the local area and also the meetings in the summer house. Despite this he was still bored.

He started his attempts to find a wife by telling all of the residents that he is a millionaire twice over. Now call me cynical but if he's a millionaire why is he living here? He could be living somewhere exotic, or in one of the expensive complexes that provide a lot of on-site entertainment. He could even live on a cruise ship and travel the world.

Eventually he managed to find a companion, she is 55 and loves to shop. He drives her into town, parks up, gives her money and sits in his car until she returns. She has her own car, but they take his as he has a blue badge. She must have nerves of steel to get in the car with him as he is a truly scary driver, he has no peripheral vision. He seems to count to ten and then pulls out of the car park. He was reported to the DVLA and lost his licence but he has persuaded his Dr to write on his behalf and has had his licence reinstated.

Once his companion has fulfilled her shopping needs he takes her for lunch. This has caused a small problem for some of the residents here as he wishes to take her somewhere different every time. Because of this he is constantly knocking on doors asking for recommendations on where to take the lady for lunch. There are only three or four residents who own cars, are married and go out to lunch on a regular basis. These are the people he targets repeatedly, unfortunately he will insist on knocking on their doors after 11 o'clock at night or before 7 am. He is becoming a real nuisance.

He has suggested she move in with him but she isn't keen and I can't blame her. The thought of trying to keep him entertained and amused every day must be exhausting.

Clearing out.

There was a box in the bottom of the wardrobe and today I finally got around to emptying it. 

There were a few crochet hooks, some chunky yarn and some crochet shawls and blankets. As I can no longer see to crochet I shall pass the hooks on to a neighbour who can use them, the shawls and blankets will go in to DD1's dressing up box. Also in there was an old dressing gown and a winter jacket, these have gone in the bin.

The empty box has been flattened and  the bottom of the wardrobe is bare apart from a tin containing a few small Christmas decorations.

I found the Christmas cards we received when we moved here, I need to add the people to my address book and then bin the cards.

In a kitchen cupboard I found a tin of Marmade, I will hang onto it a bit longer to see if I feel like making it up, if not that can also be binned.

New cookbook.

My new cookbook arrived today, it's the Be-Ro book. I used to have a copy but lost it, along with many other items when we moved off the boat. Fed up with constantly having to look up recipes online I finally got round to ordering a new copy and it arrived this morning.

There is a garden I walk past when I'm walking Beano that I particularly enjoy looking at and I told the owner so as she came out of her house. She said she used to have an allotment as well but gave it up last year.

As I walked further I met my upstairs neighbour who was walking her dogs, She was hurrying back to watch yesterday's football that her husband had recorded for her.

Steve's phone seems to have developed a fault, it keeps pinging as though he has received a text message. When he looks there is no message. The phone pings repeatedly throughout the day and night. Steve has resolved this issue by not wearing his hearing aids indoors! I have suggested various things he could try so as to resolve this issue. He refuses as the pinging doesn't bother him!

I have washing drying on the maiden, as there are no drying facilties, I do small amounts of washing every couple of days. Everything needs to be dried indoors with the dehumidifier chugging away. If it's sunny and there is no manager on duty I sometimes stand the maiden by the front door. The nearest launderette is three miles away and not on a bus route!

.

Saturday.

I took Beano out for an early walk as rain was forecast, good job I did as it's chucking it down now and has been since about 8:30.

Steve will be in a grump all day as he hates the rain as much as Beano does. He's just got up and is shouting his head off, he won't wear his hearing aids so has no idea how loud he is. He gets very annoyed if I mention it. Once Betty next door gets up she'll pop round and tell him he's being too loud. When Steve does wear his aids he speaks very quietly, this way he can sigh dramatically in a long suffering manner, if I ask him to repeat himself. Though now I have my new aids I can hear most of what everyone says.

Lame Wolf, I had a work colleague who was horrified when I told her that I ate vegetables that Steve had grown in our garden. She didn't understand that shop bought vegetables had mostly been grown in soil also.

I've had to give up watching TV as my eyesight has deteriorated more in recent weeks. I need to find more books to read on my kindle. I've recently re-read all my Harry Dresden books and all my Ben Aaronavich. I need to find some new authors to follow. Fortunately if I set my kindle to the largest font I can still read for now.

I cooked a huge chicken breast when I first got up and sliced it thinly, it will do for sandwiches for lunch and probably for my tea tonight with added salad.

Breaded chicken thighs!

Our Tesco shop arrived today, six delivery trays each containing a box of 18 cans of lager and a small amount of shopping.

In amongst the shopping were some chicken thighs. Steve decide he wanted these breadcrumbed. He purchased the breadcrumbs some months ago but hasn't found them very successful as they don't stick to the chicken. Today in desperation he decided to ask me how to get the breadcrumbs to  stick to the chicken. He complained bitterly that my instructions were far too complicated. I told him that my way worked and that the reason the breadcrumbs hadn't stuck on previous occasions was because he hadn't follow the correct procedure.

The thighs are currently cooking in the air fryer, I'm not sure how successful they will be as Steve didn't follow all my instructions as they were a waste of time.

I have to say that cooking has proved a great disappointment to Steve. He's always assumed that cooking must be easy as I can cook most things successfully. He considers me to be stupid, therefore cooking must be easy.

5 a.m. is early even for me.

Beano got me up at 5 as he needed to go out, I'd rather get up than have an accident to clear up after.

It seems Steve has decided to no longer empty the kitchen bin or the recycling.

I was a bit slow on the uptake as I only realised today as I emptied them for the third day running.

This is possibly because he has just forgotten or it could be in retaliation for me refusing to cook for him, hey ho, nemmind. It's a small price to pay.

Steve is currently refusing to wear his hearing aids and I'm getting tired of shouting. He still wears them when he goes to the summer house to mix with the other residents.

I had a nice chat with another resident this morning, she's lovely and always friendly. She doesn't like dogs though isn't afraid of them. I just need to stop Beano getting too close to her as he tries to sit on her feet.

I don't mind if people don't like dogs, especially if they tell, me so I can keep Beano out of their way. I get irritated by people, like the mad cat lady who creates drama and havoc, complaining about Beano terrorising her cat and killing the local pigeons. Beano is terrified of her cat and far too slow to catch a pigeon also he is always on the lead in the grounds.

My youngest son is coming over tomorrow so we can walk Beano together, Beano will walk further if Chris is with us. I'm not sure why he won't walk more when he's with me, he won't wander off if it's just the two of us. Maybe he thinks I need protecting, though I don't know why, I'm not of a nervous disposition and I don't scare easily.

I've tidied all of Harry's stuff up in the hall, this might be a mistake as now there is more room he may just add to it when he gets back from his holiday.

Beano has a cob on.

Beano would like to go to bed when Steve does, and he wants me to go too. I don't want to go to bed at 8:30, I prefer to go to bed about 10:30. 

Last night when Steve went to bed Beano sat and stared at me, he wanted me to go to bed as well. But I wouldn't, he sat by my feet staring and whining occasionally. Eventually I picked him up and put him on the sofa beside me. He immediately turned his back on me!

Flis, Steve won't eat any home made food, the only pudding he will eat is tinned rice pudding.

With regards to the neighbour with the cat, she has mental health problems and is a PITA for everybody, not just me. I have enough problems with Steve's mental health without dealing with her as well. We have a new manager at the complex, who I will speak to about my concerns. Our local mental health agency is too busy to deal with anything apart from serious crises, which she isn't yet. 

Sooze, I use "Who made you Queen of May?"

Commentors have suggested I get my B12 levels and my testosterone checked. When I came out of hospital just before Christmas. I was told my Dr would contact me about a follow up appointment. I'm still waiting! And yes I have phoned to progress this and I'm told that they are too busy and have no free appointments for the foreseeable future!

Wipe out.

For the third day running I'm wiped out, I have zero energy. I feel like I've been run over by a steam roller.

I have no idea why, I'm trying to eat a decent diet and i try to get a good night's sleep.

I'm managing to walk Beano but that's about it. Steve's not impressed and thinks I need to try harder. He won't come with me when I walk the dog and just suggests re-homing him.

I really could have done without the local cat lady starting on me as I was walking Beano. today.

She gave me a list of instructions.

Beano is not allowed to walk in the nearby copse, as her cat likes to walk there. The cat already has the run of almost half an acre of garden. 

All residents have been instructed not to walk across the car park when she is there with her cat.

I'm to wait until 11:45 before Beano goes out for his last widdle as her cat is indoors then. As I go to bed about 10:30 this is not feasible. 

Next came a list of all the thing wrong with Beano and me, he needs his coat trimming etc.I

I need to get my hair cut and coloured, I'm too old to be wearing it up in a comb.

At this point my patience was exhausted so I walked off muttering under my breath.

She heard me muttering and is going to report me to our new manager!