Today I have a trip to the solicitors to prove I'm who I claim to be.
Yesterday's outing was very successful, I don't think CHS will want to attend regularly.
Some people there are very severely affected by their stroke and he avoids people like that.
I enjoyed our hour there, people spoke to me and CHS very kindly and know exactly how things are.
They have confirmed there is no carers group I can join as the criteria has changed and CHS doesn't fit in to any of the seven categories.
As for asking my DD's to help, one has four children, a dog, a husband with a long term chronic condition and a full time and part time job.
The other has 5 children 2 dogs and is a foster carer.
They would both help out in an emergency, but neither can help on a regular basis.
Actually knowing there is no help is a relief, I shall no longer be running round in circles looking for something that doesn't exist.
Scrimping and saving, ranting and raving. Past retirement age.
8 comments:
Hester, Contact your local council and see if you can get an allowance from them to allow you to pay for CHS to attend some sort of group to give you a chance to have some time on your own away from the stress. Dave you got a blue badge, if not apply for one each.There is a group here in Leicestershire that supports carers, I will see if I can find a group in your area and send you the link.
That is so very unfair.
Deborah
I've searched for help too and there isn't any. None. I too have had the "get your family to help" comments, when I explain we don't have family either nearby or far away the suggestion is then "friends?" Yeah right! I certainly don't have friends who would want to sit with an aggressive and unpredictable Alzheimers sufferer who has continence problems. Regarding the above comment I've also contacted my local council, there isn't any allowance or help. Not only that but how do you get an Alzheimers sufferer to go to a group if they flatly refuse? That's if you're lucky enough to even have a group nearby.
We did have a visit from an Alzheimers advisor when husband was first diagnosed and he had details of our nearest group - 28 miles away! It was once a month for an hour. No chance of getting there with husband who doesn't want to go and couldn't manage that far without continence needs being attended to. All for the sake of an hour too. I couldn't go alone to a group because he can't be left alone.
Some people seem to live in areas where there is a lot of support, sadly that's not here or some other areas. I've tried. Dementia sufferers and their wife/husband are left to get on with it. After our first visits to the diagnostic clinic etc we're now back under the care of our G.P. who obviously is there for other medical needs but isn't a support system for dementia sufferers.
Regarding the Blue Badge scheme mentioned above, I've tried 3 times to get one for husband, but as he's not "severely disabled and unable to walk" he can't have one. He doesn't fit the criteria despite being unable to go out of the house without me.
I sympathise with you Hester and know exactly how you feel regarding the lack of support. We can do nothing but plod on.
Pat, I’m so sorry that you have to cope alone. Just a thought - have you considered contacting your local church(es) to see if they have any volunteers who would sit with your husband for an hour so you can get a regular short break? A relative was a Minister in the UK and certainly would have had links to volunteer groups in his area, he certainly would have tried to find assistance. I hope that you can find some respite.
Criteria, criteria. It's dreadful that care packages, allowances and help is a lottery. I hope things improve for you over the coming weeks.
Thanks Linda but Alzheimers at this stage means unpredictable behaviour and aggression, besides continence needs. The aggression on it's own rules it out. If it was as simple as just having someone to sit in the house for an hour or so to keep him company then there wouldn't be a problem. We're past that stage. But thank you for your kindness.
Hester - sorry for hijacking your post.
I hope the solicitor was satisfied you are who you say you are!
Hester, won't he go for your sake? You mention that YOU enjoyed it. He may not want to do this one thing, but at the moment you are doing many things you don't want to do. I think there should be a trade-off.
I don't mean to be harsh, please don't take it that way.
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