Sunday, 11 June 2023

Peace and quiet

Wednesday afternoon I had words with Steve!

I suggested he may prefer to live elsewhere as he doesn't seem happy here. He blustered briefly about having nowhere else to go. So I explained my plan of taking out a mortgage and buying him out. He drank himself into a stupor and went to bed.

Yesterday he was polite and civil.

It is now Sunday and he is still being mostly civil

It won't last but I have the mortgage details which I can show him.

He shopped yesterday with a neighbour and did a BBQ in the garden in the afternoon.

Today he is cooking a gammon joint, a piece of lamb and a chicken drumstick that was missed y'day.

18 comments:

Anonymous said...

Good on you making forward plans. My ex husband was very like yours, in the end I just got out and started afresh, it takes guts and a whole world of soul searching but your own happiness, sanity and peace must be priority. Take care and hugs to you xx. Jan in Castle Gresley

Anonymous said...

Good on you making forward plans. My ex husband was very like yours, in the end I just got out and started afresh, it takes guts and a whole world of soul searching but your own happiness, sanity and peace must be priority. Take care and hugs to you xx. Jan in Castle Gresley

Anonymous said...

Good for you!
I think that proves he can control his anger issues.
Martha x

Onevikinggirl said...

You are a good strong woman! Well done and all the best with the mortgage.

Anonymous said...

keep challenging him on his behaviour, don't enable his grump by saying & doing nothing.

ShellyC said...

Yes, keep on challenging him on his terrible behaviour.
He knows very well that he can behave properly and not use you as a verbal punch bag.
Keep your nerve on an escape route as well. Hopefully he's had a bit of a shck over you answering him back.
Always value your own worth, so much better than his.

Nelliegrace said...

I am so relieved that you were able to speak up for yourself, and challenge his behaviour.

Moira said...

Good for you

Sooze said...

Sometimes you just have to call their bluff. Staying quiet doesn't do anyone any good in the long run.

Chris said...

Proud of you! Keep standing up for yourself.

Ellen D. said...

I'm glad you got to speak your mind. Hope it helps improve your situation.

Rae said...

Stay strong and don't underestimate yourself. You will have to either continue to remind him of this potential change, to hold onto some peace for yourself, or you may have to pull the trigger, and do whatever it takes to move on without him. It's sad it has come to this but this is also proof that he has control of his tongue, when it may benefit himself. Don't give in to his hostility, you deserve better and life is too damn short. Ranee (MN) USA

Siebrie said...

Well done!

Mo said...

Well done to you; so many of us read but do not comment but we are all wanting the best for you xxxx Mo.

tessa said...

Good on ya for taking bull by horns xx my only concern is if s can choose to be civil he is choosing to be pig ignorant so maybe all is not lost xx

Anonymous said...

I’m proud of you for speaking up and confronting the bully in your husband! You are worthy !
Debbie

flis said...

I was advised by my brother in law and a cousin to record mine - The idea is to let him hear his episodes - I warn him when he gets into a roll - I show him my phone and it certainly helps - Then if that doesn't work I tell him I am calling for assistance - and will call the NhS again who spoke to him previously and even offered a paramedic or appointment at the hospital next day - Mine behaves now like a child having a tantrum x

A Smaller and Simpler Life said...

Good for you. I left my first husband and moved into a rental property when his behaviour just got too much, he swore he would change and when we got back together for a trial period his behaviour at first was impeccable, and then gradually over the course of a few weeks he just went back to his 'normal'. Needless to say I left for good then and have never regretted it. Sometimes you just have to stand up for yourself.

It's not a secret.

Y'day while Steve was out with his friend Bob, Betty phoned and asked if I'd like to go and get the cheap vegetables from the nearby...