My blood test has been moved to 28th November, I shall make the effort to go.
I took Beano out for an hours walk today, I used to walk him for an hour or so every day plus 2 or 3 shorter walks but then Steve decided to come on every walk with me which meant the walks were reduced to a slow stagger over a short distance.
Steve worries when I take Beano out, what if I trip, what if I fall in the canal, what if Beano falls in the canal. I told him I'd be out for an hour and made sure I wasn't late back. I took my phone with me too so Steve could phone if he got anxious.
I will now do this regularly, it will be good for me and Beano.
Steve has decided he wants to travel further on the boat next summer. I have agreed but I think he is wildly overestimating his ability and stamina but we will give it a go. I think it will take 3 or 4 months to cover the distance but we will see.
I'm happy enough to try the trip but I'm dreading the isolation. I know it will be three months when I don't get to have a conversation with anyone. It sounds unkind to say it but I cannot have a conversation with Steve. He refusal to wear his hearing aids means that if I try to talk to him, by the time I've repeated everything three times I've lost the will to carry on.
9 comments:
Dear Hester,
It is good to dream of summer journeys when you are snuggling round the winter fires.
Is it possible to get a megaphone such as the coxswain used to have for the eight man rowing boats? DH is being annoying about not wearing his hearing aid, or he has earphones on all evening listening to sport or politics, so it takes several goes even to ask if he wants a mug of coffee.
Best wishes,
NellieGrace
I wear hearing aids and I have to tell you that they are pretty much useless. If you wear glasses, they improve your vision to perfect. Hearing aids, however, just make all noise louder and add a sharp hiss. The human voice is almost impossible to pick up. My son asked me why I can hear a crisp bag crunching from several rooms away, but I cannot make out his words when his face is bare inches from mine. If I go out for coffee with friends, or to a restaurant with my husband, I keep my hearing aids in my purse, as I manage better without. At home, I ask my husband to speak directly to me, where I can see his lips. Both you and Steve have my sympathies on this issue, because neither of you are at fault.
I do hope your situation improves, my friend. Your patience is laudable, but your situation is so difficult and even painful for you.
I wear hearing aids myself, I was told that the more I wore them the clearer they would be. I put them in when I get up and they stay in until I go to bed.
I still have problems with some voices but on the whole they work well.
Although Steve refuses to wear his it drove him mad when I was waiting for mine to be upgraded, he just shouted all he time, even though he knows that shouting distorts words even more.
Do you have someone who could join you on the boat even if it is for a short period , this would take some of the pressure off you and maybe you can at least get some of the way .
Men ..mine has problems with his volume control caused by his seizures or his stroke they dont know which . But he cant tell hes shouting mid sentence or that nobody can hear him because hes whispering , this ends up with him going off on one because youre not paying attention . Word salad days are the worst when hes chucking random words into the conversation and you have to pretend you know what hes said. But as you say they panics if anyone points it out. His speech problems sometimes bother him far more than his physical ones.
You already have so much to deal with, I would be tempted to relegate thoughts of the summer boat trip to a back burner for now.
I rarely comment but I do read all your posts and silently send you my best wishes.
(My husband hasn't had a stroke, but he does display many of the behaviours you mention - anxiety, grumpiness, plus hearing and memory problems - which means that we have no real conversations, or shared simple throw away remarks, for several years now. Walking my dog for an hour each morning has saved my sanity! I take my phone, just in case, but come hell or high water I get out and about even if it is only into muddy fields.)
I wonder if, instead of endlessly repeating what you've said, or raising your voice to Steve, you repeated in a quiet voice while looking at him. He still wouldn't hear you, but if you did that several times, he would realise that his hearing aids were essential. He would see that you were speaking to him, so couldn't blame you for ignoring him.
My husband wears hearing aids but often forgets them! I am trying to train myself not to repeat a sentence he doesn't understand but to rephrase it with different words. That way often works and becomes a mini challenge for me which prevents annoyance!
So glad you went out for your Birthday, it was a perfect thing to do and you handled the complaints very well.
Can't help a little smile at what happened to the dreadful renter you had. He He!
My cousin has hearing aids, but they come with a microphone. The other person has to speak into the microphone and the hearing aids pick up that sound very clearly. It has made her life much easier. Maybe it will work for you on the boat?
Post a Comment